Sensitive first post

Tiredandstressed_3

In response to all the posts;
They offered me 3 options:
1. The pill thing, I decided against this as it seems very prolonged and traumatic ( blood clots an heavy bleeding for 2-3 weeks)
2. Local into the cervix and vacuum (sorry) which they could do at the clinic
Or
3. General at a hospital miles and miles away from where I live.
I decided on option 2 as the best option for me as I must work the following day.


To the poster who commente that if I wasn't a troll I would realise how abortion threads generally go. As I have. Not been in this situation I haven't actually been on this board. As I have said previously I am in debt so have mainly frequented the dfw board and cc and loan forum.

moneyistooshorttomention

Tiredandstressed wrote: »

If I kept it how would we cope? I'm the main earner in our house so couldn't afford a drop in wages. Let's say I took 6 weeks of maternity.
What then?
After the 6 weeks? We could lose the house and put the 2 children we have got out of a home.

That's it in a nutshell. Your first duty is to the children you already have and it wouldn't be fair to them to put them in financial jeopardy.

I imagine your thoughts are turning sometimes towards wondering what you would decide if finances weren't a consideration. That is understandable. But it is what it is and your finances (and your husbands and your two childrens) ARE a consideration and if you cant afford it you cant afford it.

If you're going to feel angry, then feel angry at the contraceptive precaution/s that let you down like this by not doing "their job" properly.

Don't let a "trick of fate" decide your life for you. Its YOUR life and shouldn't be at the whim of "fate".

Tiredandstressed_3

Also to the poster who posted the scan image.
I I'd not see a heartbeat. It was the realisation that a real thing is inside me and I could see the image on the print out which made me waver.

springdreams

Tiredandstressed wrote: »

If I kept it how would we cope? I'm the main earner in our house so couldn't afford a drop in wages. Let's say I took 6 weeks of maternity.
What then?
After the 6 weeks? We could lose the house and put the 2 children we have got out of a home.

I would have thought you would get full maternity pay for the 6 weeks?

It it not mandatory to take full maternity leave. It is possible to take a few weeks, then return to work, and place the baby with a child minder.

That said, if you truly do not want this baby, the decision is yours alone to make.

fluffnutter

panagia wrote: »

fluffnutter is trolling this thread, not the OP.

You need to separate two issues.

1) I'm sceptical about whether the OP is genuine. A number of reasons make me think this - discrepancies in a couple of posts, contentious subject matter, 'new' poster using an alias, the fact that she's had a scan which is very unusual if a wanted pregnancy and certainly not routinely offered by abortion clinics, the fact that she talks about 'vacuum' when drugs would be more usual, etc. etc. Some will be equally cynical, some won't and will think me heartless. Whatever - we're all entitled to an opinion.

2) I posted about studies that have found that the majority of women don't regret having an abortion - a completely valid point given what's being discussed. Because this isn't your experience you've become semi-hysterical and decided I'm a troll. You also then, irrelevantly, start banging on about the first point (that I'm sceptical). Others have managed to disagree with me on that point without being so ridiculous and 'reporting' me or other equally childish behaviour.

You need to take a step back and realise that despite what you think, I'm merely expressing my views reasonably politely. I think you should wind it in a bit frankly.

Tiredandstressed_3

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

That's it in a nutshell. Your first duty is to the children you already have and it wouldn't be fair to them to put them in financial jeopardy.

I imagine your thoughts are turning sometimes towards wondering what you would decide if finances weren't a consideration. That is understandable. But it is what it is and your finances (and your husbands and your two childrens) ARE a consideration and if you cant afford it you cant afford it.

If you're going to feel angry, then feel angry at the contraceptive precaution/s that let you down like this by not doing "their job" properly.

Don't let a "trick of fate" decide your life for you. Its YOUR life and shouldn't be at the whim of "fate".

Thank you. This has been the most helpful post and as I sit here crying my eyes out you have summed up my situation to a T.
I know this is the right decision for us it's just traumatic that I have found myself in this horrible predicament.

moneyistooshorttomention

Another thing is I would be absolutely furious in your position at that health worker that was so manipulative as to show you that ultrasound image.

It was none of their business and they had absolutely no right to try and be so manipulative and hope they would be playing on your emotions.

DO report them. I don't suppose you are the first person they did that too....but make darn sure you ARE the last one. You don't want them doing that to anyone else and trying to manipulate them as well.

Tiredandstressed_3

Fluffnutter. You have your views and are entitled to your opinion. The scan was a probe to determined dates so they could advise on the procedure. It wasn't a traditional stomach scan as the feotus is too small at this stage to be picked up.
She didn't show me it on the screen just on a print out.
If my posts have seemed contradictory then I apologise ( I don't think they have) I am a little bit emotional as I'm sure you can understand.
The alias is for obvious reasons! I 'know' people on the other boards and this isn't somehing I wish to broadcast in that way.
Anon allows me to get my feelings out. Also my usual username automatically logs me in on my home computer which hubby and kids use so I'm doin this on my phone.

Torry_Quine

Presuming that this is real I will just say that it is for her to make the decision but must be as sure as possible about the decision either way as she will live with the possible consequences whatever she decides.

It's not an easy thing to have to think about and emotional black-mail is not appropriate.

System

Bazey wrote: »

You could always sell the baby. Put it on ebay.

Not funny.:mad: