So confused......

Laurajo_2

paulineb wrote: »

People do get into abusive relationships, both physical and mental. Please do not kick yourself over the length of time you stayed with this man. I dont. Im just glad I got out.

Totally agree with this!

Good luck, stay strong xx

Frugalsod

If someone does not want public displays of affection like holding hands then they could be seeing other people, and not wanting anyone who seems him to get the wrong idea. It is a warning sign.

Secondly the lack of a Masters is not a problem. One night at a friends home with his teacher girlfriend we watched Mastermind on TV, and while neither of us had a degree we managed to answer more questions than she as a teacher could. She then said "What use is general knowledge anyway?" All some degrees do for people is give them a sense of superiority.

paulineb_2

!!!!!! is having a masters so important anyway. I have a degree and two post grads and my post grads were marked at Masters level and Id have had to have done more research to get one, but I didnt need it and didnt do it. So what???? Am I supposed to believe Ive failed because I didnt get a masters, how completely pathetic and ridiculous.

Its perfectly possible to act like a complete numb nuts even if you have a Masters as your bf is demonstrating perfectly.

Toto

I would keep the break up as neat and quick as possible. There is no need for any sort of conversation, any discussion is leaving you open to more manipulation and abuse. Do you have any family or friends whom you could stay with for a few days? I would probably write him a letter and post it to his address and then disappear for a few days while he digests it.


Be prepared for him to chase you, he may try lots of different approaches, ranging from charming and sweet to angry and belittling. You are going to have to be strong and engage in as little contact with him as humanly possible. If you have a good friend you can rely on then put them on red alert. By this I mean if he should turn up at your house then a single one word text message means that they need to pop round to help you get shot of him so you aren't facing it alone.


You sound like a very kind lady. Please remember that this is all him, you should not be angry with yourself for being treated this way. By all means learn from this and work on believing that you are a valuable person who should be treated well. That way you won't allow anyone else to treat you as this sorry excuse for a man has done.

Hermia

Frugalsod wrote: »

If someone does not want public displays of affection like holding hands then they could be seeing other people, and not wanting anyone who seems him to get the wrong idea. It is a warning sign.

Not wanting PDAs isn't necessarily a bad sign (I don't particularly like them) and that could also be down to cultural issues, but obviously in this context it is a warning sign.

Frugalsod wrote: »

Secondly the lack of a Masters is not a problem. One night at a friends home with his teacher girlfriend we watched Mastermind on TV, and while neither of us had a degree we managed to answer more questions than she as a teacher could. She then said "What use is general knowledge anyway?" All some degrees do for people is give them a sense of superiority.

I am very proud of my masters, but it doesn't say anything about me beyond being very knowledgeable about a certain subject. I can't imagine bringing it up in a relationship!

Mojisola

Please get some counselling before you start any more relationships!

gasmanmartin

Good luck Naya

sassyblue

Naya wrote: »

5. He apparently is re-educating me because I'm stupid and because I do not hold any Masters in anything, I should learn to communicate and behave in front of his family, who I will meet one day apparently... ( I take no notice of that one...)

GET RID

GET RID

and finally

GET RID

and don't look back, he's a twonk.

paulineb_2

To be honest, Im not sure she needs counselling, but if she wants it, then get it

I dont blame myself for being stuck with those two, I was just unlucky. Two people have married my first ex so there is a side to him thats charming, his first marriage lasted a year and hes on his second. He didnt get married until he was 38, was divorced and remarried again very quickly and his new wife has just recently had his baby

Im not sure if shes seen the side of him that I saw, but as my mum has always said, leopards dont change their spots.

Its very easy to be sucked in by people. Both of my exes, their workmates, friends and family will think they are the salt of the earth and sometimes thats what makes it so hard to break away, because everyone thinks of that person as being lovely, but they arent lovely to you

Some people have more faces than the town clock and thats the truth.

Mojisola

Naya wrote: »

My boyfriend who I will refer to as X has some strange behaviour should I say....It was going fine in the beginning and I did my best to adjust to the strange behaviours as such
1. Do not talk to X in the morning as he needs to think
2. Do not hold his hand or walk next to him when we are out together, I should follow...
3. Do not point at anything when talking to him or hold anything to show him - it's apparently childish behaviour
4. Do not call him darling as it's so cheap and low life
5. He apparently is re-educating me because I'm stupid and because I do not hold any Masters in anything, I should learn to communicate and behave in front of his family, who I will meet one day apparently... ( I take no notice of that one...)

I don't think anyone with reasonable self-esteem would stay for one day with someone who gave her a list of rules like the above!