Male Approaching 40 still trying to find "the one"

newcook

NWOIHTS wrote: »

Do you ever ask them if they have what you are looking for just in case you are making a rash assumption?

No because usually on their profile it already covers a lot of it such as height, if they have/want kids, if I find them attractive (both looks and build) etc.
As for a ‘rash decision’ I already know that if they are an obese, heavily tattooed, heavy metal rock fan with long hair, that I wont find them attractive and wont have much in common with them.
Same way that if they say they hate children and never want them – no point in starting anything with them as I want to have children. Why waste their time and mine?!

I like the profiles where they have took the time to write something about themselves rather than ‘ask and I’ll tell’ - it shows they can be bothered to put effort into things and gives a little insight to if they have similar interests.

Justin121

Im in a siular position and have got nowhere using plenty of fish.

Does anyone know if the website sesile.com is genuine or scam?

I have considered using it but dont know if its genuine?

dandelionclock30

In my opinion people are better off meeting people by doing things e.g sports, interests etc than dating sites.
I wouldnt want someone who was actively looking for a partner myself.

prowla

NWOIHTS wrote: »

Hi Guys and gals

Is it just me or is becoming nigh on impossible to find a suitable partner now? I am not tarring women or men here but I am finding a lot of the opposite sex just don't seem to be interested unless you can put someone in hospital with split sides from laughing at your banter, and/or you have that arrogant streak but with a James Bond wry slime.

Tell you what it is I am a happy easy going guy and just like to sail along and take things as they come, but this isn't enough it seems, I have to be a full time entertainer, adventurous to the max, and be caring and a gentleman all at the same time! :think:

For me I know what I am and I am not going to put on a fake act to pretend I am someone I am not. I am happy with the way I am but I find it strange people seem to have such high expectations when it comes to dating.

So guys please share with me your stories as I'd love to think it is not just me seeing this in the dating arenas now. How do you find the dates you are meeting? And from women can you tell me why you require men to be so full of banter all the time, is this really necessary for life, love and procreation?

I know you girls will say no but we don't all like guys with a cheeky banter and arrogant side but what I see on the streets tells me a very different story!

Over and out!

N

Well, I'm in my 50s, sometimes make my kids snigger, am a 2nd dan karate black belt, am member of a gun club, play the guitar, am not a bad cook, earn what many would call a decent salary, and drive a BMW.

Despite all of that, I managed to find someone.

Cloudydaze

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

In my opinion people are better off meeting people by doing things e.g sports, interests etc than dating sites.
I wouldnt want someone who was actively looking for a partner myself.

And what's wrong with actively looking for a partner?!

However, for me clubs aren't the solution...
I belong to a running club which has a lot more men than women. I am aware of several affairs that have gone on or continue to go on. Most involve married men and single women. I don't disagree that clubs and shared activities are a good way of meeting people but it's not always obvious who is available & looking, not available but looking or available but not looking - it's a minefield.

There's no ambiguity with a dating site. I want someone who is ready for a relationship and actively looking!

Domayne

Haaaaave you met NWOIHTS?

heh - Get a wingman?

I'm nearly 30 and have never even been on a 'real' date
I've had a few long term relationships but they have all been friends of friends or met at work and it started with just 'hanging out' then we just sort of fell in to relationships
I think I'd feel kind of awkward going on a 'date' with someone that I didn't know. Maybe I'm weird though

Gloomendoom

prowla wrote: »

Well, I'm in my 50s, sometimes make my kids snigger, am a 2nd dan karate black belt, am member of a gun club, play the guitar, am not a bad cook, earn what many would call a decent salary, and drive a BMW.

Despite all of that, I managed to find someone.

I bet you lied about your car though.

prowla

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I bet you lied about your car though.

You're right - I actually have two BMWs.

dandelionclock30

Cloudydaze wrote: »

And what's wrong with actively looking for a partner?!

However, for me clubs aren't the solution...
I belong to a running club which has a lot more men than women. I am aware of several affairs that have gone on or continue to go on. Most involve married men and single women. I don't disagree that clubs and shared activities are a good way of meeting people but it's not always obvious who is available & looking, not available but looking or available but not looking - it's a minefield.

There's no ambiguity with a dating site. I want someone who is ready for a relationship and actively looking!

Actively looking for a partner can come across as a person being desperate. I prefer people who can be fine by themselves and only want to go out with someone if they meet someone really special. Online dating is like if someone doesnt match up then just advertise again like for a plumber or handyman. To me I would find it really hollow.

A good tip for a 40 year old man who wants a date would be to look for a woman who is around the same age as you. Younger women in their early 20s will only go out with you for if you are either rich or you have something they want. End of.

Gloomendoom

prowla wrote: »

You're right - I actually have two BMWs.

Oh dear. Have you considered counselling?