Am I being silly?

poet123

MrsE wrote: »

You can't pose a question like this on MSE & get the response you would expect from chatting with your girlfriends, sadly.
What happens is you get people who get brave & forget the human behind the keyboard & speak (or post) things they would never be so rude to say in real life.
We're all human, we all have sensitivities, my guess really is your dd picked one name her partner the other.
For what its worth, as a grandmother, it would probably put my nose out of joint to!!!!

I agree.:)

LEJC

debsue wrote: »

but I think that put in my position, very few people wouldnt be a little bit put out! I cannot help the way I feel

I still cant really understand why you feel put out....as I mentioned in my post earlier when we chose baby names we never gave it a thought that we would be upsetting one set over the other set of family.


we had a boys name (which favoured a family name already used on one side)and a girls name(which favoued the other side)...and a nickname which we referred to whilst still cooking!


Once baby popped out we gave him his name....and both sets of grandparents were delighted with our offspring...I'm not even sure they both ended up being told what the name would have been if he had been a she....but thats forgotton now simply because we never managed to produce a girl to even up the one name from my side and one name from your side situation.
Both my mother and indeed my mil are/were very formidable women who almost always disagreed with the other over most things...but neither ever expressed anything other than pure joy at the birth and naming of their grandchild....who 16 years later still is probably the only thing they actually have in common and dont disagree on.

too_much_debt

I have three girls none of whom are named after a family member. My OH picked DD1's first name and I picked her middle name. I picked DD2's first name and he picked her middle name and OH picked DD3's first name and I picked her middle name. Maybe that is what has happened with your daughter, she might have chosen a first name she liked and he has chosen his mother's name as a middle name.


My niece (my brother's daughter) has my Mum's middle name, my sil's mum died a long time ago so no one to get upset.


I am glad that I don't have boys as if OH had wanted to call them after both our father's they would be called Norman (my dad) and Pellegrino (his dad).

FBaby

debsue wrote: »

I would have advised against it out of consideration to the other grandmother. I think my own personal problem is that I try to please everyone

So what if one evening, your daughter and her partner want to go out and contact you and his mum to babysit. Both of you want to do it, but she is not free to do so. Will you tell your daughter that you can't babysit for them because it is not fair on her partner's mum? Where will it stop?

debsue

FBaby wrote: »

So what if one evening, your daughter and her partner want to go out and contact you and his mum to babysit. Both of you want to do it, but she is not free to do so. Will you tell your daughter that you can't babysit for them because it is not fair on her partner's mum? Where will it stop?

Now thats silly

FBaby

It's silly to consider it a lack of consideration to use one grandmother's name and not the other when that grandmother doesn't wish the child to have her own name.

j.e.j.

I am getting a slight hint, reading this thread, that there's some history between the 2 grandmothers-to-be.

Anyways, OP, on a lighter note, at least she's not done a Katie Price and amalgamated the 2 grandmother's names... and then used 'Princess' as a first name :eek:

I'm starting to wonder now if the reason for the poor child's middle name was so that the 2 grans didn't fall out :rotfl:

shegirl

mountainofdebt wrote: »

Is this the daughter that is already a mum?

Could it be that the OP does a lot of childcare for the couple or have helped them out in other ways yet the couple seem to favour the husband's family?

If so it may seem like the ultimate snub but in that case the OP needs to address that as a separate issue rather than look for acknowledgement by giving the baby her name

OP says she will be a granny for the first time this year.

debsue wrote: »

Well quite a mixed respomse. I am not an interfering mother and I certainly wouldnt compete for my grandchild against the other grandparents, I am of the opinion that a child that has both sets of grand parents has lots of love around it, who wouldnt want that for a child?

I will not say anything, but I think that put in my position, very few people wouldnt be a little bit put out! I cannot help the way I feel and I certainly will not allow it to spoil the very special relationship I have with my daughter and the excitment of a new baby.

Sorry.I can't think of any reason at all that would lead to being put out over a name,let alone it being reasonable to be put out.

I think you're being silly but I'm glad you aren't going to say anything.It'll pass.

valk_scot

My mum was absolutely gutted when my older sister had two daughters in quick succession and didn't use her (mum's) name for either of them, either first or middle name. But she said not one word about it to my sister. It took another twelve years for me to produce a girl and as I told my OH when we were thinking about names that we really had to use mum's name somewhere but it was up to him where. Fortunately my OH liked both the name and my mum so DD's first name is the same as mum's. My sister then announced I'd just done it to suck up to mum. Oh bah...but I was proud of my mum that she had managed to keep her disappointment to herself and not trigger off some sort of long running family feud. My sister was and still is a little bit on the dim side when it comes to other folk's feelings.


As it happened btw my DD picked up a nickname in her first year that has stuck ever since. Even my mum used it!

poet123

valk_scot wrote: »

My mum was absolutely gutted when my older sister had two daughters in quick succession and didn't use her (mum's) name for either of them, either first or middle name. But she said not one word about it to my sister. It took another twelve years for me to produce a girl and as I told my OH when we were thinking about names that we really had to use mum's name somewhere but it was up to him where. Fortunately my OH liked both the name and my mum so DD's first name is the same as mum's. My sister then announced I'd just done it to suck up to mum. Oh bah...but I was proud of my mum that she had managed to keep her disappointment to herself and not trigger off some sort of long running family feud. My sister was and still is a little bit on the dim side when it comes to other folk's feelings.


As it happened btw my DD picked up a nickname in her first year that has stuck ever since. Even my mum used it!

I don't think many posters on here would see it that way.;)

I think disappointment probably sums it up for the OP.