The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

mrsvicx

Evening all, sorry I've been quiet today, I've had a bad day. Took my DS to his school fair and was faced with bumps and babies everywhere. I just wanted to scream! And then my (pregnant) SIL phoned to arrange a weekend away - REALLY???!!!! (She knows about the mc, by the way).
And I really don't want to go for this scan tomorrow. I've bled constantly since it all started on Thursday, and passed what I assume was my bean, so I just want to be left alone now.
And I have to go back to work on Monday, as I have so much work to do with tight deadlines, that I would be more stressed about it if I stayed at home....
I was coping so well yesterday, and today it's just all gone to pot...

mrsvicx

Oh and to top it off, the date for my 12 week scan came through this morning....

vesper

codemonkey wrote: »

Its a horrible realisation being told that it will never happen naturally especially as its such a normal thing to want. It's heart-breaking knowing that we will never have children (I now officially cannot watch the opening scenes of UP), but keep heart- you have some sperm and 1 chance of IVF may be all you ever need.

I think men do take it personally - like their sperm relates to their manhood and so any attack on their sperm count and they retreat to their wee caves.

The thing I'm struggling with most atm (all med side effects aside) is how little control I have over all this. We can't have a child with or without icsi because of DH's Klinefelters, which is just one of those things that he can't help. But I hate that as far as he's concerned that's it. There wont be sperm donation or adoption because he refuses to even consider them. And that's the end, regardless of what I want. :(


PM, don't you know that you'd get pregnant if you just went on holiday? :rotfl:

As much as I love UP I completely agree. I never thought a childrens' film could almost sum up some of the emotions of knowing you can't conceive. It is truly one of the most beautiful, but painful clips I have ever seen in my life.


I feel for you so much Code. I want the happy code back like what was on the wedding forums. I am sorry I think I have been very selfish tonight, only thinking of myself. I shall blame the lack of cake and crème eggs.

codemonkey

vesper wrote: »

As much as I love UP I completely agree. I never thought a childrens' film could almost sum up some of the emotions of knowing you can't conceive. It is truly one of the most beautiful, but painful clips I have ever seen in my life.


I feel for you so much Code. I want the happy code back like what was on the wedding forums. I am sorry I think I have been very selfish tonight, only thinking of myself. I shall blame the lack of cake and crème eggs.

I don't think you're being selfish at all. It's horrible sitting in that room learning that there is actually a reason you can't conceive and even more horrible that nobody else seems to understand how painful and scary it is. We're all in the same boat really.

I'll be back to my normal happy self soon, once the meds stop kicking my butt.

mrsvicx

Hugs PM, sorry you've had a rough day too xx

vesper

Thank you. I was ok until last night when I went out with my friends. has 2 very small kids and just talked about them, the other was on about all her friends that have children this week, and the other was on about how she has just got her OH (who is much much older than her and in his mind has already done the whole family thing) to have a child with her. So was 4 hours of talking about kids. Not exactly good for me. I did tell them what was going on but in usual people's views 'oh look you will get IVF and all will be successful straight away', they don't know the first thing about it.

Part_Mouse

Mrs vics sorry to hear your not doing so well today.why does life have to be so cruel a huge group hug is needed.

mrsvicx

Thanks PM, I know what you mean, and it's so unfair when people who make the s#*%est parents seem to knock them out whenever they feel like it....

codemonkey

Ok. Bad Confession time: Sometimes I wish we hadn't gone for tests and I'd just shagged someone similar in appearance to DH.

Of course, I'd be unable to live with the guilt, but I might have a child. :rotfl::rotfl:

Part_Mouse

Mrs it always seems to work out that way doesn't it.makes my blood boil.

Code that doesn't sound bad at all.if its something you really want and dh is closing down other options it must really feel like your needs arnt being listened to/ met.