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Nervous breakdown.
Comments
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I'm just thinking he really has his life so cushy... I've just been thinking about our finances, we both get paid averagely the same, I have about £1,200 outgoings and he has about £100-200. He holds a grudge against me if I ask him to go out and get fish and chips and he pay for it...
I know it's a bit off the main topic, but there's a lot of self-reflection at the moment.
Yes, but it's another example of his disinterest in making the relationship work.
My ex used to
Complain if I used his car (and his petrol) yet would expect me to drive everywhere - long journeys on cricket trips - everywhere. If I asked him to drive then he couldnt as motorways confused him.
Would never show any interest in anything I did - or anything I planned for the two of us to do together - holidays etc but would laze around and expect me to even pack his clothes/money/passport etc- he would make it clear that If he packed his clothes he would probably forget something important.
Couldnt be relied upon to pay a bill or organise any financial transactions - car insurance / tax / household budgeting he would either forget or lose the paperwork.
Never showed the slightest bit of interest in DIY, painting or decorating of general house improving - If he had to attempt anything then invariably he would make a complete pigs ear out of it so I wouldnt ask him again.
It was slow and insidious - this guy was intelligent - had a degree in Chemistry for god sakes but if you asked him to do anything at all then he'd almost deliberately mess it up so you wouldnt ask him again. Over 7 years he took advantage of my 'hands on' nature so I ended up doing abolutely everything bar wipe his backside. I ended up feeling totally taken for granted and used. How could he have professed to love me when he treated me like that?0 -
When all this gone on for so long both parties lose boundaries of normality. Tell me to go away if you mind me bei.g nosey , what does he spend his wages on if he has only 200 outgoings ?The word "dilemma" comes from Greek where "di" means two and "lemma" means premise. Refers usually to difficult choice between two undesirable options.
Often people seem to use this word mistakenly where "quandary" would fit better.0 -
So he lives in a house he doesn't have to pay anything for, gets fed and generally waited on for free, doesn't do any cleaning or chores and has his whole wage as disposable income to spend as he wants on fripperies?
He's set himself up nicely there.0 -
I really feel for you, it sounds like he needs to take some responsibility and start behaving like a man rather than a teenage boy. I would take his console off him. If he wants to act like a child then treat him like one. This is going to turn out horrible if something isn't done.
You say you love him, are you in love with him? Still find him attractive?0 -
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I honestly don't think these things are linked to his depression. It actually feels like he is taking me as the fool and taking the p*ss. He KNOWS what needs to be done in the house, but he makes the active decision to procrastinate and play video games, spend seven hours on them, and then forget that it needs doing. I might've phrased the OP wrong, I'm sorry I'm in a muddle.
When he first got told he had depression, I was incredibly compassionate, empathetic, I supported him so, so much. I started doing everything for him to take things off his mind. Now the way he's acting and how things are going, I feel like he is majorly taking advantage of me. The hallmarks of his depression are gone and I honestly can't see himself how he was when he was diagnosed.
And therein lies the problem, you allowed him to get away with the above and he knows you may nag him but you don't follow through
I'm afraid I would be out of there as fast as my feet could carry me as he is never going to be the person you want him to be. Sitting on computer games for 7 hours at a stretch when you have a rat infested garden shouts lazy slob to me.
I don't care how depressed he is supposed to be. My hubby and I have been married nigh on 40 years and have worked our butts off ,
coming home tired out, that has never stopped us looking after our homes and gardens0 -
When all this gone on for so long both parties lose boundaries of normality. Tell me to go away if you mind me bei.g nosey , what does he spend his wages on if he has only 200 outgoings ?
He has an absolutely gigantic overdraft that he's paying off, and gaming things. I've recently had to take his credit cards away from him as he was buying things in secret on them.0
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