Getting married and not telling anyone

lostinrates

, favours or something similar are quite nice, especially if you get stuck at a table for ages with nothing to eat having travelled miles and not had a chance to grab anything to eat.

If you are travelling with a hungry man they are usually starving by then. After wedding meals my DH is also looking around for somewhere to buy extra food too. . (Not the couple's fault, my husband just has hollow legs)

mumps

daisiegg wrote: »

They originate in Italy I believe (correct me anyone if I am wrong!) where guests would be given a certain number of sugared almonds in little guaze bags, each of which represented a certain thing to do with marriage Quite sweet I think (no pun intended!) and we kept with the tradition by making up little organza bags filled with heart/love themed sweets. People loved them and they all got guzzled. Everything came off Ebay for pennies

I believe they are common in many countries round the med. I was told that they were originally a fertility symbol, put a couple in some cloth and they might remind you of something.
:rotfl:A guy from North Africa told me that so it might just be that in his country. Put me off sugared almonds for life.

Gloomendoom

lostinrates wrote: »

, favours or something similar are quite nice, especially if you get stuck at a table for ages with nothing to eat having travelled miles and not had a chance to grab anything to eat.

If you are travelling with a hungry man they are usually starving by then. After wedding meals my DH is also looking around for somewhere to buy extra food too. . (Not the couple's fault, my husband just has hollow legs)

I always try to make sure that I have extra food stashed in the car when attending weddings. We once drove 3 hours to attend an evening reception assuming that there would be a buffet of some kind, to find that the only food on offer was a couple of plates of cheese and biscuits.

I had to get chips on the way home.

It was experiences like that, others where wine was measured out by the thimble and pay bars charging over £8 a pint that made us determined that were were going to have mountains of food and rivers of free booze at our wedding... even if it meant doing without chair bows and sugar coated nut sacks.

lostinrates

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I always try to make sure that I have extra food stashed in the car when attending weddings. We once drove 3 hours to attend an evening reception assuming that there would be a buffet of some kind, to find that the only food on offer was a couple of plates of cheese and biscuits.

I had to get chips on the way home.

It was experiences like that, others where wine was measured out by the thimble and pay bars charging over £8 a pint that made us determined that were were going to have mountains of food and rivers of free booze at our wedding... even if it meant doing without chair bows and sugar coated nut sacks.

Yes, we do if going by car. Tbh, we go to so few now its not a problem. . He's the same at everything, We go to something formal at his old university every year and he walks our and immediately wants food after a meal.

And we go to meals at people's homes he goes through the whole ' couldn't eat another thing' routine, gets in the car and turns to me and says' which way. To the nearest food?'. Its infuriating. . (Otoh he does have trouble eating through the week when working hard and stressed.....so its sort of all or nothing at times with him)

Georgiegirl256

Gloomendoom wrote: »

sugar coated nut sacks.

That sentence just made me :rotfl:

Cloudydaze

If any of my friends took off and married in secret, I'd be secretly pleased. There are plenty of other things I'd rather do than go to a wedding.

I've been to 25+ weddings and to be honest they are all a blur. I couldn't describe any of the dresses, the flowers, favours or chair bows, let alone the food. I doubt any of these weddings were cheap.

(However, there are 3 venues that stick in my mind as totally amazing.)

Weddings I've been to get rated on which of my friends are there too & bonus points if I actually get to sit with them - nothing worse than having to make polite conversation with cousin John!

I don't think my parents would be upset if I married in secret. They know me and know that I would hate all the fuss.

I find it odd that a parent who truly loves their child wouldn't want them to have the wedding of their choice.

redlady_1

Went to Scotland New Years Eve 2012 just the two of us. Witnesses were two waitresses in the Hotel but parents were told before we went away. Dress was a velvet evening dress I already had. Yes, we both wear rings but there wasnt a big announcement afterwards and no celebration for everyone else. People were told as and when they needed to know. I can highly recommend it. And if anyone complains afterwards then I found "if you wish to pay for a celebration then we are happy to attend" covered it.

lostinrates

Cloudydaze wrote: »

If any of my friends took off and married in secret, I'd be secretly pleased. There are plenty of other things I'd rather do than go to a wedding.

I've been to 25+ weddings and to be honest they are all a blur. I couldn't describe any of the dresses, the flowers, favours or chair bows, let alone the food. I doubt any of these weddings were cheap.

(However, there are 3 venues that stick in my mind as totally amazing.)

Weddings I've been to get rated on which of my friends are there too & bonus points if I actually get to sit with them - nothing worse than having to make polite conversation with cousin John!
.

Tbf, we don't have to go to our friends weddings!

The best one we didn't go to was a cousin of dh's. the marriage lasted ten days, Yep, ten days. For the record, I happen to know only because its family, and obviously quite a tale, that's something over three and a half thousand pounds a day of the marriage the wedding cost.

Cloudydaze

lostinrates wrote: »

Tbf, we don't have to go to our friends weddings!

Very true! But that's easier said than done. A simple 'because I don't want to' probably wouldn't go down too well! However, I'd probably book a holiday and 'be absolutely gutted I couldn't go to the wedding'...

Person_one

Cloudydaze wrote: »

If any of my friends took off and married in secret, I'd be secretly pleased. There are plenty of other things I'd rather do than go to a wedding.

I've been to 25+ weddings and to be honest they are all a blur. I couldn't describe any of the dresses, the flowers, favours or chair bows, let alone the food. I doubt any of these weddings were cheap.

There are lots of options between completely secret and alone and huge with chair bows and a 30K budget!

Weddings can tend to be a bit samey for the guests, that's ok though, as long as the couple aren't going to be gutted that nobody is still talking about the centrepieces 30 years down the line.

I think the idea that your wedding should be memorable/unique/special/different/better than the rest is responsible for a lot of the unwise spending lostinrates was talking about earlier.

A wedding is special and memorable for the couple, and for their very closest friends and family, but not really for anybody else. It will be special and memorable for those people because of the relationships involved not because of the chocolate fountain, or the string quartet or the ice sculptures.

Most weddings of ordinary people used to be pretty much the same. Ceremony in church, then a function room above a pub or at a local social/working men's type club (usually free) for a bog standard meal and the speeches, then rearrange the chairs and tables for a disco and a bit of buffet later on. Its only recently that they've started to get a bit competitive.