The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

cwtw

Hi Lily Rose, how’re you doing? Hope the counselling went well.
We’re in the process of trying for our second - definitely need IVF so we’re back on the rollercoaster.
In terms of when people make a decision that they’ve done enough IVF - I think that’s a totally personal decision with loads of factors. I’ve read a great book that really helped on my first journey, if you’re interested in recommendations - it covers all aspects of infertility including adoption.
As for you, have you done a proper consultation with the new clinic? If you’re not happy worth their advice, then I’d suggest going somewhere else and seeing what they say.
Take care x

Lily_Rose

Hi cwtw, had counselling and it was really good to talk openily about it, the only other person I talk to about it is OH and think there's only so much he can take...are you taking meds now? Which protocol are you following??

Not sure of current clinic yet - nhs funded round - but I think they were optimistic because on paper I am 'young' and therefore quality and quantity of eggs should be good.

Tried to call to find out what my results were but was told the consultant only makes a certain number of calls a day so will have to be Monday. No doubt they will talk about my low amh .

I feel we will have another set back...my OH have had to freeze some sperm as now back on arthritis drugs (poor thing was off them for almost 4 years and suffering crippling pain) clinic won't let us ship the frozen sperm to new clinic by ourselves and will only allow a specialist courier to do this. I don't know why as they say we wouldn't be able to insure it, it will cost us a few hundred to get this done and could have been free if we did it ourselves! Really annoyed me! Was really hoping to start treatment this month but the reviews on the 'recommended' couriers aren't too great with a review saying it took 2 months!

Why is baby making so difficult?!

kate5555

Hi Lily Rose, so sorry to hear about your BFN and also the loss of your grandad. I'm glad you found the counselling helpful though and hope you are doing ok. Fingers crossed that your new clinic is better as the follow up appointment from your previous post sounds a bit disappointing, plus how frustrating that they won't let you transfer the frozen sperm yourself.

Lily_Rose wrote: »

I didn't want to say that we had 2 private treatments in case (selfish of me) they take it away but also to see how they do things differently or similarly to the previous clinic.

My question really is...how do you know when to stop trying and possibly think about adopting?

RE your quote above - for what it's worth I don't think it is selfish of you at all! But do you know for sure that having had previous IVF treatment would make you ineligible for NHS treatment? If not are you sure it is not worth telling them about your previous private cycles in case they have any insight / can suggest something different that might improve your chances? Bear in mind though that I am completely inexperienced in IVF treatment though so sorry if that is absolute rubbish advice! Just a thought anyway.

Me and my OH have decided we will try the 3 NHS funded cycles we are offered and if that is unsuccessful then we will stop trying and think about next steps. I suppose we might feel differently if we were only offered 1 or 2 NHS cycles though.

I had the endometrial scratch last week and it went OK, it seemed to take quite long to get the 'scratcher' into place so lots of uncomfortable poking around! The actual scratching was quite painful but at least didn't take too long. Now I'm impatiently waiting AF in the next few days so I can start injections, I'm on the short protocol. Will keep you updated x

kate5555

Hi everyone,

I'm 10 days into stimming and only 4 follicles total seem to be growing which is disappointing. I was feeling positive at the first scan as they observed around 15 follicles per ovary but most of them are still tiny even after 10 days. It looks like we will do egg collection on Friday so fingers crossed my follies have a growth spurt in the next few days.

Cheeky_Monkey

Fingers (and everything else) crossed for you Kate

Btw, thank you for the update :beer:

Lily_Rose

Hi all, hope everyone is ok.

Kate, I haven't told them as I believe they will just cancel. Af has arrived today so will be starting my injections tomorrow and I have first scan booked in for Friday.

You are lucky to be living in an area where they still offer 3 cycles, wish we still had it!

I agree the scratch was extremely uncomfortable! I don't think we have been offered this with the new clinic.

Also Kate, all you need is one really good egg, of course if there were more that would have been excellent. I think I will have a low number of eggs but hoping that the lower dosage will mean better quality eggs. Good luck with EC, please let us know how it goes.

Forgot to mention, was advised amh was 9. My previous was 8.1 so seems it has miraculously increased??

Xxx

kate5555

Thanks Cheeky and Lily Just been for yet another scan (5th in 2 weeks) and this time there are only 3 follicles they said look like they will be big enough, but still going ahead with EC on Friday.

Feeling stressed about work too, I'm lucky that I don't need to start at a specific time but people are starting to notice that I don't come in until 10am every few days when I've had a scan. Just had to cancel attendance at a work conference on Friday for EC and will need to move another meeting next week if we are lucky enough to make it to a 5 day transfer. Thankfully my job isn't at risk but its a bit awkward as I have to make up excuses as I don't want to tell anyone why.

Work worries coupled with the low number of follicles is making me want to give up on this cycle and I'm struggling a bit to stay optimistic I've been on a low dose as I was thought to be at risk of OHSS so think that's why not much follicle growth, I'll hope too that could mean better quality eggs. Will try to keep reminding myself what you said about only needing one good one Lily! And it ain't over yet.

Will def update you after Friday, it's helpful to be able tell someone as my OH doesn't really get the details of the process. When I told him on Monday that the follicles weren't growing as expected he even said maybe it was because I have been injecting in my thighs instead of my belly which enraged me :mad: Always an opinion even when he doesn't have a clue. I did start injecting in my belly after that just in case but am not going to tell him that! :rotfl:

It's so sh***y that not all CCGs offer 3 or even 2 NHS cycles isn't it. Sorry if it was a bit insensitive of me to say I'm offered 3 cycles. It's one of the few benefits to living in The North. I do appreciate how lucky we are though.

Hope all goes well in the next few weeks Lily. It's a good start with the improved AMH! xx

Lily_Rose

I think i had 3 scans for both rounds, did you have blood tests? I didn't but I think the new clinic does.

Did your dosages increase at any point? My first 2 rounds I was on 450iu, this round I am on 150iu so a third. I am worried follies won't grow but at the same time I hope it means better quality.

I agree it is def diffciult to make excuses but people are so nosey, they should mind their own business. I just made excuses like I had a delivery, taking my parents to hospital...

No don't be silly, I am just grateful that we were getting help from the NHS

It's hard but try your best to relax, watch anything that makes you laugh or meditate. I found this quite helpful. I am also having acupuncture

Fingers crossed that you get to blastocyst stage xxx

Lily_Rose

Morning all, hope everyone is ok,

I went for my first scan yesterday, I think there were 4 follies in each ovary so seems about right but ones in the left were really small... I had 9 in the first round and 12 in the second, but apparently still early days as i've just had my 3rd injection last night.

Kate how did things go with EC?

xxx

kate5555

Hi all,

They got 5 eggs yesterday but couldn’t tell how many were mature then but was feeling optimistic. Also OHs sample was much better quality than the SA he did in December so that was some good news. Because of that they recommended we do IVF instead of ICSI as planned.

However got the call this morning that only 1 egg was mature enough to fertilise so only 1 embryo growing and will be put back on Monday (day 3). Am feeling quite deflated by this but trying to remember it still isn’t over yet.

Hope those follies keep growing Lily. I was on 150iu as well and they didn’t increase my dosage at all even though it seemed evident from the first scan that the follicles weren’t growing much. They also didn’t take any bloods other than on the day 3 scan. Will make sure to ask about that if we need a 2nd cycle.

Xx