Male Approaching 40 still trying to find "the one"

SailorSam

NWOIHTS wrote: »

So what's some things to say on dating sites, what would you like to be asked to start a convo? I try many different things but usually get no replies.

It use to get me down on PoF that i'd taken the time to write a chatty message, not just Hi or Wanna Chat, but so many never even came back to say thanks-but-no-thanks.
Then i went into the Forum section there on PoF and the one topic that keeps coming up over and over again is how poor profiles are and how inconsiderate people you write to are. Everyone complains both men and women.
So it's not just you Op (or me),
It seems whether you're male or female you're in for a lot of disappointment before you hit the jackpot, all i can suggest is keep trying and try to make each one realise it's not just a copy & paste email, read her profile and make it special to her.

Person_one

Laurajo wrote: »

The 'no drama queens' thing would make me think there is a psychologically disturbed ex in the background or that you have already been burned so badly before in a relationship that you're going to be hard work.

I think 'no drama queens' usually means 'no women who have too many opinions or too much self esteem'.

supermum38

Just caught up. I'm a single female just over 40.

I would respond to any man who either gave me a compliment or comment on something (what I'm doing or where I am)relevant. Either in person or online. I see men look at me but they don't say anything.

'hi' just won't do it. It's not banter we're after it's someone who can have a conversation. Ask: Do you read much? Have you got a hobby?


BUT a compliment always wins. Try it. Then tell all the men, so hopefully someone will try it on me!
Have you lived here long?

Seanymph

NWOIHTS wrote: »

Fine things - I mean having a nice day out or visiting or travelling in the countryside and visiting interesting places, or a nice meal in a restaurant things like that.

To me these aren't the 'finer things in life' and I would find that you thought they were strange.

That's 'normal'.

Finer is fine dining, art history, extensive travelling, a complete wine buff - liking the 'finer things' generally on dating sites has transpired to be snobby people with no money but aspirations - and I learnt to be put off by the phrase.

I would say 'normal' things, enjoying good food well cooked in a nice environment, seeing new things and trying new experiences.

Not 'finer things' - the readers will assume you are called Harry, laugh like a horse and own a failing estate agency, drinking too much red wine and shouting 'don't we darling' regularly whilst taking great swats at their bottoms.

NWOIHTS

Person_one wrote: »

I think 'no drama queens' usually means 'no women who have too many opinions or too much self esteem'.

Got it in one

CC-Warrior

May I also suggest, if this hasn't already been said already - join a dating site where people have more of an investment in it, i.e. a paid one. You can get a good cashback deal on match.com where the people might take it a bit more seriously as they've paid for it!

NWOIHTS

Seanymph wrote: »

To me these aren't the 'finer things in life' and I would find that you thought they were strange.

That's 'normal'.

Finer is fine dining, art history, extensive travelling, a complete wine buff - liking the 'finer things' generally on dating sites has transpired to be snobby people with no money but aspirations - and I learnt to be put off by the phrase.

I would say 'normal' things, enjoying good food well cooked in a nice environment, seeing new things and trying new experiences.

Not 'finer things' - the readers will assume you are called Harry, laugh like a horse and own a failing estate agency, drinking too much red wine and shouting 'don't we darling' regularly whilst taking great swats at their bottoms.

Got it drop the finer things !

I suppose what it is is monkey see monkey do, see a lot of other profiles saying similar things to this so just copy it.

And no I wouldn't jump off a cliff if everyone else was doing it

CC-Warrior

Might be worth a read.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-25636342

an9i77

lostinrates wrote: »

I miss dating. . In general I don't think we are good at dating in uk but I loved it. The worst thing about being married is no more dates.

I don't miss it at all. I always hated dating. I was never any good at it, hardly got any second dates and hated having to meet strangers and being judged (that's what it felt like anyway). Interestingly, if I'd met my partner on an internet site and gone on a first date I doubt it would have gone any further. We're both shy and have little in common (except that) But strangely it works!
I'd pretty much given up on dating sites (and men) before I met my partner. I know it's a clich!, but the old if you stop looking it'll happen thing worked for me.

Seanymph

See I loved it - and met some fantastic people, but quite a few Harry's.....