I phoned up my boyfriend's ex-gf. She's a therapist and she told me a few things.

thorsoak

Toucan_Pecan wrote: »

Sit here feeling ill no doubt. Sorry, you've been very kind replying. I am incredibly angry and feel the need to move.

JUST MOVE - and do us all a favour!

Scorpio33

If what you are saying is true - can I ask why you won't do anything about it?

There are always options - and if you are too scared, phone the police or a friend for help.

The only way this situation will change is if you DO something, so get on and DO it.
I suggest packing his bags and booking a taxi for him to leave.
If not, phone the police.

quidsy

I've never wanted to lam someone so bad.

Valli

stuc75 wrote: »

nobody ever owes anyone anything in a relationship!!

Exactly! Well put!

Mojisola

Contact https://www.womensaid.org.uk/

~Beanie~

I thought that you said he was going to stay with his ex when he left hospital?

When he does, change your locks, pack all his stuff up and send it round to her house.

paulineb_2

Toucan_Pecan wrote: »

Sit here feeling ill no doubt. Sorry, you've been very kind replying. I am incredibly angry and feel the need to move.

From the outside looking in, people who have never been in an abusive relationship wont understand why you stay with someone who is abusive. Ive been there and I bet a few other people on the boards have as well, I was never isolated from my friends, Im strong enough not to let that happen but I stayed far too long with someone who was abusive to me. It happens, people meet people who arent the person you thought they were and you can end up damaged as well and you stay far longer than is good for you.

If you had an idea he could be violent to you on his return I think you had an opportunity to get him out of your life while he was in hospital, you didnt take that, your priority is to get him out now.

Im not 100 per cent convinced about this thread being genuine, but Im not 100 per cent convinced about a few threads on here, so, if what you are saying is true, you need to get out of the flat, make a phone call to the police and ask them to remove him from your home (assuming its your home) because you fear for your physical safety.

The alternative is you get out for a night or two until you can get advice, speak to the police and get him removed, but its safety first.
Pick up the phone and speak to the police. Tonight.

Toucan_Pecan

~Beanie~ wrote: »

I thought that you said he was going to stay with his ex when he left hospital?

When he does, change your locks, pack all his stuff up and send it round to her house.

When he flies back to America.... in 3 days time.... He wants a free place to stay.

Caroline_a

So wait the 3 days. Say goodbye. Break all contact. Easy.

Toucan_Pecan

He just messaged me online: Are you going to ignore me until I'm gone? and that our friendship always fails because I am unbalanced, that I need years of therapy that I have over the years tried to destroy our friendship and that if I can't see evidence of a friendship as being beneficial to me then it is further evidence to him of me being mentally unbalanced....

In a nutshell: you're mental for not doing as I say