Jealous, upset and no idea what to do

Anamechanger

A regular user but changed my name to protect the innocent.

My DH has KFS. He was diagnosed at 40 when we had been trying for a baby for 2 years. It was an absolute shock as he had no idea.

We joined an infertility group and found a great doctor. Apparently it is believed that 1 in 800 or so men have KF...many undiagnosed. The one key feature is infertility. I was amazed at the array of people we met in the same boat.

Anyway, we tried IVF and the drs tried to surgically extract sperm from DH, with no luck. We ended up using donor sperm and are proud parents to one wonderful healthy child. We don't care about the origins -just our wonderful child.

Good luck getting everything else under control. This was just to prove that KFS does not have to be the end of the line.

justanopinion

Currently sat in the doctors thanks to the support on this thread. I'm actually asking for proper help to cope with the withdrawal rather than drink to take it away. I hate asking for help but I have to do something.

Thank you all. Xxx

Adrenalina

Well done for taking control! Baby steps and you'll get there.

A couple of points I'm not sure have been made before:
1) if you get on well with SIL and they live nearby , being an auntie can really be the best of both worlds. Kids are better behaved, give just as much love and you can forego your lie-ins when you chose to (as opposed to every day for ten years.
2) really sorry to flip the coin this way, and I only mean it as a trigger for thought: when you write about your OH you do sound in love, which is so sweet after nine years. You mentioned that he struggles with the diagnosis. There's a good chance that a bit of "manly pride" and self esteem issues come into it for him when you raise the subject of alternative ways of becoming a parent. So in a way, maybe your challenges are giving him a reason to shield himself from his own challenges? When you have control of yours, you can stand together on this parenting question.
I was going to "devil advocate" that perhaps it would be worth considering what if he's thinking of leaving you? What if all this is too much for him to cope with, or he thinks you might be happier with someone else and tries to let you go? How would you feel then? But it sounds as if he's genuinely fond of you and is trying to be supportive (an early Christmas bouquet, that is so sweet!). Every relationship has hurdles, but if you both care about each other and keep the channels of communication open, overcoming them will make your relationship stronger.

Best of luck!

lostinrates

Just an opinion,

I have a few friends in recovery and I don't drink ATM because of medication. This is a difficult time of year because there is a social acceptability to drinking, indeed almost an insistence sometimes one should. But In someways it makes it a super time to deal with it, because you can see how clearly ugly it can make people be.

I hope you get good help and support.