Hen night: am I being tight?

burnoutbabe

jaylee3 wrote: »

I can't imagine why anyone would do this to be honest: just booking a trip costing £300 with no consultation whatsover and expecting people to cough up. Did she not give ANY kind of inkling of what she was doing, or a rough idea of what it was likely to cost?

it was £100. £300 is the OPs guess at the cost including trains to get there and food/drink.

Now £100 for an actual booking seems much more reasonable, I can't imagine booking anywhere for less than £100 for 2 nights (if a hotel, or a nice cottage). We don't know what sort of accommodation it is - cottage where its one charge shared or everyone in a B&B or nice hotel? Hotel in London or hotel in Blackpool. Do you get your own room for £100 or have to bunk with 3 others (not ideal).

F_Bear

surley the hen/stag is the ebst part of getting married (espically for your pals), your only guna do it once, and when the wedding itself is prob costing 5k + then £100 for the hen do sounds reasonable.

booking without asking is abit daft tho but when a normal sat night can cost £100 then accom for 2 nites is ok. as for food and stuff take pack up, find cheap places to eat, etc. you can make it as dear or as cheap a week end as you like.

as other people have said, go enjoy urself..........

ps, im having my stag in Magaluf end of the year......................only reason im getting married :-)

paulineb_2

F_Bear wrote: »

surley the hen/stag is the ebst part of getting married (espically for your pals), your only guna do it once, and when the wedding itself is prob costing 5k + then £100 for the hen do sounds reasonable.

booking without asking is abit daft tho but when a normal sat night can cost £100 then accom for 2 nites is ok. as for food and stuff take pack up, find cheap places to eat, etc. you can make it as dear or as cheap a week end as you like.

as other people have said, go enjoy urself..........

ps, im having my stag in Magaluf end of the year......................only reason im getting married :-)

The accommodation is going to be £100. With extras the OP estimated that its going to be around £300.

To be honest, Im not sure that people, having booked accommodation for £100 a head which will possibly rise as people drop out are going to look at money saving ideas for the rest of it.

If someone wanted a hen night as cheaply as possible, they wouldnt be making a weekend of it in the first place. What the wedding cost is irrelevant, if someone cant afford it, they cant afford it. I know the OP can, but other people who are friends cant.

A normal Saturday night out doesnt cost £100 in my world.

Pollycat

F_Bear wrote: »

surley the hen/stag is the ebst part of getting married (espically for your pals), your only guna do it once, and when the wedding itself is prob costing 5k + then £100 for the hen do sounds reasonable.

booking without asking is abit daft tho but when a normal sat night can cost £100 then accom for 2 nites is ok. as for food and stuff take pack up, find cheap places to eat, etc. you can make it as dear or as cheap a week end as you like.

as other people have said, go enjoy urself..........

ps, im having my stag in Magaluf end of the year......................only reason im getting married :-)

I fail to comprehend how much the wedding is going to cost has any relevance to the cost of the hen party which will be paid by each person who attends.

My 'normal Saturday night' costs nowhere near £100.

Person_one

Pollycat wrote: »

I fail to comprehend how much the wedding is going to cost has any relevance to the cost of the hen party which will be paid by each person who attends.

My 'normal Saturday night' costs nowhere near £100.

... and I can't think of much worse than a weekend in Magaluf!

Pollycat

Person_one wrote: »

... and I can't think of much worse than a weekend in Magaluf!

Maybe a week in Magaluf....?

Or a week in Magaluf with a load of sozzled stags......?

paulineb_2

Pollycat wrote: »

I think 'expectations' cause a lot of trouble with weddings & hen dos.

Brides often 'expect' people to trek halfway across the world (tongue-in-cheek) to attend weddings and spend vast sums of money on week-long hen parties abroad.

Of course it's not 'expected' to spend any amount of money on a wedding gift.
People have different disposable incomes, the closeness of the friendship/family member may also be a factor.

I'd never 'expect' to pay £100+ plus on a wedding present but I may well spend that (or more) if it was a really close friend.

£100 to me may mean something entirely different (financially) to another guest.

On the other hand, I might just buy something small from the wedding gift list.

It all depends - no 'expectations' at all.

I agree. Also, when some of my friends got married, they were engaged and didnt wait long until getting married. So two presents in a short space of time. If people dont have a lot of money, I dont think theres anything wrong with giving £10 or £20 a head for a gift.

Its better than giving nothing. Also, so many people who get married are already living together, lots of couples dont need much. I think a wedding is about celebrating the decision of two people to marry, not feeling pressured that you have to give X amount or you'll look tight.

Also, some people dont do it once. I know two people who got married, divorced and married in quite a short space of time and several more who got married and waited some time before remarrying. A friend of my family got married 3 years ago, lasted 18 months, shes now divorcing him, shes been living in her home since well before she got married and Im sure when she got married she got lots of stuff, shes from a big family. If she were to marry again and I was looking for a gift to buy her, Id be a bit stuck and Id probably ask her what she wanted.

But she certainly wouldnt think I was tight if I only gave £10 or £20, she knows my financial circumstances and Ive already given to an engagement and wedding present in the past (Im certainly not saying that if you give once you shouldnt give again, but people do go into marriage thinking its going to be for life, however marriages can and do break down and sometimes quickly and people can end up meeting someone else and marrying again in a short space of time).

Its the gesture thats important, not how much you spend, thats my view.

southoftheriver

Friend of a friend had their hen do in the usa and specified the dress code amongst other things! I would have told her to get knotted but obviously her friends were less bothered.

I'm not even engaged yet, but people forget that getting married might be they it's important time of their lives, but it isn't of mine! I don't see me going abroad or spending a large amount of money for one night. I'd find myself alone with a large credit card bill too!

1886

I've got two friends (they don't know each other) who are both getting married this year. One told me last wkend that his stag do will be somewhere in eastern europe and that he won't be doing anything in england for people who can't go. A few days ago the other friend basically said exactly the same!!

There's no way I'll be able to afford to go to both, I don't even know if I can afford to go to one. I think it's a bit selfish on both of their accounts. If it was me I'd do the abroad thing but have a night out back home too

The wife and I are hoping to go to Spain this year, we did'nt go on holiday last year. There's no chance of me going away three times this year. I can see me not going on either stag do

PenguinOfDeath

paulineb wrote: »

I agree. Also, when some of my friends got married, they were engaged and didnt wait long until getting married. So two presents in a short space of time.

We're supposed to give people engagement presents now?! :eek: