Need help thinking up an excuse for Santa

iammumtoone

notanewuser wrote: »

Ah, my answer wouldn't be no. Mine would be "some people believe he's real, and that's fine. What do you believe/think?" Just as it would be if I was asked a question regarding any religion.

That would be my answer too (I would leave in the bit about it being fine ). I have always said if and when he asked if he is real I will not lie to a direct question. But at six he has not asked whether he is real or not, as I said previously I suspect he hasn't as deep down he knows the truth but doesn't want to hear it, he enjoys the magic of it, I can't see any harm in that.

notanewuser

iammumtoone wrote: »

That would be my answer too (I would leave in the bit about it being fine ). I have always said if and when he asked if he is real I will not lie to a direct question. But at six he has not asked whether he is real or not, as I said previously I suspect he hasn't as deep down he knows the truth but doesn't want to hear it, he enjoys the magic of it, I can't see any harm in that.

But you've created an illusion for him every year (since birth?) to encourage him to believe. You expected him to believe, wanted him to believe, and are preparing yourself from when he doesn't anymore.

You drove it. You made the decisions for him. It was a parent-led choice rather than child-led.

That's the difference. We don't fake anything to make DD believe. She'll see "Santa" at nursery tomorrow and I genuinely don't know what she'll make of it. She's hated him the last 2 years! :rotfl:

iammumtoone

onlyroz wrote: »

In our house Santa just brings a small sock of toys and sweets. I want the credit for the bigger presents to go to whoever bought them...

Yes I do this in that anything anyone else buys he knows who that came from, but the majority of the things I buy come from Santa, I don't want credit/thanks from him for myself as I get my enjoyment from seeing how excited he gets about Christmas (part of that excitement comes from the magic of Santa). He gets gifts at birthdays as well but doesn't get so excited about that.

Prothet_of_Doom

I remember telling a six year old girl and a 9 year old boy (my kids), that no. Santa does not exist, but don't tell mummy, because nobody has ever been unkind enough to tell her, and I promised nanny, that I would continue to provide a stocking (to nanny's specification), until such time that she realised, and I was still surprised that 12 years into our marriage, she still hadn't realised.

They actually believed that my wife didn't realise for another 6 years. It was her complaining that I had put foot cream from Ikea family range that swung it for them.

They must have thought she was quite insane.

All credit to them, they still pretend that Santa exists, even though they are 17 and 20.

iammumtoone

notanewuser wrote: »

But you've created an illusion for him every year (since birth?) to encourage him to believe. You expected him to believe, wanted him to believe, and are preparing yourself from when he doesn't anymore.

You drove it. You made the decisions for him. It was a parent-led choice rather than child-led.

That's the difference. We don't fake anything to make DD believe. She'll see "Santa" at nursery tomorrow and I genuinely don't know what she'll make of it. She's hated him the last 2 years! :rotfl:

And what is the harm in that, there will be plenty of times in your life that you will have to prepare yourself for when everything is not going to work out how your daughter thought it was.

quidsy

You drove it. You made the decisions for him. It was a parent-led choice rather than child-led.

Wrong they learn about santa well before anyone might tell them it is true, from cards, from the cocoa cola truck, from nursery, from grottos. Parents don't "lead" them to anything. I never told my son that it was real it was just "there". He decided it was & if he asks me if it is real, like you I say, "what do you think?" He made up his own mind from the things around him but all the while he thinks it is & it brings him some magic then I wont burst his bubble.

If you & oh were so traumatised by having to pretend to youngers then sorry about that but I doubt there are many like you around. Most people moved on or even thought of it once the penny dropped.

Georgiegirl256

Judi wrote: »

Its about lying to your kids. If you lie to them about the little things then are they going to believe you when it comes to the big things?
.

I've read all these posts with interest, and have no issue with what anyone believes is right to tell their children. "There is a Santa" or "There isn't a Santa", whatever people deem right for them to tell their children, I have no issue with that, that's how their family is and who is anyone to say any different?

I wasn't going to post anything until I read the sanctimonious claptrap quoted above!! Yeah, didn't you know, there are millions, nay billions of kids absolutely traumatised by their parents lying to them about Santa! You would not believe the money having to be spent on therapy with all these kids who don't believe a word their parents say....all because of one little lie about Santa. It's tragic I tell ya....just tragic

rach_k

OP, my biggest parenting tool when it comes to questions about fairies, Father Christmas, religion etc is asking, "What do you think?". If a child really is past the point of believing or wanting to believe, they will come out and tell you. If they do still believe and were just checking, they'll probably justify what they saw/heard. I would probably wrap all of the presents you were going to give LO in loads of different papers and pile them up. Tell LO the presents in the pile are from you and from Father Christmas, maybe put some pressies from other family members on the pile too. If he does still believe, he'll choose to think the ones he didn't see were from Father Christmas and the rest were from you, or if he saw them all he can come up with an idea about you helping Father Christmas buy them or whatever. If he asks about it, just ask what he thinks. Simple! If he comes right out and asks what you think, answer him how you feel is best.

I don't lie to my children about Father Christmas and my parents never did either. "What do you think?" worked until I was 10 years old - I really truly believed until then and probably would have believed longer if I hadn't made the mistake of asking my mum the direct question and she thought I had stopped believing so told me. I don't consider taking part in the belief by laying out mince pies, setting out presents to be lying... well no more than I consider reading a story about Postman Pat and talking about his job without saying "But of course, it's not real" to be lying.

heartbreak_star

From my hazy recollections, my presents always had tags on them with who they were from - I used to keep the tags to write my thank-you notes. But there was always a small present with "From Santa" on it.

I think I was about 7 or 8 when I realised that tag was written in Mum's writing. When I challenged her, she gently explained that when boys and girls get bigger, Santa doesn't know what to get any more so that's when parents take over

I just giggled and went "he's not real is he"? And we had a bit of a laugh.

Can't say I'm mentally scarred.

HBS x

dondo

Just say you're like a santa warehouse as he can't fit them all on his sleigh so you kindly act as a collection point whilst he's en route. Don't give him the presents you think he's seen (not sure what you could do with them though?)