Need help thinking up an excuse for Santa

Nicki

Judi wrote: »

Its not about being holier than thou.


Its about lying to your kids. If you lie to them about the little things then are they going to believe you when it comes to the big things?

My eldest child is almost 14 and we do Santa in this household. When he asked at around the age of 10, I told him Santa wasn't real and he agreed happily to keep the game going for his younger brother and sister.

We have no issues of trust. He knows that the Santa/tooth fairy tales were a fantasy that adults create for children but that for the big important things in life we will always be true to him.

Frankly if your child can't trust you and regards you as a liar and unreliable, that is ALL about you as a parent and NOTHING to do with what you chose to do about Santa when they were a baby. There are millions of us out there who believed in Santa as children and were able to go on to have stable trusting relationships with our parents. Just as there are thousands of f3ckless waste of space parents who couldn't have given a toss about creating a Santa experience for their kids!

In the grand scale of parenting this is a massive non issue. If you don't want to participate in the Santa ritual with your kids that's fine but please keep your pejorative judgmental comments about lying to yourself. The majority of us can bask in our kids joy and excitement on Christmas Day and the rest of you can let your smugness at being a better person keep you warm instead if you think that's what made your own child happiest on the day

seven-day-weekend

We're practising Christians and when our son was small we told him that Christmas was to celebrate Jesus' birth. That was it, we never embellished the Christmas story in any other way. Even a non-religious person could do that!

We had Father Christmas (left to me we would not have done), but he was not a 'magical' figure, and he didn't fly through the air, he was more like a glorified postman, who pulled up on the road in his sledge pulled by reindeer and delivered the presents which had been sent to him earlier. Our son stopped believing this when he was about six, but we still put out the mince pie and the carrot for the reindeer because it was fun.

I was terrified of the whole Father Christmas thing when I was little so my mum told me he wasn't real at a very early age - so early I don't remember ever belierving in him.

quidsy

notanewuser wrote: »

Is it kind to tell blatant lies then?

Are you telling me Christmas can't be "magical" for children without Santa?

No I didn't say that at all. But when my child asked me if santa was real I certainly didn't say no. That would be just plain nasty.

iammumtoone

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

We're practising Christians and when our son was small we told him that Christmas was to celebrate Jesus' birth. That was it, we never embellished the Christmas story in any other way. Even a non-religious person could do that!

We are not practicing Christians but every year I make sure that we go to a church event that tells the story of Jesus' birth. I also have a book telling the story we get out this time of year and read. Whilst we are not practicing Christians I personally believe ds should know the real story behind Christmas and that it is not just about receiving presents.

I also tell the magic of Santa, I do not see why I can't do both.

Some children don't even know that there is a religious reason to Christmas, that is their parents choice as long as the children are cared for and loved I don't criticise them/ think any different of them for not telling that side of things.

notanewuser

quidsy wrote: »

No I didn't say that at all. But when my child asked me if santa was real I certainly didn't say no. That would be just plain nasty.

Ah, my answer wouldn't be no. Mine would be "some people believe he's real, and that's fine. What do you believe/think?" Just as it would be if I was asked a question regarding any religion.

Admittedly it means a conversation rather than just agreeing for an easy life, but who said parenting was always easy?

quidsy

And mine was neither just yes. So you are no better no worse than the rest of us then.

seven-day-weekend

notanewuser wrote: »

Ah, my answer wouldn't be no. Mine would be "some people believe he's real, and that's fine. What do you believe/think?" Just as it would be if I was asked a question regarding any religion.

Admittedly it means a conversation rather than just agreeing for an easy life, but who said parenting was always easy?

That would be my answer too (except that I would leave off the bit about it being fine ).

onlyroz

In our house Santa just brings a small sock of toys and sweets. I want the credit for the bigger presents to go to whoever bought them...

stir_crazy

Personally I dont see the harm in letting children believe in Santa. It does add a magical element, regardless of how "magical" you make santa seem. I've yet to see a child disappointed when they realise that santa doesnt exist - usually by that time they are old enough to understand the true meaning of Christmas.

OP, I wouldnt mention anything to him unless he mentions it first. You'll probably tell whether he's ready to stop believing by the way that he phrases it.

notanewuser

stir_crazy wrote: »

Personally I dont see the harm in letting children believe in Santa.

I'm not stopping DD from believing if she wants to. What I'm not doing is presenting it as a truth in order to create some sort of magic.

stir_crazy wrote: »

It does add a magical element, regardless of how "magical" you make santa seem. I've yet to see a child disappointed when they realise that santa doesnt exist - usually by that time they are old enough to understand the true meaning of Christmas.

.

I know several people who as adults realise the impact that the receipt had on the parent-child relationship later in life actually. I remember the feeling when I found out at 6 and really hated having to pretend to my sister for another 5 years.