Hen night: am I being tight?

paulineb_2

Errata wrote: »

Really? A tenner? The cost of less than two packets of fags !

But if theres a large group of friends the present is a decent amount.

paulineb_2

And bear in mind that some people will have spent money on the hen night/weekend/week or whatever people want to do with the celebration before the wedding and people may have different financial circumstances.

74jax

Errata wrote: »

Really? A tenner? The cost of less than two packets of fags !

We have 5 in our close group and that's the amount we put in for my friends wedding and what they did for me last year too.

paulineb_2

74jax wrote: »

We have 5 in our close group and that's the amount we put in for my friends wedding and what they did for me last year too.

Makes sense if you have a few weddings to go to in a short space of time, all my friends seemed to get married one after the other.

balletshoes

of course you don't have to spend £100 or anything like that on the wedding present - everyone has a different idea on whats a reasonable amount, and I think £100 is a lot.

claire16c

I normally give around £50 for a wedding present, £20/25 if were only invited to the evening do.

We got around £40-100 from people when we got married from friends.

I couldn't chip in a tenner, I spend more on my friends birthdays! Also I've never been asked to put money in for anything, everyone has always done their own thing.

Regarding the hen party I think it's fine for the bridesmaids to arrange what they want but they shouldnt book anything without people's agreement and they shouldn't be surprised if they book expensive stuff but people don't go to all of it.

Georgiegirl256

Errata wrote: »

Really? A tenner? The cost of less than two packets of fags !

Maybe some people can't afford to put much more in? Or can but don't want to, it's all personal preference.

Personally we'd probably spend anywhere from about £20-£50 depending on how close we were to the couple.

When we got married, my BIL gave us £100 and a family friend who is well off gave us £20, with various amounts inbetween. So I guess even if you know people have quite a bit of money, you shouldn't assume or judge the amount they give.

jaylee3

I think that whether £300 is a lot to spend on a weekend or not, is subjective. However, for someone to go and book it without consulting the people involved and asking them if that price is OK, is incredibly inconsiderate. I would be extremely reluctant to pay it. Unless I was very keen on going, and could afford it. If you're not that bothered, tell her you can't go.

If she has gone and paid in advance for it, before getting payment for it, and (obviously) not consulting people, then it's tough tittie on her. She will have to try and get a refund on the ones not going.

I can't imagine why anyone would do this to be honest: just booking a trip costing £300 with no consultation whatsover and expecting people to cough up. Did she not give ANY kind of inkling of what she was doing, or a rough idea of what it was likely to cost?

Pollycat

orangeslimes wrote: »

I hadn't even really thought about the wedding gift - is it really expected that you will spend £100+ on a wedding present? I have never spent anything like that on a present for anyone ever. When another friend got married who is part of the same group of girls we all teamed together and put £10 or £20 in to get something, so I think I will probably suggest that.

I think 'expectations' cause a lot of trouble with weddings & hen dos.

Brides often 'expect' people to trek halfway across the world (tongue-in-cheek) to attend weddings and spend vast sums of money on week-long hen parties abroad.

Of course it's not 'expected' to spend any amount of money on a wedding gift.
People have different disposable incomes, the closeness of the friendship/family member may also be a factor.

I'd never 'expect' to pay £100+ plus on a wedding present but I may well spend that (or more) if it was a really close friend.

£100 to me may mean something entirely different (financially) to another guest.

On the other hand, I might just buy something small from the wedding gift list.

It all depends - no 'expectations' at all.

whodathunkit

74jax wrote: »

I know we're all focused on the £300. But the bride has organised a weekend for £100.00, if you want to go you go and if you don't then you decline.

Some can afford (and would like to) spend this on a weekend with friends and others wouldn't. As I've said in my earlier text, I'd be one person defo up for this weekend, but wouldn't think anything of anyone who decided not to go. It's friends we're talking about and you can pick and choose what you do and don't do.



I don't think I'm 'stupid' for paying this amount and more for a weekend away, it's everyone's personal choice. I don't think someone spending more than what I would on a weekend is 'stupid' either. It's their choice.

My comment was in response to someone who said they felt sorry for young people who had to pay this sort of amount these days. What's stupid is thinking that it has to be this way.