Rebuilding Trust...

i_want_to_believe

tayforth wrote: »

Er, what????

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=snakes%20with%20tits

You learn something new every day......

Waney_B

Okay Okay...

She owned up, she did it.

Took her 3 attempts to tell me..

1st - I went there, slept in the same bed. did nothing
2nd - I went there, we kissed... did nothing
3rd - I did it, I went there....I wore a condom..

So, it was Pre-Planned. Hotel booked a few days before, Condoms bought on the way down there.

Text me in the morning to Say.. "Happy 6th Wedding Anniversary" whilst in bed with him.

No idea what we do now...we have 3 kids..

bigmomma051204

SHE wore a condom???


Mate, I think she has a bit MORE to tell you...... :cool:

FBaby

So she lied the entire time.... I am not sure what is worse, the actual cheating, or the lying that took place afterwards, even when you beg her to tell the truth.

I'm really sorry that this is the outcome. Whatever you choose to do, don't take decision to avoid facing your fears. Take decision that are the right ones. You will cope with them, see the light out the end of the tunnel, and maybe even see it as a blessing one day.

Waney_B

I understand why it happened, and the lying is in the back of my mind. She did tell me, and I did promise we would be okay if I was told the truth.

I don't want to shy from the phrase..."and the truth will set you free..." as I am a firm believer..as well as Integrity...and Respect...


When I posted this thread, she had me believe that it was me with the problem. Moaned me because I wanted counselling but now its the other way round.

I showed her where she stayed, and contacted hotel reservations for details. She told me because her friend had a similar issue, and they are getting on fine..

We can work through this, its going to be hard...but we have 3 children and first slip up in 6 years.

Netwizard

Waney_B wrote: »

as I am a firm believer..as well as Integrity...and Respect...

You might be a firm believer, but she obviously isn't!

I understand its not as easy as "kick the !!!!! to the kerb and be done with her" when you have three kids, but that was my initial thought.

Sorry but I think once a cheat, always a cheat. Anything from now on that doesn't tally 100% in terms of her movements or where she is going, and you will always be suspicious.

Respect to you if you can work though it though, You're a better man than I would be in this situation :beer:

fluffnutter

Waney_B wrote: »

I understand why it happened, and the lying is in the back of my mind. She did tell me, and I did promise we would be okay if I was told the truth.

I don't want to shy from the phrase..."and the truth will set you free..." as I am a firm believer..as well as Integrity...and Respect...


When I posted this thread, she had me believe that it was me with the problem. Moaned me because I wanted counselling but now its the other way round.

I showed her where she stayed, and contacted hotel reservations for details. She told me because her friend had a similar issue, and they are getting on fine..

We can work through this, its going to be hard...but we have 3 children and first slip up in 6 years.

I'm sorry to hear about this. But 'slip up'? She didn't trip on a banana skin. Why do people talk about infidelity is such euphemistic terms? Oops! Silly me! I accidentally shagged someone else. My bad!

Good luck trying to sort it out. Perhaps counselling is indeed a good place to start.

fluffnutter

It's all down to the location thing on her phone. facebook - helping people uncover infidelity since 2004.

System

My Facebook location is very often miles out..... Sometimes up to 20 miles out. You cant rely on it,


Just checked my location again. I'm about 5 miles away apparently.

ostrichnomore_2

Hi Waney

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I understand your hope to keep your marriage going. Some couples manage that after an affair, some don't although they try, some don't want to try. Good luck with it.

I do know a couple of couples who went on to have very happy long marriages after something like this. It depends on a lot of factors though; I don't think it's easy, and I think it's wise to get some professional help from an organisation such as Relate.

It seems that working away might not be the best lifestyle for you as a couple during this. I don't think that's any excuse for what happened, by the way, but a hard part of recovering from this is to recover trust. That's going to be hard under thecurrent circumstances. Any way you can stop working away?