Need help thinking up an excuse for Santa

notanewuser

quidsy wrote: »

oh the holier than thous are out on this thread.

My son gladly beleives in tooth fairy, santa, elves & dragons. I will never tell him they don't exist until he decides it himself.

I'd rather he beleive in something that he eventually figures out is not real than have him lied to all through his life by religious institutions about the existance of god, jebus, virgin births & angels.

It's not one or other though! You can happily parent without reference to any of that!

Spendless

lostinrates wrote: »

The religion debate is frequent! More interestingly,most people tell their children they are beautiful, clever, special, wonderful. Etc.......when we are most of us fairly average to all but those who love us. Most people tell social lies ' I'm sorry I'm busy that night' rather than 'I wouldn't come if hell hounds bayed behind me' or 'it's a lovely colour'm about a new dress rather than 'but the cut is awful and its a size too small for you'.


I'm not a parent, I have no issue with either parenting choice tbh, but I think we all fudge the truth at times, and I think al, parents make mistakes. Its horrid to watch EITHER stance take stabs at each other.

Religion debates I've come across but I must have missed any about whether it's lying to a child about Mary being a virgin and pregnant. I agree with all what you've said re when we tell social fibs, so I don't know why people get hung up on a story told to kids when they are young - which they all outgrow! I've yet to hear of an adult in therapy over the Santa story - and if someone does know one, I'd guess it wouldn't be the only issue in their lives.

LannieDuck

I wouldn't worry too much about an excuse. He's at an age where he's going to become suspicious of santa anyway

By about that age as children, me and my sister both kind of knew santa didn't exist, but played along with it because it was fun ("Mummy, why does Santa have your handwriting?" :P etc).

quidsy

Judi wrote: »

Its not about being holier than thou.


Its about lying to your kids. If you lie to them about the little things then are they going to believe you when it comes to the big things?



Its about not having to paint Santa as the bad guy when your neighbours kids gets hundreds spent on them at Christmas but you cant afford much.


I could go on....

If you have to "justify" how much money you spend on presents to your own children then you have much bigger problems than a white lie that lasts for a couple of years.

notanewuser

fireyfirenze wrote: »

I wouldn't waste too much time defending yourself, the majority of parents do it your way. if I recall rightly on another thread notanewuser mentioned her child gets 1 or 2 presents for Christmas, something small like a jumper (please correct me if I'm wrong) so people obviously do it very differently from each other, which is fine of course.

We don't get her much at xmas, no. She has an October birthday - which we make a big deal of - and usually something outdoorsy for the summer. We rarely do Xmas on 25th Dec either (for various reasons). We just keep it low key, low hassle, low stress.

We try to make the festive season about spending time with friends and family and being kind to others rather than about presents and imaginary beings.

I've never bought her a jumper though!!

Spendless

Judi wrote: »

Its not about being holier than thou.


Its about lying to your kids. If you lie to them about the little things then are they going to believe you when it comes to the big things?

Thankfully mine grew emotionally mature enough to distinguish the difference between fairies at the bottom of the garden and if you don't revise you'll not pass your test.:think:

quidsy

notanewuser wrote: »

It's not one or other though! You can happily patent without reference to any of that!

Yes but I chose not to.

I want my boy to have magic in his life, I want him to be sheilded a little longer from the realities of life, if he asks me, "mummy, do you beleive in santa?" I answer "yes I do". For his sake I beleive in it.

And I don't want him to tell his little mates that it isn't real either. When he tells me so & so at school said santa isn't real I happily tell him, "up to them."

It hurts no one.

Religion on the other hand...

notanewuser

Spendless wrote: »

Religion debates I've come across but I must have missed any about whether it's lying to a child about Mary being a virgin and pregnant. I agree with all what you've said re when we tell social fibs, so I don't know why people get hung up on a story told to kids when they are young - which they all outgrow! I've yet to hear of an adult in therapy over the Santa story - and if someone does know one, I'd guess it wouldn't be the only issue in their lives.

But that's the point. DD isn't being told anything as truth. They are all stories that some people choose to believe. By trying to make the story seem real we believe you're setting the kids up for disappointment.

DH and I are both eldest children. We both recall the disappointment of discovering Santa wasn't real, and having to pretend for "the sake" of younger siblings. In DH's case that was another 10 years!! 10 years of being told to lie to his brothers by his parents. And for what?

quidsy

Maybe to give an act of magic & kindness to his younger siblings.

notanewuser

quidsy wrote: »

Maybe to give an act of magic & kindness to his younger siblings.

Is it kind to tell blatant lies then?

Are you telling me Christmas can't be "magical" for children without Santa?