What to do when punishments don't work?

afaulkner66

double_mummy wrote: »

the best thing to do is to get as many people involved at this point so they can all come together gp, school, anything like a scout leader the more information you can gather the better the chance of something happening

personally i do think it could be something like adhd autism spectrum etc and the more people involved to help the more possibility of help

OP does your local hospital do any drop ins like speech and language - he may be having trouble expressing himself and might be good to get a quick eval with them as well

My oldest son had glue ear and was referred to speech and language, youngest son was also checked at the same time as he had a lisp and was discharged after 2 sessions-the lisp has since gone after using the techniques shown to us, so will go back to them again and ask them if they will see him for another session.

Thank you all for taking the time to reply, I really appreciate it. xx

ValHaller

Own_My_Own wrote: »

So what your is saying is, a mother shouldn't take her own child to the doctors until someone else has kicked the idea around a bit and agreed with her ?

Are you for real ????

I am for real. But if you are for calling an ambulance to deal with this child I'll defer to you.

Personally, I think that it is a waste of resources to bring the GP to this one - much like taking him to the optician, the dentist or the fire brigade - unless other resources indicate that there is a referral the GP can make.

afaulkner66

PasturesNew wrote: »

Maybe he got used to being the favourite/youngest ... then along comes that new one, taking up all your time and attention - and he just feels overlooked.

He's angry and doesn't know why. Wants to be noticed. He's 7 and doesn't know he's angry; other two are older so more able to get on with things, they've never been the youngest/favourite. Nothing much has changed for them.

To be honest this behavior has been going on since way before youngest was born, but it was easier to handle when he was younger, I am struggling at times now and want to nip it in the bud before he gets older still and ends up getting into serious trouble.

afaulkner66

ValHaller wrote: »

I am for real. But if you are for calling an ambulance to deal with this child I'll defer to you.

Personally, I think that it is a waste of resources to bring the GP to this one - much like taking him to the optician, the dentist or the fire brigade - unless other resources indicate that there is a referral the GP can make.

I am not taking him to the GP just for this, I have stated before that I had already booked an appointment to discuss the fact that at 7 he is still wetting the bed, this is just something that I will mention while I am there.

Own_My_Own

PasturesNew wrote: »

Maybe he got used to being the favourite/youngest ... then along comes that new one, taking up all your time and attention - and he just feels overlooked.

He's angry and doesn't know why. Wants to be noticed. He's 7 and doesn't know he's angry; other two are older so more able to get on with things, they've never been the youngest/favourite. Nothing much has changed for them.

Every child was at one point the youngest.

ValHaller

afaulkner66 wrote: »

I am not taking him to the GP just for this, I have stated before that I had already booked an appointment to discuss the fact that at 7 he is still wetting the bed, this is just something that I will mention while I am there.

That makes more sense than just taking him for hitting a girl with a stick.

Own_My_Own

ValHaller wrote: »

That makes more sense than just taking him for hitting a girl with a stick.

At what point did the op say she was taking her son to the doctors because he hit a girl with a stick.

Did you actually read the opening post ?

double_mummy

there are some worrying things that have a combo of his behavior and his bed wetting so i would discuss it all together rather than 2 separate issues

optician might also be a good idea if he cant see properly he may not be able to read facial signals that people are giving him

have you asked the school to talk to someone from their senco to see if the teachers have raised any concerns with them

afaulkner66

ValHaller wrote: »

That makes more sense than just taking him for hitting a girl with a stick.

Believe me it's more then that, this is just today's incident. I am at the point where his behavior is draining me, if he was sympathetic about what he'd done I'd be happy with it, but he isn't. I don't want him to be the 'asbo kid', who end's up splashed all over the papers for doing some horrific crime (maybe an exaggeration but they all start somewhere) I want him to have respect for others and to understand when he's wrong and not to be so impulsive with his actions.

afaulkner66

double_mummy wrote: »

there are some worrying things that have a combo of his behavior and his bed wetting so i would discuss it all together rather than 2 separate issues

optician might also be a good idea if he cant see properly he may not be able to read facial signals that people are giving him

have you asked the school to talk to someone from their senco to see if the teachers have raised any concerns with them

His last eye test was in July and was fine. What are senco? I've never dealt with anyone other then teachers at school