Boyfriend bought me a ring but won't let me have it

ska_lover

Milliebob wrote: »

I don't think our sex lives is anybody's business but ours.

Stop posting about it then:rotfl:

pops5588

Good grief. I do think you both need to grow up slightly. He applied for finance thinking he wouldn't be approved?? Nothing like a dent in your credit rating to get the wedding plans going...

You first mentioned the sex thing, then said it was down to lack of birth control, now apparently that isn't true again. Who knows, I give up. It's monday evening and I'm knackered. Good luck, I am suddenly feeling very appreciative for my straight-forward boyfriend. Please someone remind me of this if I ever complain :P

jellyhead

Maybe he's waiting for the finance to be paid off before he gives it to you?

System

I don't understand. Why would you go into debt for something and hide it tool box under the sink?

Adrenalina

Maybe the asking is actually really important to HIM. Maybe it's a big deal, and he wants it to be special. Maybe he's realised that once he's asked this train is going to keep going and he isn't just quite ready to get on it yet.
Whatever the reason, I think your conversation went as well as could be expected and it sounds as if you were both honest and calm.
And if you feel better now, great. Good luck for the future. We had a tiny wedding with just our parents at the registrar and it was perfect!

Pollycat

Milliebob wrote: »

The sex thing is annoying me, I don't think our sex lives is anybody's business but ours but it would have been pretty dumb of me to withhold sex until he proposed without actually telling him that's what I was doing!

He said he was 99% going to do it on Christmas Day but didn't for whatever reason, and then he said he should have done it on New Years Eve with hindsight.

Milliebob wrote: »

I tried that over Christmas and didn't 'put out' for six weeks. He was in a FOUL mood last weekend and I thought it might change his mind so I gave in. Didn't work.

Of course your sex life is your business but you brought it into the discussion in the first place, didn't you!

And I know you've said it was supposed be a way to lighten up the thread :rotfl:after a number of posters commented on you not 'putting out'.

But I find it a tad coincidental that you weren't 'putting out' over Christmas and New Year and that's when he was going to propose but didn't.

I hope it all works out for you.

January20

Person_one wrote: »

Well, I can only speak for myself, but I'd agree to live with someone because there's no way in hell I'd be getting married to somebody I'd never shared a bathroom or the chores with! Living together before marriage makes a lot of sense.

Well, in the past I would have agreed with you 100%. Personally, I would do this too, but I have no wish to ever marry again, but since I've started reading more about the topic, it is quite clear to me that living with somebody doesn't make the relationship stronger or last longer and people - mostly women it seems - are still putting up with the other person's bad habit and, worse, accepting them because it's very difficult to change another person, mould them into the perfect housemate, iyswim? So if a woman (or man's wish) ultimately is to get married, they need to think carefully about it and perhaps decide not to live with their partner before hand and not to have children with them certainly.

I've had another thought. The OP said that their child was a "happy accident" and that both her and her partner want another child but she told him she won't do it until they are married. I am wondering if the partner really wants another child? I wonder if the partner is scared of telling her what he really wants? What he doesn't want?

paulineb_2

I'm not sure it's the best idea to have one child and then say no more until we are married. If I were the bf I'd be feeling under quite a lot of pressure if that were the case.

burnoutbabe

Under pressure? to show commitment before bringing another child into a relationship? to want legal and financial protection for that child?

Yes, evil woman!

I'm still confused by he will ask her when "the time is right" so really that could be never? Give him say 3 months and then tell him you want to start planning a wedding on date X and so can you have the ring.

This_Year

I'm not sure that I would want to be with someone who showed such lack of consideration for my feelings. The ring has been bought (on finance) and has been stuffed under the sink. Nice.

I'll bet that he's enjoying watching her going mad while he plays his games. Both electronic and mind.