Woulld you expect ex partner to have a school uniform?

Tigsteroonie

On the discussion about number of sets of uniform ...

I went through secondary school with one skirt, one jumper & three shirts to last each week. Not nice, puberty wasn't kind to me, I really could have done with clean clothes every day.

Our little boy (4yo) needs an entirely clean uniform every day, so he has five sets - well, currently four sets but I have to wash midweek so I'm going shopping this weekend. By the time he's tried to feed himself lunch & played with paint or gloop, he's a complete mess

peachyprice

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

I went through secondary school with one skirt, one jumper & three shirts to last each week. Not nice, puberty wasn't kind to me, I really could have done with clean clothes every day.

That's all my daughter has now, she wears a clean shirt every day, but doesn't need a clean skirt or jumper every day. My boys had clean shirts every day and two pairs of trousers.

Clean jumpers and trousers/skirts every day for high school children really isn't necessary for a child without special needs and is just making laundry for the sake of it.

balletshoes

Claire212 wrote: »

As you will all be aware, it is Friday. My son is preparing yet again for a weekend at his fathers and an overnight stay that he does not want. He will be returning after school picking up his PE kit and UNIFORM and travelling to his grandparents by bus. Having his tea and then going to his Dad's when they finish work. I have always said that I will provide him with a uniform.

However, I have made it clear that this shall be the last time I will be doing this. If my ex does not wish to provide a uniform for his son then he will have no option but to return him on Sunday as my son requested or Monday morning before school so that he can collect his things and change, in good time so that he is not late, which means he needs to drop our son off at 7.30 at the latest (He leaves at 7.50).

sigh - or, he could wash the uniform his son is wearing on Friday when he picks him up for the weekend, ready for Monday morning (why do I feel like I'm banging my head against a wall on this thread?).

FBaby

What is side is how you don't seem to appreciate that your issue is about perspective rather than doing the right thing. I personally think that your stance is not teaching your son anything about his dad behaviour but more about your own and the effect of stubbornness. I wonder whether you're son will deep inside learn that you are doing the right thing rather than thinking that you are being petty about nothing.

Claire212

balletshoes wrote: »

sigh - or, he could wash the uniform his son is wearing on Friday when he picks him up for the weekend, ready for Monday morning (why do I feel like I'm banging my head against a wall on this thread?).

this isn't necessary or accurate....

My son will be returning HOME. He will be taking off his dirty uniform and will be wearing his day clothes, taking a clean fresh uniforn with him. Going to his grandparents for tea as he normally does first.

This will be the only time I will do this for my ex. In the future he will be coming home, changing into his day clothes and leaving the house with nothing but his school bag and clothes. There will be NO uniform to wash.

FatVonD

balletshoes wrote: »

(why do I feel like I'm banging my head against a wall on this thread?).

Because you are! The OP will insist her son comes home to change out of his uniform just to spite her ex. Instead of setting off after school with just the clothes on his back (weekend clothes having been handed over on Thursday evening) the poor child will have to come home to collect his bag.

OP, how much of this has to do with your other thread about your son wanting to walk to school with his friends and your ex insisting on having another night?

Edit: I rest my case! *points upwards*

FatVonD

Claire212 wrote: »

I will not teach my son that one parent should do the washing, ironing and care providing, and the majority of the finances, while the other can sit back, pay a small amount of what is required to bring up a child, and still put away all his nicely washed and ironed clothes before heading to the park for a fun day out and ice cream. Parenting is parenting not all cinemas and theme parks.

Do you honestly think that every other PWR has never felt the same? Just rise above it, he has limited time with him so let them have some fun. Your son will realise the way things are (and very soon if he's already 13), you really aren't doing yourself any favours being so spiteful.

Spendless

Claire212 wrote: »

As you will all be aware, it is Friday. My son is preparing yet again for a weekend at his fathers and an overnight stay that he does not want. He will be returning after school picking up his PE kit and UNIFORM and travelling to his grandparents by bus. Having his tea and then going to his Dad's when they finish work. I have always said that I will provide him with a uniform.


I will not teach my son that one parent should do the washing, ironing and care providing, and the majority of the finances, while the other can sit back, pay a small amount of what is required to bring up a child, and still put away all his nicely washed and ironed clothes before heading to the park for a fun day out and ice cream. Parenting is parenting not all cinemas and theme parks.

I've dipped in and out of this thread, so sorry if I'm being dim here but surely on a Friday your child is already wearing a school uniform? Why go home get changed and take another one ready for Monday? Travel to Grandparents in the uniform which will then have to be washed ready for next week, that will address the issue of your ex not having to launder any of his child's clothes.

I don't see the uniform as being 'yours' (because you went to the shop to purchase them nor are they your exes. They belong to your son. It makes logistical sense if you have 5 sets for 1 set to live at Dads house and the other 4 at yours. If you count up and one set has gone astray, you tell Dad to find 'his' set. In the event of emergency 4 sets of uniform at your house, would be enough for a contingency plan. My 13yo son now has 2-3 sets. That was something I never foresaw when he was Infant age, when I always had 5 of everything, but as he got bigger, I couldn't afford 5 jumpers @ £15.50 each or trousers at £16 per pair. Once they are past the age when they are capable of eating a sandwich without the filling going down their top and no longer look like they were the canvas after an art lesson, you don't need as much.

peachyprice

Claire212 wrote: »

this isn't necessary or accurate....

My son will be returning HOME. He will be taking off his dirty uniform and will be wearing his day clothes, taking a clean fresh uniforn with him. Going to his grandparents for tea as he normally does first.

This will be the only time I will do this for my ex. In the future he will be coming home, changing into his day clothes and leaving the house with nothing but his school bag and clothes. There will be NO uniform to wash.

And exactly who do you think is going to be the one to suffer because of your pig ignorant stubborness?


I'll give you a clue, it won't be your ex.

Claire212

FBaby wrote: »

What is side is how you don't seem to appreciate that your issue is about perspective rather than doing the right thing. I personally think that your stance is not teaching your son anything about his dad behaviour but more about your own and the effect of stubbornness. I wonder whether you're son will deep inside learn that you are doing the right thing rather than thinking that you are being petty about nothing.

How will he even know? The only way the issue will be raised is if his Dad makes a big deal out of it to our Son.

If he does go out and get him a uniform then he will see that his Dad has to buy the every day things too and make sure that they are washed and that his Dad really is his parent and not just fun Dad!

If his Dad doesn't really want to fork out what will be around £20 for a uniform, he will probably bring him home before school, or send him to school in no uniform? That's his call, not mine.