Nervous breakdown.

tea_lover

Was he different before his depression started? Has he always been like this (while you've been with him)?

HPoirot

aileth wrote: »

He only lived with his mum growing up and had a fairly tough childhood, but yes most things were done for him. His ex-wife did EVERYTHING for him as well, including taking care of his finances. She left him because she received no support. Honestly, I thought it was nasty of her to begin with, but I'm actually starting to think she had a point.

The story of his life really, more to do with laziness than depression if you ask me. Sorry if this sounds harsh.

aileth

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

What is he like with you when you stop enabling him/just look after yourself.........does he ever turn nasty?

No, he just shrugs and continues doing nothing. If I don't do things for him or ask him to do things, he doesn't do it, and when I had a mini strike he continued that way until I had enough from the BO smell. I stopped cooking for him for two days and he ate nothing in those two days apart from a twirl bar.

pingufan

Ugh, reminds me of my ex who was EXACTLY the same. I ended up falling for, then marrying a work colleague who was a proper 'man' in every way, fully responsible, kind, caring and helps me raise our lovely kids - he puts as much into the relationship as I do . I have honestly never been happier and as soon as I left it was like a great weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

Yes, I guess I loved my ex but I was like his mother and I'm so glad I didnt waste my life on him. After 15 years with my husband I know I did the right thing in kicking the ex into touch.

andygb

aileth wrote: »

He says he does, but I don't know. He probably loves me for making his life cushy, but not as a wife. I don't feel like a wife.

Aileth, I do not think that you should have to put up with his behaviour, and I DO agree with you that he is probably using "depression" as an excuse to get out of doing things around the house.
I also believe that the gaming is addictive - highly addictive, and an addict will always find ways of feeding their addiction.
I know that this may seem a bit extreme, but have you ever considered mediation of some kind - Relate or marriage guidance?
This is a bad situation for you to be in, because it is damaging your health, to the point where you probably have more serious problems than him.

aileth

Mojisola wrote: »

You know how this is going to end, don't you?

Why keep dragging it out?

First question yes.

Second question, I honestly don't know. I can't answer.

HPoirot

Is there anyway you can march him to some form of AA for gaming? I'm sure they exist?

paidinchickens

Next door to us have exactly the same problem.

They nearly split last year, she helped him look for somewhere else and helped fetch boxes for the move.

Deposit paid he decided to "change" two days before moving out :rotfl:

Realised which side his bread is buttered if you ask me.

They seem better this year HTH

PiC x

aileth

tea_lover wrote: »

Was he different before his depression started? Has he always been like this (while you've been with him)?

He was only diagnosed with depression maybe a year ago, but was the same for a good couple of years before that.

He was a wonderful, thoughtful and helpful man when I first met him, very independent and didn't need to ask him to do anything.

pingufan

aileth wrote: »

I love him, I can't imagine leaving him, but I can't take anymore. I could go to my parents, but I'd have to sleep on an airbed in their living room and it would be an hour commute to my work on expensive trains. My best friend lives even further away.

I felt that I couldnt imagine leaving the ex either until I starting having feeling for someone else. You then realise that your only staying for convenience sake. LIFE IS TOO SHORT TAKE IT FROM ME! x