I phoned up my boyfriend's ex-gf. She's a therapist and she told me a few things.

Mojisola

Toucan_Pecan wrote: »

My sensitive spot is him telling me "you always run away, just like you did last time"....

So block all contact from him and your sensitive spot will have time to desensitise.

sleepymans

Apologies to the OP but having followed this thread I just HAVE to remind you to do the decent thing and write to the Hospital's administrator with all "his" details so that us poor taxpayers don't have to foot the bill for this life-long loser/user's medical treatment.


If he had become ill in USA then he would either be dead (if he was too mean to seek medical attention because of the cost, or he would HAVE to pay for his treatment, and from what I read that would have cost more than 10 times what he owes the NHS.


Its time his "luck" ran out.


He can get away with his disgraceful disrespectful parasitic existence because those around him allow and enable him to.


And, by the way, emails can ALWAYS be deleted unread even if they do get through.


Go find a real man rather than wasting another thought on him.

Toucan_Pecan

sleepymans wrote: »

Apologies to the OP but having followed this thread I just HAVE to remind you to do the decent thing and write to the Hospital's administrator with all "his" details so that us poor taxpayers don't have to foot the bill for this life-long loser/user's medical treatment.


If he had become ill in USA then he would either be dead (if he was too mean to seek medical attention because of the cost, or he would HAVE to pay for his treatment, and from what I read that would have cost more than 10 times what he owes the NHS.


Its time his "luck" ran out.


He can get away with his disgraceful disrespectful parasitic existence because those around him allow and enable him to.


And, by the way, emails can ALWAYS be deleted unread even if they do get through.


Go find a real man rather than wasting another thought on him.

It's a dilemma....... I don't want him chasing me or taking revenge on me (did you read he has photos of me?). He does owe the NHS near the £6000 mark though. If he had a few morals he would pay it. I doubt he will. I doubt they will chase him up...

He claimed, "(visiting you in) London !!!!ed me up". I would reply - "No, doctors in London saved your LIFE".

thorsoak

Toucan_Pecan wrote: »

It's a dilemma....... I don't want him chasing me or taking revenge on me (did you read he has photos of me?). He does owe the NHS near the £6000 mark though. If he had a few morals he would pay it. I doubt he will. I doubt they will chase him up...

He claimed, "(visiting you in) London !!!!ed me up". I would reply - "No, doctors in London saved your LIFE".

And if he does have photos of you - so what? I, for one, would not know who the he11 I was looking at if they were ever posted publicly - and if he did post such photos, you would be able to have him prosecuted!

You know that you are co-dependent, don't you?

Toucan_Pecan

thorsoak wrote: »

And if he does have photos of you - so what? I, for one, would not know who the he11 I was looking at if they were ever posted publicly - and if he did post such photos, you would be able to have him prosecuted!

You know that you are co-dependent, don't you?

It's embarrassing, but yes. From the start when I did have a mind of my own he told me that I did not know how to compromise or be in a relationship. I think a part of me has always believed him and viewed it as a negative thing in myself. Rationally though - compromise is not the art of doing what someone else wants you to do to keep the peace and that is what it became. Even when I told him that was happening, he told me I had an identity disorder to keep having to change... so once again I felt like !!!! and gave him fodder when I protested noisily that I was reacting to the situation. He believed he had done nothing to provoke me and told me I was mad.

pogofish

Toucan_Pecan wrote: »

My sensitive spot is him telling me "you always run away, just like you did last time"....

And he obviously knows that and uses it as a lever to get to you. Its time you took control and removed that option from him!

pogofish

Yes - the moment he misuses any images of you, you will then have the power and a very good reason to come down on him like a ton of bricks.

For that reason, he won't use them and anyway, so what!

Oh and no man worth his salt will misuse any personal/private images of an ex - again even the threat of it demonstrates what sort of ratbag you are dealing with and anyone who might see the images will know the same. So nothing to worry about!

fannyadams

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF YOUR DEITY OR MINE
DELETE THIS SPONGING F*KWIT'S EMAIL ADDRESS FROM YOUR SYSTEM AND LET IT GO!
WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS JUST PRESSING ON THE BRUISE OR PICKING THE SCAB OFF THE WOUND TO SEE IF IT HAS HEALED.

IT'S ALMOST LIKE YOU NEED HIM TO BE !!!! TO YOU AND FOR MSE TO SUPPORT YOU WHILST YOU FRITTER YOUR EMOTIONS AWAY ON THIS !!!!!HOLE.

GET A NEW EMAIL ACCOUNT DO NOT GIVE IT TO HIM, GET A NEW PHONE NUMBER (SIM CARD) AND MAKE SURE YOU DON'T TRANSFER ACCROSS HIS NUMBER TO YOUR NEW SIM

DELETE AND BLOCK HIM OFF YOUR FACEBOOK

<BREATHES IN> contact relate and get some therapy for yourself...

paulineb_2

Toucan_Pecan wrote: »

It's embarrassing, but yes. From the start when I did have a mind of my own he told me that I did not know how to compromise or be in a relationship. I think a part of me has always believed him and viewed it as a negative thing in myself. Rationally though - compromise is not the art of doing what someone else wants you to do to keep the peace and that is what it became. Even when I told him that was happening, he told me I had an identity disorder to keep having to change... so once again I felt like !!!! and gave him fodder when I protested noisily that I was reacting to the situation. He believed he had done nothing to provoke me and told me I was mad.

Why cant you break free of this man? I know its not easy, Ive been in emotionally abusive relationships myself but you get to a point where theres nothing but misery and you have to get out.

Hes thousands of miles away, cut contact for gods sake or you'll waste the next few years or more on this prat

Who cares what he thinks, hes projecting onto you. Who cares. My ex used to call me mental, Im not mental, big deal, sometimes people just go for the jugular because they know they will succeed in hurting you

If you dont make efforts to get away from him there will come a time when you do nothing but wallow in misery and ruin years of your life.

Get some counselling if you cant do it alone. Hes ruining your life and you are allowing it.

likelyfran

Toucan_Pecan wrote: »

It's embarrassing, but yes. From the start when I did have a mind of my own he told me that I did not know how to compromise or be in a relationship. I think a part of me has always believed him and viewed it as a negative thing in myself. Rationally though - compromise is not the art of doing what someone else wants you to do to keep the peace and that is what it became. Even when I told him that was happening, he told me I had an identity disorder to keep having to change... so once again I felt like !!!! and gave him fodder when I protested noisily that I was reacting to the situation. He believed he had done nothing to provoke me and told me I was mad.

Classic.