Getting married and not telling anyone

securityguy

daisiegg wrote: »

What is it for a Saturday?

About 350. But if you're not inviting guests, it doesn't matter, does it?

Georgiegirl256

duchy wrote: »

Obviously there are families who are distant and don't really care about each other and a wedding of a child wouldn't mean much to parents ...but that certainly wasn't how my Mum felt and my brother knew it.

I'm sorry to hear that your Mum felt bad to be excluded duchy, and it's sad to hear that she was upset by it all. But at the end of the day, even with families that are really close, is it still not your brothers overall decision on how he wanted his wedding to be?

securityguy

claire16c wrote: »

My sister is getting married soon and when she was looking at venues the prices for a sit down meal started at around £50 pp and then say £20 pp for drinks package. So around a minimum of £70, so if you had 100 guests that's £7k already gone.

Which is total madness. £140 per couple would see you having a good meal, a la carte, in a London restaurant with a Michelin star or two, not hotel food in Peterborough. Hotels see the bride coming, and the is keen to be seen coming.

mumps

securityguy wrote: »

About 350. But if you're not inviting guests, it doesn't matter, does it?

Lots of people seem to be having weddings on other days, Saturday seemed to be the main day years ago especially for big weddings but over the last few years I seem to have been invited to more non Saturday weddings than Saturdays. I assume that cost is probably the reason. From your quote it seems like you could make a useful saving by choosing another day.

lostinrates

daisiegg wrote: »

Yes, I agree with you, and I think we actually think the same thing. A couple could be stretching themselves at £500 and another couple could be not stretching themselves at £100,000... So it doesn't actually depend on the cost of the wedding, but the cost to the couple. If that makes sense...

If a couple could afford a £100,000 wedding comfortably and are both on the same page about spending that money on that, then I don't see why that would make them any more likely to divorce than a couple who spends £500, and is comfortably able to afford that and are both on the same page about spending it. As you say, the difference comes when people stretch themselves, get into debt, or are not in agreement.

Absolutely.

Now, very if you look at average uk wages, average time spent saving for house deposits, average pension provisions and average costs of weddings its easy to see that often people really are NOT wise nor provident for their future or dependants.

Its easy to look at through our own eyes, but looked at through the hard cold facts....

.yes, I am wary of being supportive in forums such as this where possibly aren't making decisions based on financial prudence or safety but rather emotional 'whim'. Very few (percentage wise) are n the financial position that for example you were in. (Again, I'm sorry to personalise this, I really hate doing that, its simply because I feel able to say yours wasn't unwise spending because you have been open about your financial position) . Others simply aren't as open and yet are told 'go ahead its your day" where as , it could cost them something off their future.

Most of the time I don't know, because he details aren't here, but I can remind them it doesn't matter. I love my husband no less because I wore a dress I knew he loved me in, and my flowers were no less special because they were free and well loved roses from our garden. And our date no less romantic because we shared it with each other.

And frankly, our lives became much easier. I'd rather have the freedom to make choice and responsibility for that than be bought to other people's choices as was happening in the 'family wedding.' :rotfl:

Edit : yes, on reflection I certainly think that to counsel caution on spending is less reckless than to counsel the 'it's your day' line if you don't know people's bottom line.

minerva_windsong

ostrichnomore wrote: »

I'm shocked how much it costs even to do a basic wedding (going beyond literally just going and doing legal side on your own). where I am it would be
register office booking fee- £55
notice of marriage - £70
marriage certificate - £4
marriage at local register office £426
That's over £500 just for the ceremony/legalities.

Are you sure you've worked that out right? I just looked on the website for the council where we're getting married and it says:

Some fees are set nationally by the Registrar General and are currently £35 each for giving notice. The fee to marry at a Register Office in England or Wales is £49 (£45 + £4 for certificate).

So that's a total of £119.

If the registrar is going to an approved venue it costs a few hundred pounds (ours is £550 but we're getting married on a Saturday in an expensive area - a weekday would be a lot cheaper) which I think is what you've put down as the register office marriage fee? I know some registry offices also have slightly nicer rooms that you can book but looking at our local council and the council where we're getting married these are about £200-300 - and I think that includes the £45 to get married at the registry office...

sjprmc01

My wedding dress cost me £62 new with a £7 delivery charge. I saw my dream dress (50s style tea length) and looked for it. I saw someone was selling their used one on ebay for £800 so......it must have been expensive in the first place


I then took a huge risk and bought one from China from ebay I am extremely pleased with my dress it's very well made I expected it to be cheap made but for a dress I will wear once I wasn't bothered as long as it looked right, but no, it's almost the same quality of the expensive ones. I'm glad I took the risk, but obv it doesn't always pay off like that

Oh and it arrived much sooner than expected also!

The dresses I've bought for my kids to wear to it (again from china) were more expensive lol. At 69.99 but I was finding it really difficult to get something niche in the colour I wanted for them

catkins

I can't believe how much caterers charge per head for a meal - what on earth does the meal consist of?


I don't even know what "favours" are - I guess they are one of the many completely unnecessary rip offs like chair bows.

daisiegg

catkins wrote: »

I can't believe how much caterers charge per head for a meal - what on earth does the meal consist of?


I don't even know what "favours" are - I guess they are one of the many completely unnecessary rip offs like chair bows.

They originate in Italy I believe (correct me anyone if I am wrong!) where guests would be given a certain number of sugared almonds in little guaze bags, each of which represented a certain thing to do with marriage Quite sweet I think (no pun intended!) and we kept with the tradition by making up little organza bags filled with heart/love themed sweets. People loved them and they all got guzzled. Everything came off Ebay for pennies

Armchair23

'CHAIR BOWS' good grief I've almost hit retirement age and I never
knew I'd missed out on 'chair bows'

You most certainly live and learn :rotfl: