Nervous breakdown.

Blackpool_Saver

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

During this week; please buy a new lock for the door; it literally takes minutes to change. One week from today, whilst he is out getting tea [from a chippy?] just change it. Or book a man to come and do it for you.

Remember - marriage is only a bit of paper.

Depends on the marriage and which type of service/promise BUT yes, I think it's come to "hey lads hey"

Blackpool_Saver

HPoirot wrote: »

More to do with the gaming, I'm sure?

You know I think it is divorcing him from reality/zoning him out, but he does appear to have blunted emotions

BitterAndTwisted

Aileth: I know how attractive an escape-fantasy might be in your situation but please DO NOT under any circumstances whatsoever leave the house and go anywhere. If it comes to it, he must be the person who leaves. It's your house, it's in your name and he's never contributed a single penny towards it. Please don't risk him having a claim on it by abandoning it to him

Blackpool_Saver

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Aileth: I know how attractive an escape-fantasy might be in your situation but please DO NOT under any circumstances whatsoever leave the house and go anywhere. If it comes to it, he must be the person who leaves. It's your house, it's in your name and he's never contributed a single penny towards it. Please don't risk him having a claim on it by abandoning it to him

I'll say, maybe this is his plan, is he that cunning and devious though, surely not from what we have read

BitterAndTwisted

What I would do is to begin the financial-disassociation stuff first. That joint-account with the stonking overdraft needs to be sorted asap

aileth

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

I'll say, maybe this is his plan, is he that cunning and devious though, surely not from what we have read

I really doubt a man who doesn't use deodrant for two weeks because he's expecting his wife to notice and buy him a new one would have the capacity to plan some evil scheme to get a house with maybe a thousand pounds of equity in it, in an area he doesn't like.

CH27

So what is your plan of action Aileth?

Blackpool_Saver

aileth wrote: »

I really doubt a man who doesn't use deodrant for two weeks because he's expecting his wife to notice and buy him a new one would have the capacity to plan some evil scheme to get a house with maybe a thousand pounds of equity in it, in an area he doesn't like.

Good, I like the feisty sarcasm, you won't let this man drag you down ;-)

Now start the separation process

lostinrates

aileth wrote: »

We've had a long talk (I say talk, not going to lie I got a bit heated, I've had a lot to think about all day).

I'm not sure he sees or understands where I'm coming from, simply that hell do more to 'help', no specifics.

I haven't told him, but I'm giving him a week and see what happens. I told him how many times I've been five minutes away from hopping on the train and going home, I even got to the station once, and that I think about it every day after work and my bus goes past the station. He seemed quite shocked by that.

Sorry if that's short and condensed but I can't remember a lot even though it just happened, my mind is racing.

I'm certainly not going to defend him, but I think you should be clear about your intentions.

Its seems to me that a lot of the complaints in relationships are lack of clarity about communication.

I am blunt to a fault in mine, saying what I think, and asking if he thinks that's fair and what his thoughts are then , when that's dealt with I say right, so this is what I feel I need.....this to be at this point by x date.


He can not like it and renegotiate it, but at least it gets dialogue open, clear and flowing.

I am remembering you are not dealing with such a willing partner, but I still think for your sake you need to be as upfront and clear in your communication as you can be.

(This serves us well, we've argued three times in ten years, all my fault, and my instigation, mainly because I like a bit of a row to clear the air....(ingrained bad habits I've mainly got over and he's my best ally in this) ..:(. But I work hard at communication because I know its the lynch pin of success, not a row as I would go for or avoidance as he might! )

aileth

CH27 wrote: »

So what is your plan of action Aileth?

He's asked for time to sort it out, and I've said yes. I agree with you, Lostinrates. I have told him now what I plan and he seemed rather disheartened, but tbh I'm a bit past being suckered in and feeling bad about saying what I really feel.

If he has sweet f-all in a week, I'm packing the dog and going to my parents.