The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

Wonder_Woman

Oh really cwtw? That is interesting to know, they don't put that on the website eh? I was tempted by the relaxation cd last cycle but never got around to ordering.

We did book a consultation yesterday for June. They said they like to see you min. 3 months before you start a cycle and preferably more so hopefully the fact we won't start for a while as want a break doesn't matter. It's not with the lady herself but one of the consultants and just to get an idea of our options/if they think they can help us. Have a raft of paperwork to fill in! It's a long way from home and more expensive than where we are so would be a big decision.

isla_red

Thanks cwtw. Said friend has just followed up with a text message outlining why using up all my annual leave isn't an issue and that I should just request unpaid leave. Right. While my OH is currently out of work. What a great idea. I think I'll need to stop reading her messages for a while. This is just not helping.

WW I'd be really interested to hear how you get on. I know that Zita West (and I think first response) are currently spearheading a campaign titled get Britain fertile so will be interested to hear what the consultation is like.

Wonder_Woman

I'll definitely let you know. They may not want us yet

codemonkey

Isla - what a dreadful thing for your friend to say. Well done for not punching her.

Afm - can't stop cryng today. And its the bawling, snotty nose, crying. Burst into tears so many times when I had the dog out earlierl and now safely at home bawling my eyes out.

Part_Mouse

Code huge hugs to you.

emmaj30

Pinkteapot. _ Yes its our first nhs cycle of three (hopefully we won't need all three) Ours will probably be exactly the same time. I thought it was first day that you started injections rather then day 21!! I obviously have a lot to learn!!!!

Peonie

Delurking to say to Isla your friend has no idea what she's on about. Are you not tempted to write to her and tell her how hurt you are?

isla_red

Peonie I really appreciate you delurking. I am tempted but don't know how to do it without being labelled bitter because she has kids. I know she thinks she is being helpful but her comments have really hurt me. I think she just assumed that it would work tbh and now doesn't have any idea how to handle that it hasn't. I'd almost rather she just said nothing.

cwtw

Hope I didn't out you off Ww. I do think the idea of holistic treatment, including looking after your mind and your relationship is important. They may be able to provide helpful ideas /assisting ideas without having to have the full treatment there. I found the cd really helpful and relaxing, but I think they are an acquired taste and you have to like the voices!
A therapist I know recommended a book which I bought and have found very helpful (bought from a well known website for a penny!)
Conquering Infertility: Dr. Alice Domar's Mind/Body Guide to Enhancing Fertility and Coping with Infertility

I would recommend it to all of you in terms of looking after your mind as well as our bodies. It has a particularly helpful chapter isla on managing your friends and family. She uses case studies and in one, a lady writes to her friend after some particularly insensitive comments to explain how hurtful what she says is and why (because, luckily for them, not everyone has to go through this horrendous journey.) she suggests you don't always have to send the letters, but just writing them can be cathartic.

code sending you a big virtual hug.

pinkteapot

emmaj30 wrote: »

Pinkteapot. _ Yes its our first nhs cycle of three (hopefully we won't need all three) Ours will probably be exactly the same time. I thought it was first day that you started injections rather then day 21!! I obviously have a lot to learn!!!!

"Standard" long protocol IVF starts on CD21. There is also a short version that starts on day 2 or 3 (I think) but not sure when they use that as it wasn't mentioned to us at all.