Boyfriend bought me a ring but won't let me have it

thorsoak

paulineb wrote: »

I think only a complete divvy would buy someone else an engagement ring and get his partner to try it on and keep it in their home.

I think that only a complete divvy would be with her OH of XX years whilst he bought an "engagement ring", tried it on for size - and then not be put in possession of the ring!

What are they both playing at? Is he keeping it in his toolbox for when she proves her worth???? If she know where it is, why does she not wear it?? And which bank account did the money to pay for it come from? Joint? His own? Joint credit card? His credit card??

The whole picture leaves more questions than answers! And leaves me uneasy!

Gloomendoom

Maybe he's just worried she will say no.

Georgiegirl256

I wonder if he's turned his xbox off and had a conversation yet?

paulineb_2

If you read the OPs posts from other threads, shes posted about seeing other people getting engaged and having a conversation with her partner about it.

Its clear that she wants to get married very much. He may not and may have felt pushed into getting the ring. The way the opening post said that they were looking at rings, did they go specifically to look at an engagement ring that day, or were they in the shop for something else and he felt he had to buy one as she was trying it on.

Who knows, maybe he needs to man up and grow a pair but its possible he doesnt want to get married at all and he feels that he has to because its what she wants.

Milliebob

Wow so many responses. Some of them quite harsh but I was expecting that when I posted.

To clear a couple of things up, people seem I have the impression that I've been nagging my OH about this constantly. I haven't. Like I said I didn't mention it at all until after New Years Eve, when he'd had it for three months, and then again this weekend, which is what prompted me to post here. The sex thing is annoying me, I don't think our sex lives is anybody's business but ours but it would have been pretty dumb of me to withhold sex until he proposed without actually telling him that's what I was doing!
And finally I seem to have created the impression that I'm a 'Bridezilla' but the wedding we have planned in our heads is actually a registry office affair with only our parents and siblings. And our DS of course.

ANYWAY I just wanted to update those of you who might be interested in our conversation last night. It went very well I think and I'm feeling better for it. I asked if when he'd bought the ring had I pressure him into and he felt he couldn't say no, to which he responded that no he didn't feel pressured but wasn't expecting the finance to be approved, so he didn't expect that day to be coming home with a ring. I asked if he regretted buying it and he said no, that he's glad he has it now for when the time is right, which he doesn't think it was when he bought it. He said he was 99% going to do it on Christmas Day but didn't for whatever reason, and then he said he should have done it on New Years Eve with hindsight.
I've told him I won't mention it again and I'll just leave him to it, an I'm happy with that decision, I slept better last night anyway.

lostinrates

If I were her I'd never mention it again.


When its offered and the question asked, I'd smile politely and say, kindly, ' I'm going to think very seriously about what this means for us.


And give him a couple of days.


Fwiw, DH and I had talked about it, and I know the question was still a big deal for him. But perhaps that's because I'm the sort of woman who might have made him wait.....rofl.

Buzzybee90

Milliebob wrote: »

Wow so many responses. Some of them quite harsh but I was expecting that when I posted.

To clear a couple of things up, people seem I have the impression that I've been nagging my OH about this constantly. I haven't. Like I said I didn't mention it at all until after New Years Eve, when he'd had it for three months, and then again this weekend, which is what prompted me to post here. The sex thing is annoying me, I don't think our sex lives is anybody's business but ours but it would have been pretty dumb of me to withhold sex until he proposed without actually telling him that's what I was doing!
And finally I seem to have created the impression that I'm a 'Bridezilla' but the wedding we have planned in our heads is actually a registry office affair with only our parents and siblings. And our DS of course.

ANYWAY I just wanted to update those of you who might be interested in our conversation last night. It went very well I think and I'm feeling better for it. I asked if when he'd bought the ring had I pressure him into and he felt he couldn't say no, to which he responded that no he didn't feel pressured but wasn't expecting the finance to be approved, so he didn't expect that day to be coming home with a ring. I asked if he regretted buying it and he said no, that he's glad he has it now for when the time is right, which he doesn't think it was when he bought it. He said he was 99% going to do it on Christmas Day but didn't for whatever reason, and then he said he should have done it on New Years Eve with hindsight.
I've told him I won't mention it again and I'll just leave him to it, an I'm happy with that decision, I slept better last night anyway.

As I suspected! Ignore the harsh responses, I'm not sure what sort of lives some of the FMs have, going by their suggestions!

AcidHouse

Milliebob wrote: »

Wow so many responses. Some of them quite harsh but I was expecting that when I posted.

To clear a couple of things up, people seem I have the impression that I've been nagging my OH about this constantly. I haven't. Like I said I didn't mention it at all until after New Years Eve, when he'd had it for three months, and then again this weekend, which is what prompted me to post here. The sex thing is annoying me, I don't think our sex lives is anybody's business but ours but it would have been pretty dumb of me to withhold sex until he proposed without actually telling him that's what I was doing!
And finally I seem to have created the impression that I'm a 'Bridezilla' but the wedding we have planned in our heads is actually a registry office affair with only our parents and siblings. And our DS of course.

ANYWAY I just wanted to update those of you who might be interested in our conversation last night. It went very well I think and I'm feeling better for it. I asked if when he'd bought the ring had I pressure him into and he felt he couldn't say no, to which he responded that no he didn't feel pressured but wasn't expecting the finance to be approved, so he didn't expect that day to be coming home with a ring.I asked if he regretted buying it and he said no, that he's glad he has it now for when the time is right, which he doesn't think it was when he bought it. He said he was 99% going to do it on Christmas Day but didn't for whatever reason, and then he said he should have done it on New Years Eve with hindsight.
I've told him I won't mention it again and I'll just leave him to it, an I'm happy with that decision, I slept better last night anyway.

He didn't expect the finance to go through.... hasn't been saving for a ring then?
He's glad he has it now for when the time is right....
Should have done it on NYE with hindsight (did he not know that NYE was coming up?!)

Christmas & New Years have nothing to do with this situation. He has 365 days this year to pick from to give you that ring. If I sound harsh it's because I believe he's fobbing you off, but at the end of the day only you know from his reactions and the way he treats you whether or not he is going to get married to you, or if that ring will forever remain in the toolbox while he plays on his xbox.

victory

Milliebob wrote: »

Wow so many responses. Some of them quite harsh but I was expecting that when I posted.

To clear a couple of things up, people seem I have the impression that I've been nagging my OH about this constantly. I haven't. Like I said I didn't mention it at all until after New Years Eve, when he'd had it for three months, and then again this weekend, which is what prompted me to post here. The sex thing is annoying me, I don't think our sex lives is anybody's business but ours but it would have been pretty dumb of me to withhold sex until he proposed without actually telling him that's what I was doing!
And finally I seem to have created the impression that I'm a 'Bridezilla' but the wedding we have planned in our heads is actually a registry office affair with only our parents and siblings. And our DS of course.

ANYWAY I just wanted to update those of you who might be interested in our conversation last night. It went very well I think and I'm feeling better for it. I asked if when he'd bought the ring had I pressure him into and he felt he couldn't say no, to which he responded that no he didn't feel pressured but wasn't expecting the finance to be approved, so he didn't expect that day to be coming home with a ring. I asked if he regretted buying it and he said no, that he's glad he has it now for when the time is right, which he doesn't think it was when he bought it. He said he was 99% going to do it on Christmas Day but didn't for whatever reason, and then he said he should have done it on New Years Eve with hindsight.
I've told him I won't mention it again and I'll just leave him to it, an I'm happy with that decision, I slept better last night anyway.

you brought up the sex thing, it started off with a ring...:D

burnoutbabe

what on earth is he waiting for?

You discussed buying a ring, you bought the ring, you are engaged. (I was asked if i would like him to buy me a ring for my birthday, i said yes and that was it, we were engaged - even if we formally announced it to everyone else a while later with cheapie ring bought for it).

If he said he was waiting for "the right time to propose" after that, I'd have said its now or never. An engagement is just the time to plan marriage after all, it doesn't mean you ARE married, just you are happy to be both heading that way and making plans.