Nervous breakdown.

HPoirot

aileth wrote: »

thorsoak wrote: »

I had asked him to take things to the tip. There was a table, microwave and some cardboard. He had loaded the car with the table and microwave, I asked him why not the cardboard, he said hell put that out with the bin, I asked why it hasn't been put out with the bin before (I didn't think it could due to size), and literally had to coerce/force him into taking it.

He's done that then bunged a cable in. I can see it now and it's literally a 30 minute job, he's literally just connected the cable to the PC, no 'installation', and he's put the cable in at least two tripping up points and two doors can't close properly now.

The kitchen is the same as it was this morning and the garden is stills state, so essentially he's done the thing I've asked him, done the cable, then thought there's nothing else to do because I haven't mentioned it and gone on the computer for hours.

I don't know if he's had a shower yet.

Even a bone idle sloth would hurry to get everything sorted if they are afraid they're in for a telling off, here it's almost as if he is sticking two fingers up at you, he's done the bare minimum, fobs you off with a few lies as usual and that will help pass your sudden craze. Honestly I really think he doesn't give a monkey's as to how you feel, it's almost as if he's enjoying winding you up. I'm sure though he'll be making all the right noises just to calm you down and get things back to where they have been lately.

lostinrates

What were they days off for? Had he plans for them? Does he get more days off than you?

Mojisola

aileth wrote: »

I've got home and he hasn't touched the kitchen and has apparently spent eight hours installing a hard wired Internet cable and taking a microwave to the tip. I bloody despair.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

There's his answer to your email then - he's saying '**** you, Aileth'. But not actually got the balls to say it to your face.

Absolutely agree with Jojo.

He got that email off you and has been at home all day and done nothing? - a normal reaction would be for you to come home to a spotless house with a contrite OH waiting to apologise.

He doesn't care a jot for you!

aileth

lostinrates wrote: »

What were they days off for? Had he plans for them? Does he get more days off than you?

He took them as holiday as he has some spare that need using, no reason for taking them.

No plans for them.

Yes, considering he gets holiday leave and I don't. I'm essentially self-employed/freelane and if I have a day off, I lose a day's pay, so I take the bare minimum only when I'm in bed dying.

He has three days of this week in total, so one more than me. I thought he could spend that one day getting his sh*t in order. Seems not.

Errata

Give him a list of jobs and a list of the consequences of not doing the jobs on it. At the moment he's getting away with murder because you let him. Moaning at him is just a minor and short lived inconvenience for him and if you moan regularly it's nothing more than noise on the line which he can so very easily ignore. And does.
It takes two to tango until one of you stops dancing. He won't, you can.

paulineb_2

aileth wrote: »

He took them as holiday as he has some spare that need using, no reason for taking them.

No plans for them.

Yes, considering he gets holiday leave and I don't. I'm essentially self-employed/freelane and if I have a day off, I lose a day's pay, so I take the bare minimum only when I'm in bed dying.

He has three days of this week in total, so one more than me. I thought he could spend that one day getting his sh*t in order. Seems not.

I would also agree with the posters who say, do your own cooking and washing. He has two hands doesnt he?

He knows how to work a washing machine? If he doesnt, he will soon learn.

And who will be cooking dinner tonight, you or him?

aileth

I literally feel exhausted. I got pretty much no work done at work today over it all, and I can feel the fight draining out of me.

He left as soon as I got home to get dinner. It normally takes him 20 minutes, he's been gone over an hour. I've text him asking if he really wants me to believe that a trip down the road to the skip and bunging a cable in really takes seven hours, so think he is staying away. I really just want to go to sleep.

paulineb_2

Errata wrote: »

Give him a list of jobs and a list of the consequences of not doing the jobs on it. At the moment he's getting away with murder because you let him. Moaning at him is just a minor and short lived inconvenience for him and if you moan regularly it's nothing more than noise on the line which he can so very easily ignore. And does.
It takes two to tango until one of you stops dancing. He won't, you can.

Hes getting away with murder because hes too lazy to do anything around the house and she has to do all the jobs he wont.

But i agree, hes just slinging a deaf ear to anything she says.

paulineb_2

aileth wrote: »

I literally feel exhausted. I got pretty much no work done at work today over it all, and I can feel the fight draining out of me.

He left as soon as I got home to get dinner. It normally takes him 20 minutes, he's been gone over an hour. I've text him asking if he really wants me to believe that a trip down the road to the skip and bunging a cable in really takes seven hours, so think he is staying away. I really just want to go to sleep.

The thing is, if you dont stand up for yourself, in a months time you'll be starting another similar thread, then another, then another.

Hes now staying away because he doesnt want to hear anything you have to say?

I really do think one of you has to move out for a few days until you can actually talk this over with someone and decide whether your marriage is worth saving.

Hes calling all the shots. And its now affecting your work, I bet it wont be affecting his.

Mojisola

aileth wrote: »

I literally feel exhausted. I got pretty much no work done at work today over it all, and I can feel the fight draining out of me.

He left as soon as I got home to get dinner. It normally takes him 20 minutes, he's been gone over an hour. I've text him asking if he really wants me to believe that a trip down the road to the skip and bunging a cable in really takes seven hours, so think he is staying away. I really just want to go to sleep.

Make something quick like beans on toast for yourself and then get to bed.

Stop bothering yourself over what he's doing or thinking.

Put yourself first!