Were/are your second children anything like the first?

poet123

notanewuser wrote: »

To those of you whose first babies were challenging (ahem), what made you want to risk your sanity by doing it again?!

They all grow out of it eventually. My first one, who never slept, was asleep 24/7 as a teen!! Everything passes and they do emerge as nice people eventually, so if you want more you just need the reserves of stamina to get through any possibility.:D

CupOfChai

Not got any of my own, but my brother and I are VERY different, to the point I once asked my mum if she was sure she'd brought the right one home from hospital as I couldn't understand how we could be from the same home and parents but still be so different!

coolcait

My first was hard work.

In my innocence, I thought that's just how babies were. And got on with it.

My second was a textbook 'perfect baby'. I realised just how hard it had been with my first.

Then I got on with it.

Both have grown up to be decent human beings. Who are pretty good at getting on with it. :rotfl:

As for the OP, any suggestion that someone is being 'nagged into' having another baby is a red flag.

That's before you start thinking about the dodgy relationship dynamics and dodgy extended family dynamics which make up so much of the OP's posting history.

Any baby deserves to be born into a stable family. All the more so if it's a baby who refuses to follow the text books

notanewuser

coolcait wrote: »

My first was hard work.

In my innocence, I thought that's just how babies were. And got on with it.

My second was a textbook 'perfect baby'. I realised just how hard it had been with my first.

Then I got on with it.

Both have grown up to be decent human beings. Who are pretty good at getting on with it. :rotfl:

As for the OP, any suggestion that someone is being 'nagged into' having another baby is a red flag.

That's before you start thinking about the dodgy relationship dynamics and dodgy extended family dynamics which make up so much of the OP's posting history.

Any baby deserves to be born into a stable family. All the more so if it's a baby who refuses to follow the text books

Enough of the sly digs now thanks.

I'm 99.9999999999% convinced I don't want another. Ever.

It took DH 8 years to persuade me to have DD. Of the 6 other couples in my antenatal class, only 1 has had a second child. On the other hand, my 3 sisters in law have had 5 babies in less than 2.5 years. It's coming up in conversation - and has been since the day I had her. Everybody wants to know when you're going to do it again.

My overly logical mind says that lightning can't strike twice. I just wondered whether that was true anecdotally. That's all.

FBaby

notanewuser wrote: »

To those of you whose first babies were challenging (ahem), what made you want to risk your sanity by doing it again?!

People telling me that second babies are always easier

I was very reluctant when my ex mentioned a second child, so all I agreed to was coming up the pill (as I was sleeping with DD1, I thought it was still secure!). After 4 months, I decided to be a bit more active. 6 months later, I thought my period was late and that was it. I was petrified, but finally decided to test....and was totally taken by surprise when it came negative but instead of feeling relieved, I felt very disappointed. From then on, I was on a mission! I fell pregnant 4 months later. Ironically, the one thing I'd said after DD1 was born was that I absolutely definitely didn't want to have another birth in the middle of the winter....DD2 due date was on DD1 birthday...in the middle of the winter...

applecrumble24

notanewuser wrote: »

To those of you whose first babies were challenging (ahem), what made you want to risk your sanity by doing it again?!

The baby stage is such a small part in the grand scheme of things. I've always wanted more than one child so I was prepared for another nightmare few months-year to get the family I wanted.

Plus second time round, you lose a lot of the anxieties and are happy to do anything for an easy life!

notanewuser

applecrumble24 wrote: »

The baby stage is such a small part in the grand scheme of things. I've always wanted more than one child so I was prepared for another nightmare few months-year to get the family I wanted.

Plus second time round, you lose a lot of the anxieties and are happy to do anything for an easy life!

I wasn't at all anxious, but then I didn't need to be.

applecrumble24

notanewuser wrote: »

I wasn't at all anxious, but then I didn't need to be.

Fair enough, but as a first time mum to a difficult baby I was a wreck.
I was prepared for the practicalities of parenthood but not the emotional rollercoaster and, among my friends at least, that's not uncommon.

I worried constantly and blamed myself about everything e.g not sleeping, crying etc and was at the doctors with the first sign of a cold. This time round i'm a lot more relaxed about things, thats all i'm saying.

FBaby

Fair enough, but as a first time mum to a difficult baby I was a wreck.

So was I! I wasn't young, naturally confident, not anxious at all about being a mum or looking after a newborn, had done years of babysitting and looking after my baby sister when she was only a few weeks old (20 years apart). Yet when I was faced with my colicky baby and nothing I did stopped the screaming, i felt totally hopeless. When the exhaustion that came with it got the better of me, I was quite a mess too, which totally took me by surprise. However, like it's been said, this was only a small time in her life. She ended up a very easy child and now quite an easy teenager so far, so trading a few months for years was not a bad deal!

Person_one

applecrumble24 wrote: »

Fair enough, but as a first time mum to a difficult baby I was a wreck.
I was prepared for the practicalities of parenthood but not the emotional rollercoaster and, among my friends at least, that's not uncommon.

I worried constantly and blamed myself about everything e.g not sleeping, crying etc and was at the doctors with the first sign of a cold. This time round i'm a lot more relaxed about things, thats all i'm saying.

This is partly why I don't have children. I'd be one of those parents who stays up for three days straight watching them like a hawk to check they're still breathing! I think I'd actually lose my mind!