The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

codemonkey

tea_lover wrote: »

code - fwiw, I'd still go. It's far too early for you both to be making any long-term decisions (imo) and it never hurts to have the information so at least you get a full picture of what you're dealing with.

It may be that later on you look at sperm donation, embryo donation, other procedures for OH, etc. It may be that you don't of course - totally up to you. But it won't hurt to have this test done to add to your overall information to be making those decision with, iyswim.

Hugs poppet xx.

lisawood78 wrote: »

Code, FWIW i'd still go also. Get it done then you have a full picture. You never know what the future holds.

If you don't then need it further down the line for whatever reason then you will kick yourself.

Good luck and thinking of you x

Thanks ladies. I was thinking I'd keep going until its definitely over, but wasn't sure if that was selfish.

Last night DH was telling me about a colleague who got divorced because she didn't want children and then married and had kids with someone else. I'm not sure if that was just him chatting about his new colleagues or if he was trying to tell me something. If it was a loaded message, I'm ignoring it. Took me long enough to find someone willing to marry me. :rotfl:

vesper

Defintely go code, you've waited your turn, so go. Better to go than not and regret that you didn't (even if it is to tick a box on a mental list).


I don't venture on to the ttc forum anymore, I just find myself jealous of that initial feeling of hope they all have. You know the 'oooo I've been trying a month, no doubt I'll fall pregnant this month and every symptom is proof'. I know that feeling never goes away but I hope you understand what I mean.


Another one that agrees with 'Up' they dealt with it so fantastically.


At the moment don't know what I would do without you gals, I feel I can't talk to my friends in real life about this, as they are either pregnant after 1 second of trying (ok ok maybe an over exaggeration, but it was the first month) or don't want children. Right now I just want to talk to someone about how I feel about all of this, even if its just an aid to get my own head around it. I just can't help but feel a gut instinct now that having children is just not going to happen for us.
I'm so terrified that these tests just aren't going to show anything or they say that they can't help. We could never afford private IVF, and try as much as I can I can't budge any weight at all.
I've been trying so hard to lose weight, but haven't lost so much as a lb despite exercising, going to the gym, eating healthily.

codemonkey

vesper wrote: »

Defintely go code, you've waited your turn, so go. Better to go than not and regret that you didn't (even if it is to tick a box on a mental list).


I don't venture on to the ttc forum anymore, I just find myself jealous of that initial feeling of hope they all have. You know the 'oooo I've been trying a month, no doubt I'll fall pregnant this month and every symptom is proof'. I know that feeling never goes away but I hope you understand what I mean.


Another one that agrees with 'Up' they dealt with it so fantastically.


At the moment don't know what I would do without you gals, I feel I can't talk to my friends in real life about this, as they are either pregnant after 1 second of trying (ok ok maybe an over exaggeration, but it was the first month) or don't want children. Right now I just want to talk to someone about how I feel about all of this, even if its just an aid to get my own head around it. I just can't help but feel a gut instinct now that having children is just not going to happen for us.
I'm so terrified that these tests just aren't going to show anything or they say that they can't help. We could never afford private IVF, and try as much as I can I can't budge any weight at all.
I've been trying so hard to lose weight, but haven't lost so much as a lb despite exercising, going to the gym, eating healthily.

Vesper, have you had your thyroid checked out? That could be a reason for not losing weight and can cause problems with ttc. You should ask for those tests if you haven't had them already, just in case. I sympathise. I've never been great at losing weight, and I'm on amitriptyline which makes it impossible. I've been doing 5:2 for weeks now and I just keep losing and gaining the same 6lbs.

time2deal

Vesper - I always think of you as a petite little thing! I think it's your avatar.

I think what makes it hard is that other people just don't have the patience. Remember that lady who came on here asking for advice on dealing with a friend, and then complained the next day that she was going on and on about it! Most people just don't get how overwhelming the whole thing can be, and they just want bullet point updates. No-one other than you lovely ladies would listen to my daily ramblings on the issue!!

ETA: Oh, and because a Vesper is such a cute little bike!

time2deal

Bizarelly, I think I'm losing a little weight at the moment. I think because I have banned myself from chocolate and ice-cream. Makes me realise how much of that I eat...

and wine..

tea_lover

vesper - do you have PCOS? Can make it v hard to lose weight.

Ooh T2D how irritating was that woman?!?

codemonkey

time2deal wrote: »

Vesper - I always think of you as a petite little thing! I think it's your avatar.

I think what makes it hard is that other people just don't have the patience. Remember that lady who came on here asking for advice on dealing with a friend, and then complained the next day that she was going on and on about it! Most people just don't get how overwhelming the whole thing can be, and they just want bullet point updates. No-one other than you lovely ladies would listen to my daily ramblings on the issue!!

I think most just can't understand how devastating it is. They look at it like it's just disappointment - like "I can't have a baby" is on a par with "I couldn't get that lovely top in my size", whereas to us it's a massive, heartbreaking and almost debilitating thing. It doesn't help that the media and soaps in particular either show infertility as the crazy baby stealing kind, or its resolved by sleeping with someone else, or it's just mentioned and then resolved really quickly - like Monica and Chandler in Friends. "Ohh we can't have a baby. Oh look we've applied to adopt and someone is giving us a baby now".

tea_lover

Woah woah woah young lady! I'll put up with a lot of things but I won't have you dissing Friends .

time2deal

tea_lover wrote: »

vesper - do you have PCOS? Can make it v hard to lose weight.

Ooh T2D how irritating was that woman?!?

And there was some quite restrained 'please go away' comments from us all! Have you also noticed that the 'there are too many pregnancy threads' thread has been shifted. One less thread now!

vesper

Ha I am most certainly not petite. I'm a very solid size 18 and need to lose an awful lot of weight. I do two dance sessions a week, plus the gym, and swimming once a week, it just hasn't helped at all.


I used to be slim, but when I turned 18 I went on the pill and my weight shot up within 2 months. It's never come off again.
I can't tolerate a lot of fatty or processed food, so my diet is very healthy, all home made and mainly veg based. I don't even eat a lot of bread, and what I do is home made.


I am going to have a word with my doctor in the next few weeks I think as this is going to put me in a poor position with tests and going further with ttc. Even the doctor I spoke to at the hospital said that obviously I could only go so far now because of my weight.




My avatar is because I have ferrets and he is a Japanese cartoon about a Okojo (which is like a wild ferret).