The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

Derby2

Rubbish-I wrote a reply then lost it.

T2D: I'm glad some positive things are happening, and your doctor sounds great. I've had to battle with home insurance companies in the past so you have my sympathies, but I can't even begin to imagine how much more difficult it is when it's such an emotional subject.

9 eggs is a great number WW. Fingers crossed the eggies have been kissing the spermies (that's how it works in my head) and you get a good phonecall today. I've decided not to test early because I have so many AF symptoms and so few PG symptoms that I'd rather she caught up with me than I see the BFN. Besides, I have a lovely weekend planned with my lovely, lovely friend and I don't want to be depressed!

How are you RG? I'm still hanging in there thank you, but AF is due today and she really does feel like she's going to show. I checked my cervix last night and it is beautifully open which in my limited knowledge of pregnancy isn't a good sign!

Crikey Peonie! That's a quick turnaround-how exciting!

cwtw

Morning all.

Exciting times ww hope you get a positive update about your eggs today.

Sorry about your news star that's rubbish. Has your husband tried all the supplements/walnuts etc advice as they can help a bit with poor counts etc.

Good luck loveactually at the start of your journey.

Glad you've had some more positive news again t2d sounds like that doctor is fighting your corner.

sewit I'm with you in the bad cd1. I'm crampy and hurty here, but most of all I want to KILL EVERYONE which is not conducive to a positive working environment!

Afm, I had fs appointment number 2 this week. We're going to be offered at least 6 months clomid, but our clinic doesn't do treatment... So I have to wait 6-8 weeks for referral to treatment clinic. Slightly peeved, but the only positive is if we have to go down ivf it would be offered at the same place and they'd know us already. So onwards and upwards.

Take care all.

angeltreats

Derby, 9 eggs!!! That's fantastic. Let's hope they are all fabulous and you end up with 9 embies.

In an hour we have our very first FS appointment. I have no idea really what to expect but am a bag of nerves. I am going to wear waterproof mascara as I'm sure the tears will come.

Bit late asking this now I suppose but does anyone know if they are able to offer counselling etc? I'm finding it increasingly hard to cope and am pretty sure the infertility business on top of all the other horrible stuff that's happened this year is making me depressed (stupid self-diagnosis from the NHS website but I could tick off every single symptom). I'm very reluctant to even consider antidepressants though.

star02

This is how my conversation went last night:

Me "Forms have gone off but they are a little concerned as your count is less than <1m but will retest once referred"

Husband "I am not surprised"

Me "Why?"

Husband "I did the sample and went to leave to drop off but car was frosted off so I left it on top of car whilst defrosted windscreen"

Could of killed him there and then last night

SewIt_2

WW - 9 eggs, amazing, well done you! Fingers crossed they got jiggy last night. Keep us posted with their progress!

T2D - sounds like great progress! When will you get the op? x

Peonie - exciting, EC will be soon for you! Keep us posted on how you are getting on. x

Star - bloody men! Just leaving it to sit there! Maybe mention this to FS to see if they can test again as it might not be accurate!

Angletreats - big hugs honey! Every clinic must offer counselling to get licensed, so there will be a counsellor at yours. Contact them now as mine had a two month waiting list. If you really feel like you are not coping right now, then look to see if your NHS has a relaxation/stress reduction initiative. Mine does and they posted me a free CD with relaxation tips on it. Also see if your work has an employee assistance programme as often you can access a counsellor for free through these. I got 8 sessions with my work and although it was not fertility counselling, it was good to talk. You are not alone and can use us as a mini counselling service though xxxx

Derby - sorry you feel like AF is on her way. I hope not and I never know, but as I said to RG, you know your own body best and sometimes you just know. I did 5 days before test day. Big hugs and take it easy. xx

RG - how are you and DH? Taking one day at a time? x

CWTW - arrrggg, I still have the urge to kill people. Feeling a bit better today, but still crampy so dosed up on pain killers and slapping a smile on my face, cause what else can I do?

Tea - where are you? You've been very quiet, hope you are ok honey?

AFM - well, as yesterday was CD1 and I didn't call the clinic, we are now officially waiting for the next cycle to start the IVF. Just felt like the right and natural decision. Maybe I'm not ready, maybe I just want to relax and forget about things a bit more. Although I will need to spend the next few weeks trying to contact the clinic about a few things, like what if CD1 is on Christmas day, can I call when they open again? And when and how do I get the endo scratch that I'd like to get done? Will maybe get the ball rolling on that today.

Hugs ladies xxx

angeltreats

Thanks Sewit xx

We are being referred straight for IVF, apparently there is no point in even bothering with anything else. Looks like it'll be ICSI given my hubby's sperm issues. I have to phone them when my BMI is back under 30 (it was 30.2) and they will write the referral letter straight away.

Unfortunately there is no local support group at all, and only the IVF unit itself offers counselling so I'm going to have to go to the GP and explain that I just can't cope and they need to help me find a reason to bother getting out of bed in the mornings because I'm rapidly running out.

I did sort of thing they'd at least try clomid etc first, but apparently even despite my odd cycles my numbers were all fine and they don't want to risk overstimming.

I texted my best friend (who is pregnant with her second) to tell her and I swear she is only one of two people in the world who know what to say to me, unsurprising as she had fertility issues herself, and funny enough she's also the only pregnant person who I do not hate. The other person is my mum who struggled with infertility for ten years before adopting me. Unfortunately both of them live in a different country.

Would really like to strangle someone as a stress-busting exercise.

Oh and the infertility clinic shares a waiting room with the fertiles. Of course it bloody does. Lots of lovely pregnant bellies to look at while you ponder why you can't manage to get yourself up the duff. I'm thinking of making a formal complaint to the PCT as it is really unreasonable.

Right then, I need to catch up on the rest of this thread, I've been avoiding it just in case anyone announces a pregnancy. So sorry ladies, I know that is selfish and horrible and I really do wish sticky babies for every single one of you, but I've had a few off days (weeks) where I forget that other people have struggles too.

Love and hugs to all and baby dust and I really mean it xxxxx

Part_Mouse

Hi all

Firstly huge hugs to all those struggling.

WW what a great number of eggs, Ive got everything crossed for you.

Angel sounds like a visit to your gp is a good idea, feeling really low isn't something you need to live with.

Derby got everything crossed for you, really sorry to hear you feel AF is on the way, we do know our own bodies really well don't we.

Star jeez I bet you were fuming, is he able to repeat the test?

cwtw I hope the wait goes quickly so you can start Clomid.

Loveactually all the best for the start of treatment.

T2d glad things are looking more postive for you.

Afm Iv'e been struggling with wether to post or not, feeling really low and not opermistic at all for the injections. I feel iv'e got nothing good to post just neg stuff after each scan etc

I'm still bleeding aswell, its day 12 today dreading Mondays scan aswell.

SewIt_2

Angeltreats - I forgot to mention that the Infertility Network has a helpline, might be worth giving them a call too. They also have a list of infertility support groups across the country. defo go to your GP, this is hard enough without having to cope alone.

www . infertilitynetworkuk . com

don't apologise about being selfish, we all help each other out when we can, and hope that others will help us too when we need it. Also, I never got offered any other treatment than IVF, we are unexplained IF. It is good that they are not giving you treatments they don't think will work for you, only to then six months later refer you for IVF. Sounds like they are on the ball and really want to get you a baby!

PM - so sorry things are not looking hopeful for you. Never feel like you can't post here, even if you feel it is always negative. Its absolutely not, you are always very kind and encouraging to others and we are happy to do the same for you whenever you need it (even if its lots right now cause things are carp for you)

Forgot to say :wave: hi to Loveactually, hope your stay is short and sweet!

HUGE BIG GROUP HUG to all the lovely ladies! :grouphug:

angeltreats

Hugs PM. You are having such a hard time I know it just wears you out when you only ever have bad news and bad results. Thinking of you xx

Thanks SewIt. Unfortunately the nearest support group is about 30 miles away! But I just booked myself into a stress management workshop on 14 December, apparently it deals with CBT which can only be helpful. There's also a weight management-related one in the new year which I've also booked onto which from what I gather deals with the psychological aspects of weight loss, unlike weightwatchers which just wants you to eat less without dealing with WHY we actually scoff too much.

Hi Loveactually! Sorry to see you here, in the nicest possible way. If I get my @rse in gear and lose this weight sharpish we might end up having our first appointments near the same time or I might be a wee bit behind you, maybe we can be IVF buddies.

Loveactually

That's lovely angel treats we can be IVF buddies.

My first appointment is on February 4th when is yours ?

Currently my bmi is 29 just near the mark that's my referral went through I m trying to stick to that bmi figure now.