The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

time2deal

Day 3 in the PUPO house. How are you going Peonie? Any more news from WTDN? Did you get any frosties?

I'm feeling average today. Not looking forward to a work drinks tonight that I have to go to. When I leave my job I'm not going to do any kind of farewell drinks, they are always the same. A few slightly uncomfortable people realising that they only have work in common, and trying to make small talk. And there is always less than expected, so you can't leave as otherwise the poor leaving person is upset. And me pretending to drink...

Plus the only two things I really care about, IVF and moving to Oz, are off limits as conversations! I can't tell them about planning to leave because a) if the IVF works them I'm staying for mat leave, and b) if it doesn't I'm sticking around for the bonus. And I know they give less bonus to people if they are leaving.

Of course, linked to that is things like deciding when (if) we sell the house, planning for new jobs, deciding where to live etc. All totally life encompassing, and relatively interesting, but I can't talk about them! They must think me very dull!! Which is largely true.

No cramps today (so now I'm worrying if I should be getting cramps). Also no chocolate. None since Sunday. This could be the longest I have ever gone without chocolate.

Whattodonow

Hi all,

Ok mammoth catch-up and post.

Happy bday for yesterday tea

Sorry Floaty, cwtw and PM for your in limbo status. What this whole long journey has taught me is that you definitely have your patience tested. cwtw - better you don't get prescribed clomid if you don't need it. Maybe something more effective might happen? PM - I second Rowin's suggestion of an emergency appointment. All this blood loss can't be good for you. Are you on iron? I do worry about you.

Dani - I used a CBFM, and found it easy to use and took the pressure off BD all the time. However, I didn't get preggers so...

Congrats to your OH Vesper!

lisawood - exciting news about your surrogacy. What an amazing friend

BIG hugs to you Sewit. You will get through it - keep telling yourself that. And take it easy on yourself xxx

clever - are they going to do anything about your fibroids? I'm clueless about these I'm afraid. But of course, whatever is worrying you, post about it!

Frozen - best wishes to your FIL, hope he is recovering well. Make sure you get some rest when you can as I'm sure running round will leave you exhausted. Remember to look after yourself too.

Code - hugs to you too. I remember my OH walking in when I was watching UP and in floods of tears at that bit! Couldn't even get my words out to explain to him what I was crying at! I thought it was really well done.

Proper update from me. ET was amazing (if undignified). The procedure room was right next to the lab. We got to see the blast on a TV screen, then watch it get sucked up into the tube thing. Then straight into the room and into me (didn't feel a thing). then they emptied the catheter, again on the screen, to prove it had gone in. Then I was straight up, dressed and out.

Overwhelmed afterwards. Went to sleep most of afternoon and woke up today, headachy, tired and with a strong feeling it hasn't worked. Ah well, time will tell. Pea - you were right 2/2 is my test date. is 31st yours? Did you get the test date on a piece of paper? Sorry about your sister, but great news it hasn't spread - very positive xxx

They only put some of embryos in embryoscope. A lot of them are left - we have at least 5 frosties. Will get the full total in a letter.

Good luck Rowin! this new cycle seems to have come round quickly, Hoping this is the one for you xxx

T2D - hope drinks go OK and you don't get any questions about why you aren't drinking

Peonie

I'm still getting cramps. Felt a bit crap today so thought I might have to go home but didn't. When we got home there was a letter from the hospital. The other 2 frosties did not make it so we still have 2 in the freezer. It's made me slightly concerned that I'll have to go through the whole process again.

WTDN, I felt sick during ET. She had to do quite a bit of prodding to try and find my uterus. Yes, my test date is the 31st and I got the paper to send back. Thanks for letting me know about the booklet. Is your OHSS going? If they did not put all your embies in embroscope were they in an incubator?

If this, or any cycle, does not work I'm concerned about the pain and I'm used to pain from having endo. The EC pain was the same as I experienced when miscarrying. The ET lady also said she could not give an indication when aunt flo would arrive so I can't even plan when to be off work. This cycle has got to work.

Sorry if I'm bringing anyone down but it's what's going through my head.

Did I tell you one of the staff said not to worry about the embryo falling out? She said the uterus does not have a cavity, as I always had imagined it had, but it only forms when pregnant. Well, that's something I did not know.

T2D, I went travelling many years ago and it was hard not telling my colleagues during all the planning and excitement.

Tomorrow there's a works party and I can't tell anyone I have to leave early because of medication.

Thanks for your messages about my sister.

time2deal

Ha! Glad its not just me. I researched if the embryo could fall out too! I found one site that said it was like a peppercorn in a peanut butter sandwich. Not like a peppercorn in a balloon like I imagined.

Whattodonow

Omg I did that too! Also heard the raspberry pip in a jam sandwich!! Haha!!

tea_lover

Me too! It's hard not to think of it like a raspberry pip floating in a balloon. This really will be tmi but I was scared to poo lol.

Whattodonow

Although I'm not sure I believe it. Felt a bit wet leaving the hospital and thought it could be the egg already escaped.

Sorry it was painful for you peonie. That sucks.

Bloatings basically gone now TG

Peonie

Then why do diagrams make the uterus look like it has a cavity! It now makes sense that it looked flat on the ultrasound.

bigmomma051204

Why is it that so many people get "af symptoms" and then it turns out to be a BFP?

My "af sypmtoms" ALWAYS just turn out to be a BFF. (Big Fat Failure)





Going to HAVE to learn to stay off that other board from now on. I really am turning into the Pregnancy Grinch

Off to hug my achey, " lets be honest it's going to be AF" tummy. Oh and cry a little bit. Also, because DH has given up smoking (as you know - a MUCH bigger deal than when I gave up.....!) he is in a foul mood.

Life sucks.

GlasweJen

sorry I've not been talking much, I have been lurking and I hope everyone is well.

part mouse - sorry you're going through this, can your doctor not recommend something to control the bleeding? or at least test your blood and make sure you're not going to end up anaemic?

WTDN and T2D what's PUPO? lol, i'm rubbish with these acronyms but I hope it's a good thing and your embryos stick!

tealover are you getting IVF too?


I saw my neurologist at the start of the week and got some very mixed news, I'm getting a muscle biopsy to check that I don't have mitochondrial disease. If I do have it then we can't use my mitochondrial DNA or we risk the baby being like me so bad news is we might need an egg donor, good news is the neurologist is going to refer me to a fertility specialist here in Glasgow AND also to a specialist in either Manchester or Newcastle (can't remember which!) to get mitochondrial genetic testing and also if needed there's a specialist there who gets donor eggs, removes the human DNA and tranfers in my DNA so that genetically the child that is produced is mine and OHs but doesn't have the same mitochondria as me so can't get this illness (if that's what it is). I can't really say I understand it at all to be honest but I feel like it's a minor victory.

This whole having a baby thing seems so unnecesarily complicated. I was explaing all the above to a work friend today and was overheard by a colleague who I don't really know all that well and she got really offended that we'd remove the donor human DNA because she's adopted and feels like I don't respect that not all families are conventional???? I don't even know if we will go through with that procedure and at this stage where the egg comes from and what's in it doesn't really bother me right now but she's totally blanking me now so no idea what I should say to her except maybe that she shouldn't have been listening into a private conversation (but I feel like that's rude).


Oh and thank you for adding me to the list time2deal