Hen night: am I being tight?

74jax

orangeslimes wrote: »

One of my friends is getting married and another friend has organised the hen night.

she has gone and booked accommodation at the cost of £100+ each without checking everyone is happy with it.Including the cost of train tickets/eating the weekend is easily going to be £300.

I can afford it- its just I don't like spending money that I feel isn't necessary

If I had a hen party I would have it in the city where I live

These same friends have organised group holidays before (which I haven't been on) which involve booking expensive cottages abroad with swimming pools which I just view as extravagant.

I think its bad it was booked and 'expected' you could go, but in this instance I think everyone has there own opinion.

I, Like you, could afford £300 for a girlie weekend away, but I would jump at the chance. I love weekends away with my friends/daughter/hubby, to me they aren't unnecessary.

Similarly, the cottage with pool is what hubby and I do, and have done since we met, every October for a weekend. I don't see it as a waste of money but a fantastic weekend.

If you would choose your hen in your home town that's up to you, you would be the hen and can pick to suit you. But this hen and her MOH have picked something else.

But these are my thoughts, you can't please everyone. If you don't want to go then don't.

geri1965_2

Ronaldo_Mconaldo wrote: »

The whole point of these things is that you go to some other town so you don't run into a load of people you know when drunk off your trolley - the hen doesn't want word getting back to her fiance if she snogs someone does she?

Is it? I had my hen night in my own town, it was just to a chance to have a good night with my female friends! I wouldn't have dreamt of snogging someone so not really an issue.

Is that normal behaviour then, for the bride to be to go around snogging people?

Errata

The booker is an idiot and so is the bride for allowing her to do it. The booker can easily find herself seriously out of pocket with nothing but her amazing stupidity to blame for it.

bossymoo

Mine was in my home town too and I did snog someone but only because my then fianc! drove into town to collect us and I was tipsy and rather pleased to see him lol he was a bit "ugh stop it will you, at least till we've dropped my mum home" :rotfl:

Laurajo_2

Whether or not you can afford it is a moot point - no one should be committing you to spending that kind of money without discussing it with you first.

£300 is waaaaay too expensive IMO, and I suspect will get more expensive as people drop out and your expected to cover their share.

thorsoak

orangeslimes wrote: »

I sometimes think my friends live on a different planet to me. One of my friends is getting married and another friend has organised the hen night. It's a weekend away and I am a bit taken aback she has gone and booked accommodation at the cost of £100+ each without checking everyone is happy with it.

Including the cost of train tickets/eating the weekend is easily going to be £300.

I can afford it- its just I don't like spending money that I feel isn't necessary - and I am not sure it is fair to expect people to spend so much on a weekend. One of the girls who is invited doesn't have a job, another is studying.

If I had a hen party I would have it in the city where I live where I could put people up so the main cost would be limited to travel and drinks/maybe a meal, as not all my friends are well off (no plans to get married though).

I'm not sure if I am being unreasonable? or maybe I just have different values and priorities. These same friends have organised group holidays before (which I haven't been on) which involve booking expensive cottages abroad with swimming pools which I just view as extravagant.

It just seems that its so expensive - as there's also the cost of going to the actual wedding itself. I'm glad none of my other friends are getting married soon.

I just wondered what people's thoughts are on this?

You've hit the nail on the head there - they have different values to yours - not saying that you are right and they are wrong - or vice versa! Either go, put up and shut up and enjoy the weekend -or simply say "no, sorry, I just can't go". It must have suited the bride - and she is the important person in this scenario.

Timpu

Way too much IMHO, especially without consultation. I had this and went to my friend's wedding day only and had a fantastic time, seeing her walk down the isle and glow with happiness.

I decided £200+ for a couple of nights was more than I was happy to spend and that was before the kitty for those wanting to drink/not drink/food got started.

I decided on a low key hen do when it was my turn, asked for £10 for the activity and people could drop in and out according to what suited them afterwards. Some stayed for one drink, others where happy to go the whole hog and stay on for the meal and beyond.

getmore4less

orangeslimes wrote: »

I will go and I am happy for her. Its just an issue that comes up now and again with these friends so interested in other perspectives.

You organise something and invite them. if enough say yes book it.

ciderwithrosie_2

If I was a 'hen' (again) I'd rather have lots of friends able to join in, a cheap as chips night if you like, and it not be restricted to a few that could grudgingly (probably) afford it. The more you pay, the higher the expectation that it's going to be a great weekend which isn't always the case, especially if numbers are limited.

gilly1964

I had a small hen do and hubby had a big stag do, but all the way along people were made very aware of the definite costs and were only asked to commit once they paid a deposit.

As there were going to be couples coming along to one or the other we did not want people spending a small fortune so there is no way we would have committed other peoples money without checking first. We also had them a month apart and about six weeks before the wedding to help spread the cost.

The stags had a 70s weekend at Butlins, over 30 of them, it was a very messy affair. This was £120 but they then had to sort food and drinks, not cheap at Butlins:eek:

The girls had a weekend in Blackpool as one of my bridesmaids lives there whilst at uni, she couldn't get away so the hens went North to her. Eight of us using Tesco Vouchers to do things like the Tower and eating out during the day, B&B with evening meal £89 for 3 nights, we shared the petrol costs. On the Saturday we had a girly pamper session in the afternoon, bubbly and face packs before going out to a show.

Our whole weekend was about £150 and we had more fun than the guys who just did what stags do and got larrupped:beer: