Sensitive first post

duchy

heartbreak_star wrote: »

I agree with a lot of this post, except the bit in purple - it depends on the person and how they view a <20 week embryo. It really would be that simple for me, but maybe not so much for someone who wants a baby.

HBS x

I think that is fine in theory but I do know women who thought they would feel like that............and found after the event they didn't.
I really don't think you can say how you'd react until you've experienced that particular situation

aridjis

I'm removing my post now as I just wanted to help the OP. Fluffnutter who are you to say the OP is a troll and that what women feel is not valid.

Shame on you.

fluffnutter

panagia wrote: »

You're talking rubbish.

Whatever. Why not have a read of the studies? No doubt there'll be reference to them online.

aridjis

fluffnutter wrote: »

Whatever. Why not have a read of the studies? No doubt there'll be reference to them online.

I don't want to 'have a read of the studies' thankyou. I think it's YOU that's trolling this thread, not the OP.

fluffnutter

panagia wrote: »

I'm removing my post now as I just wanted to help the OP. Fluffnutter who are you to say the OP is a troll and that what women feel is not valid.

Shame on you.

Stop being melodramatic. Where have I said that it's 'not valid' to regret an abortion? That's utterly someone's own personal right and I fully acknowledge (and mentioned in my previous post) that there are women who feel that way. My point is simply that extensive studies have found that the majority don't.

There is a world beyond your own experience. Just because you feel a certain way doesn't mean that everyone else does.

samtoby

I think from your posts your mind is made up.

At the end of the day despite what anyone says this is your decision - its your body - of course your OH is involved in that as well.

Financially who can afford children? I had a child at 19 and I had nothing, I have worked hard got myself a good job and yes I suppose I could have terminated but finances are not everything. Happiness is to me and my health as well as those of my family.

If you do go through with it, please make sure you speak to the staff about your decision and how you feel.

neneromanova

What you have to think about is are you a regretful person or a what if person at all? If you could cope with doing it then I say go for it. But if you're a person (like me) who would always be wondering what if or it would be "1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8yrs etc today, then I would say don't do it as it will have lasting effects on you and your relationship.

Is there anyway you can talk to your family about this and see what they say?

barbiedoll

OP, you don't sound as though you would welcome a baby, even if you did have more money. You have already brought up two children, if that is enough for you then that is your business and no-one else's.

From a strictly legal viewpoint, even your husband doesn't have a say in your decision, if you want to stay pregnant, or if you don't, the decision is purely yours. Of course, in real life, your husband's opinion does matter but all I will say is that you shouldn't be pushed into any course of action that doesn't feel right for YOU.

If you want to end your pregnancy, then do so, move on with your life and don't waste time with regrets. It's nothing to do with anyone else.

I wish you well, whatever your decision.

sassyblue

Wightliving wrote: »

'and 5% because we want to have a bit of a life'

What about the baby you have growing inside of you, does he/she not have a right to a life?

I had an abortion years ago for what I thought were 'good reasons'. Biggest regret of my life.

All babies are blessings.

Sadly not everyone thinks so. I'm sorry you regretted your experience but l ttc for 8 years l could get over emotional about these posts but l don't. What's important is every baby is born to a parent/family that will love them unconditionally and provide for them.

Tiredandstressed wrote: »

I can assure you this isn't bollox. I'm booked in for a vacuum next week. Hubby keeps saying this is the right thing for us which I guess it is.
It's not about something as trivial as 'being skint'. But wanting to have a life together and not be in debt/ struggling for another 16 years

That said l don't wish to know the details.

fluffnutter

panagia wrote: »

I don't want to 'have a read of the studies' thankyou. I think it's YOU that's trolling this thread, not the OP.

Here you go. I've even made it easy for you by providing you a quick link. There are numerous others.

http://women.webmd.com/news/20000822/study-says-most-women-dont-regret-abortion

Read it. Don't read it. I couldn't care less.

Too many abortion threads are all about how 'you'll feel terrible!' and 'the biggest mistake of my life!'. I think it's important that women have a more balanced response which is why I mentioned the studies. If that makes me a troll, whatever. I think it unlikely I'd knock up over 20 thousand posts if I were into trolling though.