Rebuilding Trust...

marisco_2

Waney_B wrote: »

Hi All,

Just an update, we are still together. Its been difficult and the smallest of arguments turn into a mud slinging match. We have not been right for 2-3 years and staying together for the children.

Its different now, I have to make sure that I am happy, as the children will always be around..

You are clearly very unhappy OP. Your relationship wont last long term if the only reason you are still with your wife is for the sake of the children. When you reach the stage of there being nothing left of the love, trust and respect that once existed between you both then your marriage is already broken. The very people you are trying to protect by staying together, could end up very badly affected by this decision.

Most couples find it extremely challenging to rebuild trust after an affair. Doing this though is the only way to move forward together positively and have any chance of creating a happy, stable family life again. Have you two had a really open and honest discussion about the affair yet? Did you take an opportunity to verbalize all your hurt feelings? Your wife should be wiling to hear an honest account of how her actions have affected you. Has she made a sincere apology or offered any reassurances that this will never happen again? If the thought of doing this by yourselves is daunting then maybe contacting Relate could be a good idea.

Bare in mind that trying to do what you are can break people over a long enough time period. Take care of yourself and I hope you have the love and support of family and friends, to help you through this difficult time in your life.