Hen night: am I being tight?

Person_one

Ronaldo_Mconaldo wrote: »

Well that sounds like fun, or like any other normal night out? The whole point of these things is that you go to some other town so you don't run into a load of people you know when drunk off your trolley - the hen doesn't want word getting back to her fiance if she snogs someone does she? And staying in someone's home after a big night out like that? The whole point is that you can just pack up from a hotel and get away.

Sounds like your mate has the right idea to me.

Um, since when is that the point?

Its only quite recently that the pressure to go away for a 'hen weekend' started to mount. It used to just be a night out locally.

Errata

I went to a great hen night, 30 of us in the back room of the local Italian caff. Hens were friends, sisters, mums, MIL's, aunties, cousins.
Everyone had a great time and the caff staff treated them all like movie stars and laid on free bubbly.
Far superior to a weekend in some fleabitten seaside B&B.

Pollycat

There's been lots of these types of threads recently.

I'm firmly in the camp of "I don't mind where you have your hen night or your wedding but don't expect me to pay wads of cash to attend".

I could probably easily afford to spend £300 on a weekend away but I'd prefer to spend that money on a weekend with my OH - or put it towards a holiday.

But maybe that's just my age as I don't have many friends who are likely to be having hen parties or weddings.

When I was young , hen parties were held in the local town usually ending up at the local nightclub with chicken in a basket, dancing to Motown. :rotfl:

I would be bloody furious if someone booked me into a hotel without checking with me first that I was OK with that.

Georgiegirl256

orangeslimes wrote: »

I mean for others. She has subsidised someone before without telling them, but she would know I'm being tight and will tell me not to be silly-might buy me a drink. Which is why I wont say anything like that. I might make the point about checking budge before deciding.

I will go and I am happy for her. Its just an issue that comes up now and again with these friends so interested in other perspectives.

Good, go and have a good time, let your hair down and enjoy it!

One quote that stands out to me though from your first post is that you don't believe in spending money 'unnecessarily'. So you deem spending money on a holiday for your friends 'last weekend of freedom' (it's a saying btw, I don't mean it literally!) a waste of money? Well IMO it isn't spending money unnecessarily as it is what your friend wants. Don't let your resentment at having to pay spoil the weekend though.

Person_one

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Good, go and have a good time, let your hair down and enjoy it!

One quote that stands out to me though from your first post is that you don't believe in spending money 'unnecessarily'. So you deem spending money on a holiday for your friends last weekend of freedom a waste of money? Well IMO it isn't spending money unnecessarily as it is what your friend wants. Don't let your resentment at having to pay spoil the weekend though.

Ooh, are we all entitled to get our friends to shell out so we can do what we want? This could be fun!

Brighton_belle

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

So you deem spending money on a holiday for your friends last weekend of freedom a waste of money?

Seriously?? I have exactly the same relationship with my friends as I did before I got married.

bagpussbear

For someone to book something that ties someone else up financially, without any consultation or agreement, is downright wrong.

I would not be happy if a friend did that for me.

But to be honest, don't get too worked up about it - if you don't want to go, then don't. You just have to say that you can't afford it and was very surprised anything had been booked without consulting the rest of us about cost. And that you'll take her out for a meal/drink (maybe with any other friends that decide not to go too?) separately.

What is it these days about having long hen/stag weekends away, that cost so much for everyone involved. Not sure I really understand it, and just smacks of excess in my opinion. Perhaps I'm just old fashioned, lol.

Pollycat

Person_one wrote: »

Ooh, are we all entitled to get our friends to shell out so we can do what we want? This could be fun!

Exactly!

My friend wants to get married on Fiji and it will cost me, OH & 4 kids £30K to go but Hey! It's what she wants so it's not spending money unnecessarily. :rotfl:

Tongue-in-cheek, Georgiegirl (I don't have 4 kids and don't have a friend who is getting married in Fiji)

And

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

So you deem spending money on a holiday for your friends last weekend of freedom a waste of money?

Seriously? :eek:

Georgiegirl256

Person_one wrote: »

Ooh, are we all entitled to get our friends to shell out so we can do what we want? This could be fun!

I wish! I'd have a designer handbag if that was the case!

I mean if that's what the friend has chosen and wants to do, then she is after all the hen and the choice of where she wants to go is down to her (unless she's told her friends to organise a surprise that is), and basically as the OP can afford it, she either wants to go or she doesn't.

If she does want to go and she can comfortably afford it then where's the problem? If she chooses not to then it could come across as 'well you know I can afford it, but I choose not to spend my money on having a fun weekend with my friends, as I have better things to spend it on'. Which is fair enough I guess, but like I said previously, you can't take it (money) with you.

But as I said in my OP, I don't disagree that everyone should have been consulted first before hotel rooms etc were booked, you can't tie up people's money without asking, so yes, in that instance it was wrong.

Georgiegirl256

For those comment on my 'last weekend of freedom' comment, yes I admit, that didn't come out the best way it could! (Have now edited so I don't get more people jumping on that comment!)

It's a saying, and I think you all know what I meant....

I didn't mean she'd never have a night out/weekend away again! Seriously, some people find anything they can to pick on in these forums.