Male Approaching 40 still trying to find "the one"

paulineb_2

Some women in their 40s arent married or have kids, 30s as well, but to be honest I think if you do have a list of things you are specifically looking for, you might be looking a long time. One of my exes got married for the second time in his early 40s, he was married, divorced and married again between the ages of 38 and 44, his wife is in her 30s and theyve got a kid. I dont know how he met her, I bumped into one of his mates a few years ago at christmas and given that she lived a few hundred miles away, I would presume they probably met online.

Some men dont want to date women who dont have kids. I dont but the last person I dated was wary of me because I dont have kids, said that we wouldnt have that shared experience, he hardly saw his kids but it was big deal to him. I do think a lot of men in their 40s and 50s on dating sites are looking for women a lot younger, but being in your 40s on a dating site can be a hard place to be for a female, you'll get 20 somethings trying their luck and people over 60 the same. Well until POF brought out this rule I think that people cant message someone over 15 years younger and I believe older.

Im single and fine with it which is fine as Ive been single a long time with a few short relationships in between.

The problem I think with some internet dating sites is that it does attract a few weird and wonderful people and in the end you would settle for someone who isnt terminally unhinged and thats where I decided, Im talking a break.

Pinch of salt as I said before, enjoy the experience if you can, if you meet someone, great, if not then just get on with enjoying your life.

[Deleted User]

Yes I agree Springdreams.
Ive been on the a dating site a couple of months. I came off it and went back on there because I did meet someone. Unfortuantely the character he portrayed on his profile didn't match up to what he was really like.


That's why now.. If they don't want the chat.. I pass them by. Because for me its now about getting to know about them before I meet and that doesn't happen after half a dozen messages for me. Which I did do before. I haven't met anyone this time round yet, but ive been chatting to a few and have arranged to meet two of them after 3 to 5 weeks of texting and a few phone calls in between.

meritaten

ImDoingItForMe wrote: »

Im on online dating and I do like the banter as you say, but by that I mean that I do like to chat and get to know a bit of background first.
Being female and over 40, I agree with a few poster on here. That I would like to meet someone but im quite happy single and want to take my time in meeting the right man.
By which I mean having a good chat on a day to day basis whether it be messaging or texting and the odd phone call.
Some men not all I might add, just say Hi Babe then that's not going to grab my attention and neither is giving out there number within a few messages.
I too am on the female end of this. Im trying to find a nice man, solvent, older children or children that has left home. Who has a job and not necessarily making me split my sides with laughter but who has a sence of humour..
Hey who knows... it might me my year..

Have you thought of PMing the OP? sounds a good match to me...............:)

[Deleted User]

meritaten wrote: »

Have you thought of PMing the OP? sounds a good match to me...............:)

That's dependant on where the op lives. As that's another factor in the minefield of internet dating lol along with a pic, height, weight, and inside leg measurement lol... and the list goes on......

meritaten

ImDoingItForMe wrote: »

That's dependant on where the op lives. As that's another factor in the minefield of internet dating lol along with a pic, height, weight, and inside leg measurement lol... and the list goes on......

lol - oh go on - I double dare you!:rotfl:

because when you come right down to it - its minds that matter not inside leg measurements!

NWOIHTS

springdreams wrote: »

I think you are going to find it fairly difficult to find a woman in her 30s - early 40s who isn't divorced, and even harder to find one who doesn't have children.

But perhaps you are looking at women in their 20s?

Yes but there are still ones out there. And no not really looking at ones in their 20s, 27-30 maybe, if they were mature - like me you understand

NWOIHTS

meritaten wrote: »

Have you thought of PMing the OP? sounds a good match to me...............:)

I've no kids is the only thing, she wanted someone with kids or left home kids.

beverley1471

Well i'm a 36 year old widow who recently thought it would be nice to meet someone new and find a new relationship. So I signed up for online dating as I wasn't sure how else to meet men having not dated since I was 22. Well the only interest I seem to have had is from young men who want to be my toyboy, men a lot older or foreigners, not terribly realistic dating potential. Oh and lots of married men who's wifes don't understand them, like i'd fall for that. Where are the nice men my age? not online dating it would seem.

I have been rather disapointed so far, but I will stick with the online dating for a while longer, as you never know! I may have to learn how to flirt and find out where single men my age hang out!

dandelionclock30

I've said this before on here, I think a person has more chance of meeting someone decent for a friendship or a relationship through doing things. Obviously you have to have some interest in what you are doing but then at least you are meeting people without any expectations etc.
Also cast your net far and wide because you will eventually dredge something up I think.LOL.

Person_one

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

Also cast your net far and wide because you will eventually dredge something up I think.LOL.

Magnificent turn of phrase!

If I wasn't already quite content flying solo, this thread would have definitely convinced me. :rotfl: