Sensitive first post

newcook

While I agree its unusual for the clinic to show the scan, they do need to carry one out to make sure that there is a fetus and that it is in the right area (rather than ectopic) – they wont carry out any procedure without this. As far as I am aware, they also wont carry one out without being able to see a heartbeat.

OP - as others have said, you have to do what you feel is right. do not let anyone make the decision for you

fluffnutter

Tiredandstressed wrote: »

Fluffnutter. You have your views and are entitled to your opinion. The scan was a probe to determined dates so they could advise on the procedure. It wasn't a traditional stomach scan as the feotus is too small at this stage to be picked up.
She didn't show me it on the screen just on a print out.
If my posts have seemed contradictory then I apologise ( I don't think they have) I am a little bit emotional as I'm sure you can understand.
The alias is for obvious reasons! I 'know' people on the other boards and this isn't somehing I wish to broadcast in that way.
Anon allows me to get my feelings out. Also my usual username automatically logs me in on my home computer which hubby and kids use so I'm doin this on my phone.

Like others have said, no need to justify yourself to me. It makes no difference what I think and I'm sure you've got plenty of support from this thread. Perhaps even from the studies about not regretting abortion

fluffnutter

newcook wrote: »

While I agree its unusual for the clinic to show the scan, they do need to carry one out to make sure that there is a fetus and that it is in the right area (rather than ectopic) – they wont carry out any procedure without this. As far as I am aware, they also wont carry one out without being able to see a heartbeat.

Are you sure about this? I don't know of anyone who's had an abortion who had to have a scan first, myself included. It was many years ago though. Perhaps things have changed.

moneyistooshorttomention

fluffnutter wrote: »

Are you sure about this? I don't know of anyone who's had an abortion who had to have a scan first, myself included. It was many years ago though. Perhaps things have changed.

I've never been in that position, but it makes sense to me that they would want to check for sure and certain that there is a pregnancy there/the location of it/size (to help gauge how many weeks "gone"). I would think that, in this litigious day and age, they are "covering their backs" by doing this more than anything and wanting proof as to the exact state of play so that they can say that they did things by the book (well, apart from that darn member of staff who decided to try and "play God" by showing it to OP).

Person_one

fluffnutter wrote: »

Are you sure about this? I don't know of anyone who's had an abortion who had to have a scan first, myself included. It was many years ago though. Perhaps things have changed.

The RCOG guidelines still state that routine scanning is unnecessary, there must be circumstances where it is done though. The woman is supposed to be asked before the scan whether she wants to see the image.

http://www.rcog.org.uk/files/rcog-corp/Abortion_Guideline_Summary.pdf

Tiredandstressed_3

newcook wrote: »

While I agree its unusual for the clinic to show the scan, they do need to carry one out to make sure that there is a fetus and that it is in the right area (rather than ectopic) – they wont carry out any procedure without this. As far as I am aware, they also wont carry one out without being able to see a heartbeat.

OP - as others have said, you have to do what you feel is right. do not let anyone make the decision for you

That's right. She said it was in the womb where it should be. She said the scan was to determined where it was and also the size even though I gave her the dates of my last period I guess the need to double check.

newcook

fluffnutter wrote: »

Are you sure about this? I don't know of anyone who's had an abortion who had to have a scan first, myself included. It was many years ago though. Perhaps things have changed.

It may be different at different clinics but they did one at the one I went to with my friend (central Birmingham in 2012). I would also add though that they didn’t show the screen or have any sound etc but they had to scan incase the pregnancy was ectopic and would obviously need hospital treatment.

Stephb1986_2

I think everyone should give the OP a break. What would be worse?


The OP having an abortion and carrying on with her life trying to pay off existing debts.


Or

Having this baby and putting herself into more of a financial crisis possibly not being able to support her family. What happens if her central heating system breaksdown and she hasn't got the money to get it repaired because she has a new baby that would be utter stupidity to bring a child into a world where the family is living hand to mouth (Sorry OP I don't mean it like that)


I'm not for or against abortion you have to do what is right for you at the end of the day only you can decide what to do.


I hope you can see where I'm coming from with this.


Steph xx

Tiredandstressed_3

We are Steph unfortunately. If we didn't work, were on benefits with minimal rent to pay I guess things would be different.
Instead we decided a few years ago to buy a house to make a better life for all of us. We made the decision not to have children together and hubby is waiting or an appointment to discuss a vasectomy ( Sod's law) then New Year's Eve this happens. It was never planned this way and now it's happened I know we'll have to live with our choice.

System

It's easy to get emotional with topics like this, and all of us are different so what is right for one person might not be right for another. I know that personally if I somehow fell pregnant despite the precautions taken, I would most likely have a termination. Partly due to financial reasons but mostly due to the risk to my health. And I would be ok with that as it would be the right thing for me and I'd be damned if I let anyone else make me feel bad for doing what I felt was the right thing.

Nobody here can tell you what you should do, the only thing I will say is do what is right for you