Asking out a girl who I work with?

vart400

Hiya! Wondering if I could get some advice? I've never asked anything like this on a forum before.

There is this new girl at work, she's been there about a month now. We both work in the same department and I have developed feelings for her. I think a couple of people have picked up on this as they smile when I mention her name. I've been thinking about the best way to ask her out for a drink or something without her feeling embarrassed. I'm quite a shy person so this sort of thing is hard for me.
I'm pretty sure she's single and I don't want to leave it too long as I know that someone else might ask her before me. I've spent the past week updating my wardrobe so I look nice and fresh, I just wish I had the confidence to go with it. :undecided

co-op_lover

vart400 wrote: »

Hiya! Wondering if I could get some advice? I've never asked anything like this on a forum before.

There is this new girl at work, she's been there about a month now. We both work in the same department and I have developed feelings for her. I think a couple of people have picked up on this as they smile when I mention her name. I've been thinking about the best way to ask her out for a drink or something without her feeling embarrassed. I'm quite a shy person so this sort of thing is hard for me.
I'm pretty sure she's single and I don't want to leave it too long as I know that someone else might ask her before me. I've spent the past week updating my wardrobe so I look nice and fresh, I just wish I had the confidence to go with it. :undecided

Do you work at my local co-op ? If you do back off

Weequine

I'd seen countless others get together through work, some worked, some didn't. I said I'd never take the risk but I did. I was with a coworker for 5 years. We had a fabulous relationship in the beginning and always, always said that we would not allow our personal life to interfere with work or vice versa. Of course that didn't happen.

I won't go into what occured because it's not really relevant to your question but think about this:

If you have an argument, can you handle getting emails and dirty looks at work as well as texts and phone calls at home? Can you deal with your coworkers thinking that they 'own' aspects of your relationship? If it goes wrong, can you handle an atmosphere at work and the gossipmill desperate for either of you to dish the dirt on the other so that they have something to talk about?

I am quite level headed and thought I could. I also thought the bloke in question would always be decent about things if they went wrong, but he wasn't and I never saw that in him until it was too late. I almost handed in my notice over it, I felt so uncomfortable.

If you don't plan on working there the rest of your life, fair dos... if however this is a career, or a job you can't leave easily because of other commitments, really think about those things before you take the plunge.

I'm not saying it can't work out - of course it can, lots of people have done it. Just seriously consider the consequences of things going wrong. Also check if your workplace has a policy on coworker relationships. Mine did but it didn't stop us from dating. Kinda wish it had now!!

tigerwhite_2

vart400 wrote: »

Hiya! Wondering if I could get some advice? I've never asked anything like this on a forum before.

There is this new girl at work, she's been there about a month now. We both work in the same department and I have developed feelings for her. I think a couple of people have picked up on this as they smile when I mention her name. I've been thinking about the best way to ask her out for a drink or something without her feeling embarrassed. I'm quite a shy person so this sort of thing is hard for me.
I'm pretty sure she's single and I don't want to leave it too long as I know that someone else might ask her before me. I've spent the past week updating my wardrobe so I look nice and fresh, I just wish I had the confidence to go with it. :undecided

Hello. I stumbled across your question. If you don't want to put too much emphasis on a date at night/ outside of work, why don't you test the waters first by seeing if she wants to have a coffee with you on your break/ at lunch time? That way, you will both still feel comfortable and won't feel pressured. Assuming that then goes well, then you can suggest a real date outside of work. Really hope it works out for you.
I think you sound lovely

Sunshinemummy

tigerwhite wrote: »

Hello. I stumbled across your question. If you don't want to put too much emphasis on a date at night/ outside of work, why don't you test the waters first by seeing if she wants to have a coffee with you on your break/ at lunch time? That way, you will both still feel comfortable and won't feel pressured. Assuming that then goes well, then you can suggest a real date outside of work. Really hope it works out for you.
I think you sound lovely

I agree with tiger, test the water first and build things slowly. I also think you sound lovely.

;););)

shegirl

tigerwhite wrote: »

Hello. I stumbled across your question. If you don't want to put too much emphasis on a date at night/ outside of work, why don't you test the waters first by seeing if she wants to have a coffee with you on your break/ at lunch time? That way, you will both still feel comfortable and won't feel pressured. Assuming that then goes well, then you can suggest a real date outside of work. Really hope it works out for you.
I think you sound lovely

Agreed.And you do sound lovely!

Splabo

Yes say you are going for a coffee and ask her if you can get her one too, then if that goes well you can say......"so fancy a shag then?"

If she says no ask for the price of the coffee back

maintenanceman

Park date with picnic and connect four followed by sunset and cuddles.

vart400

Thank you all for the kind words. You bought a smile to my face and a tear to my eye. I will let you know how it goes! This week I will make my move

maintenanceman

good luck mate. yu seem like a decent guyI wish you all the best

[Deleted User]

Speaking from experience, Weequine has a good point, you do have to be prepared for the uncomfortable atmosphere, and being the butt of the office gossip for a while if it breaks up.