Woulld you expect ex partner to have a school uniform?

FBaby

It must be complete coincidence that your decision to tell him to get your son a uniform or...happens at the same time than changing his days to suits your son's desires. Of course it had nothing to do with your son wanting to also walk with his friends on Monday mornings and it goes without saying that your ex has clearly a problem if he dares consider that any manipulation is taking place...

duchy

What does your son think is the best solution ?

Have you asked him his opinion ?

iammumtoone

Am I missing the point, The son wants to walk to school from home. If by not providing the ex with a uniform, this means that her son has to be brought home monday morning meaning he can walk as he wishes,she is doing the right thing for her son. It may be an unusual way to go about it but if the ex wont do this after being asked, then the uniform issue seems to be a way to force the ex to adhere to his sons wishes. What it the harm it that.

balletshoes

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

There is the logistical question of what happens with your son's clothes. Regardless of who goes to the shop to get them, regardless of whose money is used to buy them, you need to sort out the best way, between you, of getting clothes in the right place.
If your son goes to his dad's in non-uniform on a Friday and goes to school from his dad's in uniform on a Monday there will, every time, be a set of worn uniform coming from his dad's to yours. Regardless of who bought the uniform, somehow that's got to get back to his dad's.
So either that works best by your son taking them clean to his grandparents' on Friday, wearing them to his grandparents' on Friday for his dad to wash them over the weekend or some other way. Just pick what works best for you and do it.
You need to understand and appreciate that your ex buying a full set of uniform will only fix this problem once. The next time he goes he will still need to take uniform with him. And the same goes for a PE kit.
Unless you are saying that his dad should buy a new complete set every time he has your son, who buys it doesn't help here.

exactly this - so even if Dad does buy another school uniform, after the first week your son is still going to be carting school uniform and/or clothes back and forward.

poet123

iammumtoone wrote: »

Am I missing the point, The son wants to walk to school from home. If by not providing the ex with a uniform, this means that her son has to be brought home monday morning meaning he can walk as he wishes,she is doing the right thing for her son. It may be an unusual way to go about it but if the ex wont do this after being asked, then the uniform issue seems to be a way to force the ex to adhere to his sons wishes. What it the harm it that.

The dad sees the lad one night per fortnight on a school night.....why is it such a big deal that he walks from home on that day?

balletshoes

iammumtoone wrote: »

Am I missing the point, The son wants to walk to school from home. If by not providing the ex with a uniform, this means that her son has to be brought home monday morning meaning he can walk as he wishes,she is doing the right thing for her son. It may be an unusual way to go about it but if the ex wont do this after being asked, then the uniform issue seems to be a way to force the ex to adhere to his sons wishes. What it the harm it that.

I'll give you an example - Dad is just as pedantic and stubborn as the OP seems to be (only going by this thread). He refuses to allow son to go home on Sunday evening, insists its Monday morning, as thats the arrangement. Son hasn't brought his school uniform with him, ready to be worn on Monday morning. Dad drops son off at school, with him not in school uniform, because son didn't bring it with him (he's 12, my DD is 12 and I'd expect her to sort herself out and make sure she had everything she needed for a school day if she were away from home overnight). Son get punished by the school for not having school uniform on.

Son is the one being punished here, no-one else.

FatVonD

iammumtoone wrote: »

Am I missing the point, The son wants to walk to school from home. If by not providing the ex with a uniform, this means that her son has to be brought home monday morning meaning he can walk as he wishes,she is doing the right thing for her son. It may be an unusual way to go about it but if the ex wont do this after being asked, then the uniform issue seems to be a way to force the ex to adhere to his sons wishes. What it the harm it that.

Except the OP hasn't said that's what it's about, I was the one that mentioned the other thread/issue and the OP purported not to understand why I had.

I didn't understand when the OP said about getting 'Whine..can't carry..whine... get the mick took for having PE ..etc etc...' from her son but I think there may be a degree of manipulation from the son to get what he wants too.

It's a shame if that's what this has all been about that the OP didn't say so 7 pages ago.

iammumtoone

FatVonD wrote: »

It's a shame if that's what this has all been about that the OP didn't say so 7 pages ago.

If it is what it is about then I think everyone would be more understanding as at the end of the day she is fighting for what her son wants.

balletshoes

iammumtoone wrote: »

If it is what it is about then I think everyone would be more understanding as at the end of the day she is fighting for what her son wants.

maybe - i still don't think its a tactic thats likely to problem-free for their son.

iammumtoone

poet123 wrote: »

The dad sees the lad one night per fortnight on a school night.....why is it such a big deal that he walks from home on that day?

Because its what he wants why should his dad not bring him home early Monday morning, he will not be missing out on time with him. Once the OPs son has tried this for a few weeks, he might change his mind and decide he wants more of a lay in, instead of having to get up earlier so he can walk with his mates. But that should be the sons decision.