Sensitive first post

justanopinion

From the financial side - find out your employer's maternity policy. Statutory maternity is 90% base wage for the first 6 weeks and then £136 a week for the next 27 weeks. (There is more to this, so Google statutory maternity pay).

You don't need to take maternity, you can return to work earlier. It depends if you have a reliable source of care.

I guess what I'm saying is, if it's purely financial, there may be a way round this.

Try and work out the financials as best you can. I'm sure there are many people who can help with the benefits side.

And look after yourself. x

Tiredandstressed_3

fluffnutter wrote: »

You said you've already got some.

I'm calling it - this is a wind-up.

Yes I have. My husband is not the father of either.

pinkapplepie21

Wightliving - I was waiting for when one of you would crawl out of the woodwork.

You can see Tired is struggling with her decision and your comments are not appropriate.

If you went through this hard process you know yourself how difficult it can be to cope with.

Its not that hard to be nice and supportive to people. You could have said you regretted yours but its her decision, all the best etc.

I despair.

Tiredandstressed_3

Wightliving wrote: »

'and 5% because we want to have a bit of a life'

What about the baby you have growing inside of you, does he/she not have a right to a life?

I had an abortion years ago for what I thought were 'good reasons'. Biggest regret of my life.

All babies are blessings.

I understand your view.
Our house would be in jeopardy if we couldn't pay the mortgage due to either one of us being out of work. That wouldn't be a blessing.

Kayalana99

Tiredandstressed wrote: »

Thanks.
I'm divided on it too.
My husband does not want any children. We can't afford for either one of us to leave work plus we live miles away from any family so have no support network at all here.
It all feels like such a mess. I burst into tears when I went to the clinic to find out the process. I jut want to make 100% sure I'm doing the right thing. At the moment I'm 95% sure.

You'd manage, everyone does. Might not see it now but you would.

Are you 100% on adoption? I just wonder what OH would say if you just told him you couldn't go through with it and its adoption or keeping it...

tasha-debt

The most important thing to do whats right for you and your husband, not based on the opinions of others.
x

mehak_327

I am all for abortion. There is nothing wrong with opting for abortion (in my opinion). It is a difficult decision - but so is carrying on with having a baby, going through morning sickness, going through body change and all that.

Make a decision as a family - but do not let opinions of this board sway you. You will come across people claiming "they have a right to life" - but listen to your heart. Do you really want the baby, if not - in this country we have a choice.

The reasons you state for not having a baby are perfectly valid in my opinion

All the best

Stereophonics

fluffnutter.. even if it's a wind up, the advice could be useful to someone else in the same situation.. not to mention the distress the OP will have if it's a genuine poster. Also, not sure why you think it's a wind up? She said the children have grown up, so it's probably from a previous relationship?

duchy

If you are finding the on-line calculators hard then make an appointment at Citizen's Advice and they will go through the various options available to you financially.

Eg Maternity pay, Child benefit and tax credits-staying working fulltime versus part-time or staying at home in the early years , help with childcare costs via tax credits etc.

For me we were better off with me working part-time rather than fulltime once childcare was taken into account- a lot will depend on what you are both currently earning - and any options for adjusting hours for you later.

Don't make the decision purely on finances -make it on what is right for you as a couple once you are fully informed on what the financial impact will be as well as the other considerations (like why your husband doesn't want children -is that purely financial or other things too)

Tiredandstressed_3

pinkapplepie21 wrote: »

Wightliving - I was waiting for when one of you would crawl out of the woodwork.

You can see Tired is struggling with her decision and your comments are not appropriate.

If you went through this hard process you know yourself how difficult it can be to cope with.

Its not that hard to be nice and supportive to people. You could have said you regretted yours but its her decision, all the best etc.

I despair.

It's ok pinkapplepie21. I have been a forum member on here for the last few years and understand this is not an easy topic for some.

I can assure all that this is not bollox nor am I a troll.