Nervous breakdown.

aileth

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

Ok, so he doesn't turn nasty if you leave the jobs he won't do, what if you press him to do them (what men call nagging) and don't give up pressing.........does he get nasty then?

No, he rolls his eyes and there's a lot of, "I'll do it tomorrow", but tomorrow never comes.

KxMx

aileth wrote: »

No, he rolls his eyes and there's a lot of, "I'll do it tomorrow", but tomorrow never comes.

Because he knows despite you asking him you will do it in the end. And he can't be bothered.
That's what it sounds like to me.

Mojisola

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

Ok, so he doesn't turn nasty if you leave the jobs he won't do, what if you press him to do them (what men call nagging) and don't give up pressing.........does he get nasty then?

A relationship usually needs some work to keep it going but only if both people are working at it.

If all the effort has to come from one side, it's not worth it.

Why should she move into the role of a mother with a truculent teenager just to get him to do basic chores?

CRANKY40

My 8 year old son washes himself without being told and puts his clothes in the dirty laundry basket every night. He also does any small jobs around the house that I ask him to do without moaning. I'm a widow so there's only me and him and if an 8 year old can see that it wouldn't be fair for me to do everything and pick up after him as well........

I have to say your mum and dad's floor sounds a good deal compared to what you have now. If you lived near us I'd lend you my spare room so you could get away from this slob of a man-child. Three months after you have left him you will wonder what you ever saw in him and how you came to be so brainwashed.

pingufan

It boils down to the fact he has NO respect for you or for himself!

My now husband wouldn't behave like that as he loves me, our home and our kids and is a responsible and grown up man!

HPoirot

I agree the bottom line is respect.

paddy's_mum

aileth wrote: »

"I'll do it tomorrow", but tomorrow never comes.

Which is why I said that he is dishonest. He knows full well that he is treating you badly but his behaviour says loud and clear that what you want is completely and utterly irrelevant!

He is, at rock bottom, completely dishonest. He is being unfair, unkind, taking every last thing or skill or effort you have to give but not giving in return, dumping both on you and on the marriage, lying to the people who love him ...in short, he's an unfeeling, selfish swine!

You might choose to call that love - I call it treachery. You don't pour stress and pain on someone you say you love and then expect to be believed.

You do realise that you are being 100% cheated, don't you?

Please, please take care of your mental health. Perhaps go and see your firm's personnel officer for a few days leave. Mental health problems can occur so easily but can cause irreparable damage and I'm not the only one who fears for you.

Time out, aileth, and time to care for yourself because you have only yourself to rely upon. Don't struggle on alone, will you?

aileth

I'm just thinking he really has his life so cushy... I've just been thinking about our finances, we both get paid averagely the same, I have about £1,200 outgoings and he has about £100-200. He holds a grudge against me if I ask him to go out and get fish and chips and he pay for it...

I know it's a bit off the main topic, but there's a lot of self-reflection at the moment.

Blackpool_Saver

Mojisola wrote: »

A relationship usually needs some work to keep it going but only if both people are working at it.

If all the effort has to come from one side, it's not worth it.

Why should she move into the role of a mother with a truculent teenager just to get him to do basic chores?

Errrrr what? when did I say that? I was merely trying to ascertain if it did become violent or not. It is not my place to tell anyone what to do, neither is it yours, please don't talk down to me. I have lived with a narcissist and I am fully aware of all these traits I promise you.

Blackpool_Saver

aileth wrote: »

No, he rolls his eyes and there's a lot of, "I'll do it tomorrow", but tomorrow never comes.

He is using you, and he will use the next and the next. Make your escape now.