Hen night: am I being tight?

Errata

74jax wrote: »

I was another who read it as £300 for an outfit, but it covered the rest then understand that also. Although your £xxx must be a fab gift to make it near a thousand

£100 for a gift - that's less than a decent ironing system costs from Argos - from someone close enough to be asked to a hen 'do' which costs them £300, wouldn't be exceptional. That takes the total outlay to £700 - the thick end of £1k.

paulineb_2

Travel, if you book in advance you can often get cheap offers on train tickets. Hotels, its possible depending on location and the time of year to get cheap hotels as well. Ive stayed in London recently, cost me less than 40 pounds a night and would have been the same if there were two of us or even 3 of us.

It is possible to do things cheaply. If a hen weekend cost £300 there is absolutely no way Id be spending another £400 on the wedding. Id be very much looking to reduce my costs or it would be one or the other.

You can get married for less than £700, its a lot to spend just to attend someone elses hen weekend and wedding.

globetraveller

I feel sorry for young ones. When I got married a hen night was just that- a night in town. We had some great times. The thing is, it isn't one weekend away- most folks would have to fork out for several. And these tend to be over just a short time. God knows how they manage the costs.
Back on to the original query_ you were consulted at the beginning but I do agree that the MOH should have checked before booking. If nothing else, for her own sake as SHE is the one the hotel will come after if folks drop out. If it's a weekend I don't actually think £100 is that bad.

whodathunkit

globetraveller wrote: »

I feel sorry for young ones. When I got married a hen night was just that- a night in town. We had some great times. The thing is, it isn't one weekend away- most folks would have to fork out for several. And these tend to be over just a short time. God knows how they manage the costs.
Back on to the original query_ you were consulted at the beginning but I do agree that the MOH should have checked before booking. If nothing else, for her own sake as SHE is the one the hotel will come after if folks drop out. If it's a weekend I don't actually think £100 is that bad.

Why feel sorry for people choosing to do these expensive things - it's their choice to be so stupid.

paulineb_2

whodathunkit wrote: »

Why feel sorry for people choosing to do these expensive things - it's their choice to be so stupid.

I think its just a sign of the times. Most of my friends got married about 20 years ago, I remember the hen nights we went to included going to the brides house, having a good few drinks and going clubbing in a club we used to go to a lot, nothing new but just a good night out because it was all girls and celebrating the marriage.

I actually bought quite an expensive top for one of the weddings from Monsoon, I still have it over 20 years on and it still fits me.

But there was no outlay on hotels, travel, all my friends were local to me, all got married locally and all had hen nights locally so it was just an outfit (if I bought a new one, didnt always) and a present I had to buy. The cost of drinks on the hen night too.

74jax

globetraveller wrote: »

I feel sorry for young ones. When I got married a hen night was just that- a night in town. We had some great times. The thing is, it isn't one weekend away- most folks would have to fork out for several. And these tend to be over just a short time. God knows how they manage the costs.
Back on to the original query_ you were consulted at the beginning but I do agree that the MOH should have checked before booking. If nothing else, for her own sake as SHE is the one the hotel will come after if folks drop out. If it's a weekend I don't actually think £100 is that bad.

I know we're all focused on the £300. But the bride has organised a weekend for £100.00, if you want to go you go and if you don't then you decline.

Some can afford (and would like to) spend this on a weekend with friends and others wouldn't. As I've said in my earlier text, I'd be one person defo up for this weekend, but wouldn't think anything of anyone who decided not to go. It's friends we're talking about and you can pick and choose what you do and don't do.

whodathunkit wrote: »

Why feel sorry for people choosing to do these expensive things - it's their choice to be so stupid.

I don't think I'm 'stupid' for paying this amount and more for a weekend away, it's everyone's personal choice. I don't think someone spending more than what I would on a weekend is 'stupid' either. It's their choice.

orangeslimes

Ronaldo_Mconaldo wrote: »

Well that sounds like fun, or like any other normal night out? The whole point of these things is that you go to some other town so you don't run into a load of people you know when drunk off your trolley - the hen doesn't want word getting back to her fiance if she snogs someone does she? And staying in someone's home after a big night out like that? The whole point is that you can just pack up from a hotel and get away.

Sounds like your mate has the right idea to me.

Erm I think we'll be aiming for a bit tipsy, rather than off our trolleys wherever it is we go. Pretty sure hen would manage not to snog someone else too.
I suspect this weekend away will revolve more around drinking wine in the cottage and going out for dinner.

orangeslimes

Thanks everyone for your comments. It's interesting to see what people have to say (and interesting how quickly people start bickering over nothing much on forums too...)

I am going to go to the weekend. I'll look up train tickets as soon as they are available and hopefully be able to get a good advance deal.

They are talking about going to a spa for a bit of the weekend as well, but I've said that I am opting out of that. I will read a book or go for a nice walk instead.

I think the price might go up too as a couple of the girls said they wanted to come, but didn't give 100% assurance, but I will try not to complain about money.

I hadn't even really thought about the wedding gift - is it really expected that you will spend £100+ on a wedding present? I have never spent anything like that on a present for anyone ever. When another friend got married who is part of the same group of girls we all teamed together and put £10 or £20 in to get something, so I think I will probably suggest that.

I am just glad that no more of my friends look like they are likely to get married anytime soon. I'm trying to save money so that I can maybe buy a flat next year, and I want to go on holiday with my boyfriend and also do things with my other friends, suppose its about priorities.

It's possible that for the actual wedding I might be able to stay at my friend's/my friend's parents house, so it might not be so bad but I'm not sure. It might depend on whether I bring my boyfriend as a plus one.

I don't think my friend getting married will make much difference to how much I see her at all, but I think she wants children so if she starts having those soon it might make these kind of get togethers more tricky so I suppose should make the most of it.

paulineb_2

I dont think Ive ever spent £100 on a present for a friend who was getting married, nor would they have expected me to.

Errata

When another friend got married who is part of the same group of girls we all teamed together and put £10 or £20 in to get something, so I think I will probably suggest that.

Really? A tenner? The cost of less than two packets of fags !