Male Approaching 40 still trying to find "the one"

keith969

Well when my ex left I tried Match and didn't have any problems meeting people. Have a chat online, by all means, but try and have a meeting somewhere in a safe zone (like pub or restaurant half way between you) as online conversations never match real ones where you can get the body language, which P ersonally feel is so important. And comments/compliments always work - e.g 'like your green eyes', 'like the highlights in your hair' - they show you notice. Women basically like to talk to people who enjoy listening to them and not try to butt in every minute and change the topic. At least that's been my experience!

supermum38 wrote: »

Just caught up. I'm a single female just over 40.

I would respond to any man who either gave me a compliment or comment on something (what I'm doing or where I am)relevant. Either in person or online. I see men look at me but they don't say anything.

'hi' just won't do it. It's not banter we're after it's someone who can have a conversation. Ask: Do you read much? Have you got a hobby?


BUT a compliment always wins. Try it. Then tell all the men, so hopefully someone will try it on me!
Have you lived here long?

FBaby

BUT a compliment always wins

The first thing I told my husband at our first date after the Hi, how are you? was 'your picture really do you justice'. It was meant as a compliment and thankfully, it prompted him to say 'neither does yours' and we took it as a mutual compliment and laughed at the fact that it could have been interpreted differently by people with a different sense of humour to ours. That certainly broke the ice from the start.

paulineb_2

keith969 wrote: »

Well when my ex left I tried Match and didn't have any problems meeting people. Have a chat online, by all means, but try and have a meeting somewhere in a safe zone (like pub or restaurant half way between you) as online conversations never match real ones where you can get the body language, which P ersonally feel is so important. And comments/compliments always work - e.g 'like your green eyes', 'like the highlights in your hair' - they show you notice. Women basically like to talk to people who enjoy listening to them and not try to butt in every minute and change the topic. At least that's been my experience!

Id find it a bit bizarre if someone decided to comment on my highlights on a date, I mean its something I might expect someone I was in a relationship to say, but on a date, not so much.

keith969

paulineb wrote: »

Id find it a bit bizarre if someone decided to comment on my highlights on a date, I mean its something I might expect someone I was in a relationship to say, but on a date, not so much.

It wasn't the first date

Edit: and she also appreciated it, so I guess not two people are equal.

horsewhisperer_2

I can sympathise as I am early 30s and have the same problem!


No advice really - just don't think it's something about "you": it isn't. It's just a funny age for meeting people as I tend to find most people have settled down with someone but haven't yet reached the divorcing stage, either!

System

Lol my "first date" with my bf who I met on POF didn't involve a whole lot of talking, though we'd spent the week previous to meeting talking non stop and we started going out within hours of meeting

Other dates previous to that (though I only had 2 :eek: ) involved talking about music/popular culture/tv/games/films etc, well one did. The other I made the mistake of going to the cinema with and never heard from him after that.

NWOIHTS

Just seen one profile on match it started by saying:

I am the most amazing person you will ever meet

!!!!!! talk about inflated self ego - good luck!

Barny1979

Maybe it was said with a bit of tongue in cheek?

paulineb_2

NWOIHTS wrote: »

Just seen one profile on match it started by saying:



!!!!!! talk about inflated self ego - good luck!

Well just as well you never read mine. :rotfl:

Actually, a lot of people dont read profiles, judging by the messages I used to get, was clear they hadnt read a word of it.

Hermia

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Seems to have worked pretty well for me.


Well, that and old films.




One of my mates, when I told him DD's opening line is 'Marvel or DC?' says that if a woman his age asked him that question, he'd be planning the proposal - and if she followed it up with 'Les Paul or Fender?' and 'the Wildhearts or Floyd?', he'd be booking the register office.


It's finding somebody who 'gets you'. You're less likely to find that in a generic environment. Go where your interests lie and you'll be more likely to meet more friends and somebody special.

I love talking about movies or music (or any other interest) because it can tell you a lot about the person without needing to ask them personal questions. I once had a long chat about movies with this guy and it made me realise we would never get on...

Firstly, he snorted & rolled his eyes when he heard what sort of films I liked. I love people who are non-judgemental and open to new experiences.

Secondly, he couldn't understand why I liked foreign films and when I said I love learning about other cultures he looked blank.

Thirdly, he only watched mainstream Hollywood films and couldn't understand why I would watch non-famous actors in small films. I spend a lot of time seeking out non-mainstream cultural experiences so I could see us struggling to find things to do together.

As the conversation continued some of my first impressions were confirmed. He probably didn't realise how much he gave away. On the other hand the guy who started asking me about obscure classic horror films during the interval of a movie definitely got my attention!