So confused......

Naya

Kynthia wrote: »

He must be REALLY charming and good looking a as why else would you have been with him this long??? Read your post again and ask yourself if your friend/sister/mum was dating him what would you suggest? Does he ever put you first over himself......ever?

He's not that good looking but he seemed very nice at first....apparently after his mum, dad, brother, sister, then it's me that's how he has classed the people important to him...

paulineb_2

People do get into abusive relationships, both physical and mental. Please do not kick yourself over the length of time you stayed with this man. I dont. Im just glad I got out.

Naya

candygirl wrote: »

Omg are you seriously considering stayin g with him?He sounds like a complete sociopath!Get rid asap x

No, my head is telling me it's time to get out and I am planning to tell him some home truths tomorrow....

thorsoak

Naya wrote: »

He's not that good looking but he seemed very nice at first....apparently after his mum, dad, brother, sister, then it's me that's how he has classed the people important to him...

Yes....he needs you as a transport facilitator, a credit line, a skivvy and a whipping post!

You are not important to him as a person ....just as an object that he can use

Not nice, I know - please leave him now!

Naya

Arose wrote: »

Tell him the UK is not the Middle East

Hi, I'm amazed you said that ( in a good way)...you hit the nail on the head....

paulineb_2

Naya wrote: »

No, my head is telling me it's time to get out and I am planning to tell him some home truths tomorrow....

I would say dont. You are going to get sucked into more damaging and toxic conversations about how its all you and how youve caused this.
And you may end up being persuaded to stay. Tell him its over, face to face if you really want to but also please make sure you are safe doing this. And then leave.

thorsoak

Naya wrote: »

No, my head is telling me it's time to get out and I am planning to tell him some home truths tomorrow....

Don't bother telling him - just leave him a note! Don't give him a chance to try to bamboozle you again. And DON'T let him have a forwarding address!

Hermia

Naya wrote: »

No, my head is telling me it's time to get out and I am planning to tell him some home truths tomorrow....

Don't. Given the way you describe him I doubt he is going to listen. In fact he will probably just use it all against you. Just sever the relationship as quickly as possible and don't prolong things by getting into discussions.

clarryd

Dump him by text message the same respect he gives you then change your number.

krlyr

Naya, maybe take a read of the Women's Aid website. Abuse doesn't have to be physical..things like telling you you need to be re-educated, that you won't find anyone better than him, that if you trusted him you'd do X, Y and Z all sound like mental abuse to me.
http://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic_violence_topic.asp?section=0001000100220041&sectionTitle=Domestic+violence+%28general%29

Hopefully you've had a lot of reassurance from the other posts. If it helps, my OH borrows my car at times (as his is a work car - available for personal use but sometimes it's just easier to take mine). It's only once or twice a month, if that, but he has offered to pay towards the insurance, MOT, etc. - I don't take it (all our money is a pooled resource in the end, anyway) but it's a good example of how someone you love should appreciate the use of your car, not expect it for free (or expect you to run around dropping it off and paying for a train fare home etc.!)
He also paid for a lot of the food shopping both before and after we moved in together - he appreciated that I went to the effort of cooking nice meals, so that was his way of returning the favour.

There are men a lot nicer than this guy - tons of them, and I'm sure you could find one to get in a relationship with. A relationship you'd actually enjoy, and be appreciated in. Don't let this guy bully you into staying put and putting up with his behaviour.