Mum showing up unannounced - have I been unfair?

Georgiegirl256

Soleil_lune wrote: »

I'm not being funny, but I can't get on board with this. It's all very well saying 'why don't you just tell them,' but the reality is somewhat different.

It's all very well people talking about 'assertiveness' and all that psycho-babble, but actually putting it into practice is another thing!

People should be more considerate and understanding, and not invite themselves over constantly. People shouldn't have to tell them!

I guess we'll have to agree to disagree, because I'm sorry, but I WOULD tell them, I'd have absolutely no qualms about doing so. I'd be polite of course, but I'd make it clear that they were taking the !!!!, and that I didn't have mug tattooed on my forehead. I certainly wouldn't put up with it for 2 years!

People should have to tell them, they are not mind readers, your BIL probably thought you loved having him round as you never told him any different.

lostinrates

Torry_Quine wrote: »

This time of year I'm only ever using the back door if putting something in the bin. Makes no diference though as I always have it locked and am genuinely surprised that some people don't. :eek:

Mind you no washing is hung out from October to March as it won't dry so no point but even when I hang it out the door is locked when it's out.

I am really lucky, the right weather and I get dry washing year round. We bought a dryer for the first time on my life a couple of years ago, but I much prefer line and its free!

Rubbish I take on another trip out ( usually last trip at night) unless its an extreme messy situation that needs containing. Our bins are about a hundred yards from the back door, so I don't tend to make wasted trips to them in cold weather!:o

MrsE_2

Dunroamin wrote: »

Well, you need to remember to take a key with you everytime you leave the house to go into the garden, for a start!

Anyway, OT and it's probably just me.

Only my front door locks automatically, in the back I have french doors & they need to be locked with a key, so if I'm in & out of the garden I will just leave it unlocked.

claire16c

lostinrates wrote: »

Today I went into my garden nine times. I didn't need to hang any washing out today. Tomorrow I hope to do three loads of washing, so that will be an extra few trips in and out, but I can take two of the trips in and out off the list I think. My absolute minimum times to outside in a day is six, dog comfort breaks.

If you're going in and out that much then I'd assume you leave it open if you're in the house.

I don't have a dog & I don't hang washing outside so I barely have any reason to go out there now.

claire16c

MrsE wrote: »

Only my front door locks automatically, in the back I have french doors & they need to be locked with a key, so if I'm in & out of the garden I will just leave it unlocked.

Same here.

melanzana

MrsE wrote: »

Only my front door locks automatically, in the back I have french doors & they need to be locked with a key, so if I'm in & out of the garden I will just leave it unlocked.

Yes, but would you leave your patio doors unlocked if you were going to be upstairs for quite a while

catkins

claire16c wrote: »

How often do you go in the garden though?

In the summer our back door is locked unless were in the garden that day.

In the winter we barely go outside so it's locked all the time.

I don't see why you'd open it unless you were going out? And then you'd just decide whether to lock it or not based on if you think you're going out there again.

I have a young dog that some days wants to go in and out numerous times. I may hang washing out then bring it in, hang some more out and then bring that in. Go to the wheelie bin, go to the paper recycling bag, go to the glass recycling bin, go to the cardboard recycling bag. I know I am strange but I can't stand the recycling stuff sitting indoors. I have to put it in the bag/bin almost straight away, so I will get stuff through the door and put it out, then get post some of which may end up in recycling so take that out etc etc.

I also have a freezer in the garage so I may go to that once or twice a day.

In the summer I just leave the back door open - it's so much easier!

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

@soleil lune Why didn't you tell your BIL not to come round as often? How were they meant to know that you weren't ok with it if they didn't know any different? If people don't tell people that it isn't cool, then they're making a rod for their own back IMO.

Some people don't take any notice though do they? OH asked his parents endless times not to just turn up especially when they turned up and we were out and he got a load of abuse but still they did it. As I said, they would ring and say they were on the ferry to come and stay when we lived abroad when they couldn't even be sure if we were going to be there.

I also asked my neighbour in France politely not to just walk into my house. I said it wasn't really the done thing in England and I wasn't used to it and felt uncomfortable with it but she still carried on so I had to lock the door.

MrsE_2

melanzana wrote: »

Yes, but would you leave your patio doors unlocked if you were going to be upstairs for quite a while

Unlocked yes (unless I was in the shower, I never shut the bathroom door & I would feel vulnerable knowing it was all open - crazy I know), but open no, not if I was going to be upstairs a while, because of neighbours cats!

Vicky123

I don't know how anyone's drying washing this time of year, it can rain on and off all day and it's so cold. I stop hanging out washing after the first day of it being out all day and it's actually wetter than when it came out of the spin. Where in the UK can you dry outside in November?

lostinrates

Vicky123 wrote: »

I don't know how anyone's drying washing this time of year, it can rain on and off all day and it's so cold. I stop hanging out washing after the first day of it being out all day and it's actually wetter than when it came out of the spin. Where in the UK can you dry outside in November?

I'm in wiltshire. I find cold weather isn't a problem if its dry. When its wet but breezy we have a covered area outside for one of those concertina things. We manage much of the year and the dryer is a huge luxury, The main reason we have it for those weeks of unrelenting rain where it does get trickier and because we have no heating so the dryer is actually quite warm:rotfl: We have a lot of things still I wouldn't put in the dryer in any case.