So confused......

marisco_2

What exactly is your attraction to this man? I cannot fathom it.

I feel concerned for you because throughout your post you are detailing the most awful behaviours and treatment toward you. Things you chose to adjust to rather than questioning it all as not being normal, or as things that should not happen in a happy and healthy relationship. It makes me question if you have ever been loved, respected and treated well by those closest to you.

My advice is cut all contact with him. He sounds more than a little unhinged and has a cruel streak. He is happy to victimise and control you and will do so all the while you comply and put up with him doing so.

Netwizard

I'm stunned anyone could be treated so badly. Some blokes are just utter penises (and yes, I'm a bloke but I know how to treat a woman)

Get out now for sure

paulineb_2

Mojisola wrote: »

I don't think anyone with reasonable self-esteem would stay for one day with someone who gave her a list of rules like the above!

The thing is, nice in the beginning, Ive been there. Sometimes by the time someone starts acting like a !!!!, feelings get involved. are involved. People dont always show their colours on day 1.

If it were so easy to walk, people wouldnt stay in abusive relationships, the fault is with the abuser, not the person on the other end

As I said before, I dont kick myself for staying so long, Im just glad I walked and I think the OP really should be congratulated for making plans to get out.

paulineb_2

Its always easier on the outside looking in than when you are in the thick of it yourself.

sassyblue

marisco wrote: »

My advice is cut all contact with him. He sounds more than a little unhinged and has a cruel streak.

Sorry to say it but he sounds like one of those weirdoes who flip and end up really hurting people.

dotchas

Start 2014 without this millstone round your neck. Be kind to yourself...........you deserve it!

DigForVictory

Another voice raised in the Chorus of "walk away now!"

Also none of this "talk to him" lark - he's done plenty, you're here posting, stop giving him the time of day.

And definitely come back here if you start to think it was a bad idea to leave him. Read Tayforth & teawithmilk's threads - get an idea of the amount of backup (and back chat!) we can give!

Start planning your Much Happier Christmas, and plan where you'll spend it, how you'll fund it & what other moves that thread from womens refuge suggests. Like changing phone numbers.

(I'm presuming you aren't tied by property or joint accounts - sing out if that's wrong!)

Have a Much Happier Christmas - give yourself you!

bagpussbear

I got to reading number 2 on your list and thought, get the hell out of there!

Seriously, you say he says your stupid and yet you're still with him - why is your self esteem so low that you think this is acceptable?

The way he is treating you is absolutely unacceptable, please let this man go, you deserve much better for yourself.

Hermia

paulineb wrote: »

The thing is, nice in the beginning, Ive been there. Sometimes by the time someone starts acting like a !!!!, feelings get involved. are involved. People dont always show their colours on day 1.

I think that is true with some people, but I don't think many people can totally hide their character from day one. I was very lucky in that my parents gave me loads of amazing advice when I got into my teens for how to spot warning signs. My mum dated some loonies in her youth and my dad had been a player so they both knew what they were talking about. I therefore find I spot things very early. The only problem is that when I spot warning signs in friend's relationships they don't listen until it's got bad.

mrsmortenharket

It may not be physical, but it is abuse.
Woman's aid will be a great help to you.
Dump him & don't look back

All the best to you x