My Narcisstic MIL to be

securityguy

What I fail to understand, having read a variety of MIL threads on various forums, is why anyone gets dragged into this sort of crap about weddings. We decided to get married after ten or so years of living together, organised the wedding, reception, rings, dress and so on, then told our parents the date and the location and suggested that if they wanted to come they'd be very welcome. There were a few whinges about what we'd decided to do (a total cost of a couple of week's wages, so fairly minimal) but as it was all booked and paid for, they weren't whinges that would go very far. What could be easier? I think my mother-in-law would have liked to get involved, but the issue never really arose. It strikes me that a lot of people complaining about the drama their family causes could profitably stop inviting them to take part in the drama.

newcook

I agree with others on here who say to book whatever you want and then tell them the date and time - if MIL starts to moan, tell her that she doesn’t have to come if she feels that way!

As for her wearing white, I’d be inclined to say ‘really? I always thought it makes you look rather pale/washed out and well, odd - I always thought blue/green/pink etc really brought out your eyes but if that’s the colour you’ve got your heart set on …’ and then change the conversation to something else. the seed of thought has been planted and all you have to do is watch it grow into what you want!!

RobotsinDisguse

How are you doing OP? I hope all of the support here is at least strengthening your resolve to let yourself plan the day you'd like?

With my own mother I had to cut her out of the planning as Nothing was right, either big or small, she didn't want us to be cheap and revistry office are of course "nasty" but couldn't countenance spending more than £15 a head IN TOTAL - not just food, but including room fees ect!!

So now quite a long time later.... After everyone had a lovely time.... She tries to take credit!!! From her giving me my creative and independent streak (yes maybe, but only from having to fend for yourself from very young you just get on with it!), to the choice of food being her idea! Everyone close enough to care knows she's lying! And of course while it annoyed me, it does mean it was a day Worthy of her boasting about it!!!! So don't be surprised in later years of she "rewrites" your history to suit herself! But do take it as a compliment!



- I must say thank you as well. You know I'd never thought of Narcacism as being the underlying issue of my own mother untill this thread. Yes she's a self centred nightmare who can not feel, show or even act with empathy, she has huge mood swings and must have 2 personalities which don't remember want the other said/promised etc. So thankyou for the insight.