So confused......

thorsoak

Naya wrote: »

Hi, I'm amazed you said that ( in a good way)...you hit the nail on the head....

If, as I think you are saying, he is of a different culture to that which you've grown up in, it explains a lot.

But it makes no difference to the advice you've been given - just go. He does not value you as you deserve to be valued.

Naya

[QUOTE

You dont need to be treated like that, by anyone. Get out and yes it might hurt, but when I left the second relationship (the first one left me, twice, long story and caused all sorts of mayhem for years afterwards), I didnt feel half as bad as I thought I would. I held off because I thought, I'll be so upset. I wasnt, I was just relieved. I used to go home to my flat at night, do what I wanted, eat what I wanted, dress how I wanted (my dress sense wasnt good either according to Mr Gok Wan, I dressed apparently like a badly dressed lesbian whatever that is).

And had no one nagging me. Absolute bliss. Dont make the mistake I did, dont spend years of your life with someone who is basically unhinged and a ratbag to boot. Life is better than that or should be.[/QUOTE]


Thanks....you are right....I will need time to re-adjust but it will definitely be better....been there myself before I've had practice....ex left me for another woman...who then did not want him as a permanent feature....

candygirl

Naya wrote: »

No, my head is telling me it's time to get out and I am planning to tell him some home truths tomorrow....

Good stuff hun xx

Naya

Hermia wrote: »

He sounds like a total loony - run away! And when you have done that have a break from relationships. The fact that you went along with his crazy demands suggests you need to work on your confidence and learning how normal healthy relationships work.

You defo have a point ...confidence is an issue....I'm easily knocked down...looking into some counselling for next year....my friend that has told me I'm apparently too nice...

Naya

go_cat wrote: »

If you find yourself swaying back.....come back on here and we will sort you out

thanks...you made me laugh.....I'll remember that....

Hermia

Naya wrote: »

You defo have a point ...confidence is an issue....I'm easily knocked down...looking into some counselling for next year....my friend that has told me I'm apparently too nice...

I'm glad to hear that. You will find as you gain more confidence in yourself your loony detector will get better!

clarryd

whatever you decide to do remember there is always someone to speak to you are not on your own.

Good luck x

Naya

clarryd wrote: »

whatever you decide to do remember there is always someone to speak to you are not on your own.

Good luck x

Thanks so much.....took me 3 days before I decided to post on here but I'm glad that I did....I cannot say that I'm 100% feeling better cos I know that the first few weeks gonna be a rough ride and I will need to be disciplined and tough with myself.


I know that I can come back on here and someone will knock my head in place and make me laugh...
I really appreciate it....

Naya

Thanks everyone....for all your comments, apologies I have not replied to all but thanked you.


It feels much to have heard from all of you....off to get some courage now.....anyone knows where I could buy some....

paulineb_2

You know you are unhappy, you might be unhappy for a bit even if it ends tomorrow, but it will be better than being in a toxic horrible relationship.

You dont need him, hes toxic, just leave and dont go back, you dont even need to tell him face to face its over, if you do feel you need to be prepared that you might come out of it feeling awful, I didnt feel bad about not saying to my ex face to face that it was over, I didnt want to see him again, I just wanted him to know I wasnt prepared to stay and be treated like that.

He has no hold over you at all, you might think he does but he has none.