Were/are your second children anything like the first?

FBaby

My first was a nightmare baby, crying all the time, very demanding, always needed attention, waking up all night, wide awake at 5am etc... She was lovely and I adored her but totally exhausting. My OH wanted a second one early on and I just couldn't face another baby like her. In the end, he convinced me after all my friends told me that 2nd babies were always much easier. I was quite anxious but was confident it would be easier second time around. As it happened, he was worse than his sister. Suffered horrible colic to the point that at one stage when he was about 3 weeks old, he cried every single time he was awake for 10 days. He too was a demanding baby waking up very early (4am in his case!). Looking after him and his sister was incredibly challenging especially as their dad worked away. I did experience the sense of regret of having him a number of times, even though I did feel very protective towards him. What saved me I think was going back to work each time, although both their childminder pointed at how hard work they were, although they were attached to them.

However, it didn't take long to thank God that I had him. Besides having grown into a wonderful boy, he and his sister have always got along fantastically. They are incredibly close despite being different gender and 3 years apart. They are indeed very similar in their personality and I think that is why they get along so well, although they do have their differences.

All this to say that in the end it doesn't matter how tough things are because it doesn't stop you loving them just as much when they are demanding than when they are angels, it is just much harder work.

victory

Kaz2904 wrote: »

I love them both but I am leaving home while DD is a teenager .

Oh wouldn't it be marvellous if we could:rotfl::rotfl:

pops5588

According to our mum, as the first baby I was quite chilled, relaxed and smiley and not too much bother. My little sister was a terror. Lots of tantrums and screaming and stubborn "refusing to move" moments in the middle of Tesco. We can see it in all the photo albums too, when we're all together we go back over them and have a chuckle about it

That being said, little sister and I get on famously. We struggled a bit in childhood purely because our father treated us differently (she was the favourite) so I definitely struggled with a few jealousy issues as kid, but I have always loved her dearly. We are still very different, but wouldn't change her for the world and am certainly very happy our Mum took a chance on having another!

bylromarha

Depends what day you ask me...

Both my kids are very different people. Both lovely. Both a pain in the backside at times.

FWIW, my best friend's 1st came out crying and wailed for 10 months. Gave the couple max 2 hours sleep at a time. Having tried to conceive for 13 years, she was happy for the lack of sleep. Her 2nd was a dream - she kept asking the midwives during home visits if baby was okay as she slept for 4 hours at a time and woke up without wailing.

If you are going to have a second, have it because you want to, not becuase the jungle drums are beating up a storm that "It's time"

Gra76

Our eldest is 8, has always been confident and to the point. He's very trusting (maybe a bit too much at times).

Our middle one is just 5, he's so shy it's unbelievable. Won't speak to anyone unless he knows them or has spent 30 mins+ around them until he starts to open up a bit. Hides behind my legs when we go out anywhere if I'm talking to someone he doesn't know. Has a rage in him that is hard to control at times!

Our youngest is 2 and very much like our eldest and will shout '"HELLO!!" to strangers on the other side of the road. She's probably more forward than our eldest ever was.

applecrumble24

My first was a bloomin nightmare as a baby, cried constantly, wouldn't be put down, hardly smiled for about six months and never slept.
He turned 2 the week his baby brother was born and has been a quite easy toddler despite the lack of 1 on 1 time.
DS2 is seven months and has been a revalation, I was dreading the newborn stage but I have never known a baby more content. He's not brilliant sleeper, but as ds1 didn't sleep through till a couple of months ago, sleep deprication has become the norm in my house now!

moneypuddle

I only have one child - a nearly one year old and he has genuinely been an absolute dream baby, so it scares me too about having a second. I do worry how I could possibly love another as much as I love him too!

But surely part of the reason a second child is often harder is actually because YOU cannot give them 100% of your attention as you did with your first, and in general you're also running around after a toddler or child at the same time as caring for a baby. You'd expect it to be harder!

notanewuser

moneypuddle wrote: »

I only have one child - a nearly one year old and he has genuinely been an absolute dream baby, so it scares me too about having a second. I do worry how I could possibly love another as much as I love him too!

But surely part of the reason a second child is often harder is actually because YOU cannot give them 100% of your attention as you did with your first, and in general you're also running around after a toddler or child at the same time as caring for a baby. You'd expect it to be harder!

Some of my friends have 10 years between their children, so I don't think its always that.

Nikki

My first was a nightmare, but not in the usual way. He has ADHD and ASD but we did not find this out until he was 7 and 11 respectively. It was due to this that he was a nightmare. My second and third were a walk in the park compared to him, interestingly enough my youngest also has ADHD/ASD but it didn't become apparent until he was older!

notanewuser

To those of you whose first babies were challenging (ahem), what made you want to risk your sanity by doing it again?!