Christmas guilt :(

whitewing

I kind of like the idea that there is a point in the year that the whole country * could * celebrate.

I think people put too many expectations on themselves though.

alyth

Primrose wrote: »

It's fine to do your own thing at Christmas but just remember that one day your parents won,t be around any more, or one of them might not be and you might be glad that you,d made the effort to,spend just one more festive season with them instead of a January visit.

this resonates with me so much. I don't celebrate Christmas as a personal issue because my ex ruined it for me. However, at the moment I am in deep and darkest China as an english teacher, and I would give my right leg to be able to see my parents at the moment - and I'm 43! Flights are so horrendous expensive flying from China to the UK that even in January it would cost me over £1000 for a 2 week break - and Christmas doesn't exist up here so it will be just another teacher day for me.

My parents aren't old, mid-60s and spend half their lives on vacation blowing my inheritance ;-) As someone mentioned, Christmas is over-rated, too much pressure on families, but if I'd know that last year would be the last time I'd see my parents over the festive period I'd have made so much more of it. Now all I can hope for is a skype call with no camera as the internet isn't strong enough here and that is very upsetting for me.

I get terribly annoyed now, I see so many posts with people complaining about spending time with their families over christmas. It's one day for you in the UK - for me to be able to see and hug my parents (and remember I'm a middle aged woman!) would mean so much to me.

I'd say to anyone, make the most of your family - they drive you mad for sure, my mother drives me nuts ever via email and skype! But to be able to see and talk to her and my dad face to face, is priceless for me. God forbid one of them should drop down dead or be in an accident and I'd never see nor speak to them again.

[Deleted User]

MrsE wrote: »

Either they will be open or closed.
If they are open there's no point them being there with no trade, if they are closed they won't answer the phone.

Not always - many Asian restaurant staff live-in or sleep over after Xmas eve and then travel to see family on Xmas day, so phone calls can disturb people even if the restaurant is closed.

But then it's the kind of people who phone at 8.30am to book a table who usually phone on Christmas day on the off chance without checking previously

balletshoes

i hate christmas guilt, and i don't think anyone should be sticking their noses in, whatever your plans are for 25th december.

its one day, and you'll have a far more relaxed and more meaningful time with your family after christmas, when all the madness has passed OP.

balletshoes

joolzred wrote: »

Not always - many Asian restaurant staff live-in or sleep over after Xmas eve and then travel to see family on Xmas day, so phone calls can disturb people even if the restaurant is closed.

But then it's the kind of people who phone at 8.30am to book a table who usually phone on Christmas day on the off chance without checking previously

so if the restaurant is closed, switch the landline ringer volume off/down after the Christmas Eve shift, that way no-one sleeping over is getting disturbed.

balletshoes

meritaten wrote: »

for the same reason I wouldn't go out to eat on Christmas day!
I think its awful that staff are forced to work on what should be a 'holiday'.
It is ok to say 'oh go out to eat - but doesn't anyone think that those chefs, wait or bar staff wouldn't prefer to be at home with family? rather than 'waiting' on you?
When I was young 'Nothing' was open on Christmas day! you didn't expect it to be. I am yearly expecting it to become 'just another shopping day'! as some 'chains' such as 'Spar' are open.

my best friend used to work as a waitress and absolutely loved working on Christmas Day, she'd be the first to volunteer. She'd do Christmas morning with her family, then off to work from around 11am to around 3pm for the christmas lunch bookings, then back home to her family for her own christmas dinner. She got double or triple time, and it was usually a less stressful shift than any other waitressing job she did.

my nephew and his OH are in the catering/hotel industry, both of them have recently changed jobs and this is the first one in their adult lives that neither of them are working a shift on Christmas day - they don't know how they are going to fill their time .

MrsE_2

joolzred wrote: »

Not always - many Asian restaurant staff live-in or sleep over after Xmas eve and then travel to see family on Xmas day, so phone calls can disturb people even if the restaurant is closed.

But then it's the kind of people who phone at 8.30am to book a table who usually phone on Christmas day on the off chance without checking previously

I wouldnt expect to walls to be so thin the flat upstairs would be disturbed by the phone, but if they are the simple answer is for them to unplug the phone (or turn the ringer off) when they are closed.
Its a bit ridiculous to say people shouldn't ring in case they disturb them.....
Its a business line, not their personal number.

catkins

balletshoes wrote: »

my best friend used to work as a waitress and absolutely loved working on Christmas Day, she'd be the first to volunteer. She'd do Christmas morning with her family, then off to work from around 11am to around 3pm for the christmas lunch bookings, then back home to her family for her own christmas dinner. She got double or triple time, and it was usually a less stressful shift than any other waitressing job she did.

my nephew and his OH are in the catering/hotel industry, both of them have recently changed jobs and this is the first one in their adult lives that neither of them are working a shift on Christmas day - they don't know how they are going to fill their time .

She was happy to work which is fine but how many get a choice? When I worked in retail we all had to work Christmas Eve and so many on Boxing Day and so many on New Years Day. We were not given any choice of which day and I always seemed to get Boxing Day which I hated working. My family have always spent Christmas Day and Boxing Day together.

MrsE wrote: »

I wouldnt expect to walls to be so thin the flat upstairs would be disturbed by the phone, but if they are the simple answer is for them to unplug the phone (or turn the ringer off) when they are closed.
Its a bit ridiculous to say people shouldn't ring in case they disturb them.....
Its a business line, not their personal number.

That's all true but it's a shame people don't have a bit more sense about ringing a business. My OH is self employed and our phone can ring at all hours, very early morning (before 6am) is not the unusual and late at night (11pm or later) is also not that unusual. These are not people ringing about an emergency just ignorant people who think they are so important they can ring whatever time they like

MrsE_2

catkins wrote: »

That's all true but it's a shame people don't have a bit more sense about ringing a business. My OH is self employed and our phone can ring at all hours, very early morning (before 6am) is not the unusual and late at night (11pm or later) is also not that unusual. These are not people ringing about an emergency just ignorant people who think they are so important they can ring whatever time they like

But a restaurant or take away phone will be in the restaurant or takeaway not someone's home. Selling food commercially must be done from a proper commercial kitchen, they are not running restaurant's or take aways from their own kitchens, even if they do live in flats above.
Why dont you use a mobile number & switch it off? Or get a second line/number & switch that off out of hours.

To be honest while I wouldn't ring a tradesman at unsociable hours, unless it was an emergency like a water leak, I would expect be to able to call a restaurant all hours of the day & evening.

I'm not going to be made feel I dare not call my local restaurant or take away over the festive season should I want to, they are business units & if they are open they will answer & if they aren't, then no one will be there!

Brighton_belle

alyth wrote: »

I get terribly annoyed now, I see so many posts with people complaining about spending time with their families over christmas. It's one day for you in the UK - for me to be able to see and hug my parents (and remember I'm a middle aged woman!) would mean so much to me.

I don't really understand your annoyance - you have chosen to be in China far far away. It's not like you've been conscripted and sent away.
If someone chooses to not spend Christmas day with their family because they make them feel really miserable, or they are desperate for a rest, then I would suggest it is not fair to project your own needs to try and make them feel 'bad' about that?

I am however sorry you are missing family so much and I do hope your next placement will be in a more enriching and hospitable area. I admire very much you going for your dream and appreciate sympathetically it's a bit tough for you at the moment.